Yummy Food That I'll Have To Give Up On This Low-Carb Diet I'm Trying

Anything wid flour in it (Sandwiches, pizza, pies, cakes, cookies [oh no! Not the cookies!] etc.)
Anyting wid sugar in it (alcohol, icecream, juice, soda, breath mints etc.)
Cereal
Tortilla chips
Macaroni pie
Potato (salad, mashed, baked, scalloped, etc.)

No more rotis...just protein, fruits and vegetables.

Why am I doin' this to myself?
I deserve only your pity for this.

I think this chick at ballroom is tryin' to steal my partner.
Why must she keep comin' and "borrowing" MY partner when dey got nuff udda men dat ain' got no friggin' partner??? Schuuupes.
Little does SHE know that her ploy ain't gonna work! She'll just have to find her own! Sneaky bitch.

C.O.T.
Forgot to mention that my new latin shoes
arrived the other day. I got 'em in flesh-coloured satin with 3" heels.
I dunno who these people are tryin' to fool when they call anything "flesh-coloured"! I mean, that certainly isn't the colour of MY flesh! Oh well, it'll still work I guess. It'll have to, cuz there's another show comin' up in November and we have some SERIOUS work to do!
I still haven't forgotten about my dream shoes
,...I'll just have to wait a little longer 'til we can be together!

My brother's surprise birthday party came off great! He was comPLETELY clueless about it, and the look on his face when everyone came out and yelled "Surprise!" was priceless!!!

And for once, HIS friends were way sportier than mine! Whassup with that? My friends gettin' old or wha?
And one-a his friends, who I thought was a whiny spoilsport at first, turned out to be bare kix after a few Banks'!
And did I mention hot? My man start doin' a strip tease to some groovy "flamming music" I had on....slowly unbuttonin' de shirt to reveal a surprisingly well-sculpted torso! Well...what was I supposed to do?
I did the only thing that seemed appropriate under the circumstances...I put a quarter in his belly-button! Haha! I know it's not nice to go encouraging the inebriated in their drunken antics, but he's just so much more FUN when he's tipsy, it's unbelievable! Plus he's a hottie.

Would it be wrong for me to try to pull at my little brother's friend?

Recently I’ve been struck by all the instances I see of gold-digging women around the place. I mean. I see absolutely gorgeous women hanging around with um, less-than-attractive-lookin’ fellas, and I’m told time and time again “Money, Daana, money.”

Awright, hold up! Am I the shallow one here?? Don’t looks count for ANYTHING anymore?
With women I mean, cuz with men it seems like looks are at the very top of their “Required qualities” list.
I just couldn't bring myself to be with someone who looked like say...Old Dirty Bastard from the Wu-Tang Clan, no matter WHAT the average balance on his bank account is! Please!

According to the typical BET music video, any uncouth, no-class, face-looks-like-a-horse-pooch-dat-been-shot-wid-platinum-bullets idiot out there can have his freakin’ PICK of long-legged, scantily-clad women, as long as he’s “ballin’”! Makes me sick. Then again, that IS how hookers operate. (And to think, this is the general image bein’ shown on the ONLY tv network that supposedly represents Black people. But that’s another blog.)

I myself have been accused of only goin’ for fellas that’re good-lookin’, and yeah, I’ll admit, if a guy looks hot he gets my attention initially, but by Tyson Beckford, if he doesn’t have the brains and good-nature (very important) to back it up, then he ain’t my type!

I finally got to see 28 Days Later last night with a couple friends. And yes, it was worth the wait.

I think this movie has had a profound affect on me. I was paranoid on the whole drive back home. Check me lookin' around nervously, half-expecting a mob of red-eyed madmen to jump out in front my car.
I can still feel the bitter taste of adrenaline in my mouth. It was THAT frikkin' scary!

And the main character, Jim (Mr. "Hello?", himself) cleans up REAL good.
That's right, I've developed a crush on him too. I gotta stop with these movie-star crushes of mine. It's a sickness, but it feels so good.
me/ refrains from squealing "Omigosh! He is SO cute!"

I need to see this man, uh movie, again.

Happy October everybody!

I hereby solemly swear that, if I am so lucky as to celebrate my 50th birthday, I will do everything in my power to refrain from

1.)Becoming a miserable old coot, too set in her ways to try anything new
2.) Boring everyone in my immediate vicinity with the same old tired stories
3.) Bothering about every little insignificant piece of crap that should present itself
4.)Immediately dismissing the reasoning of my younger (and more savvy) relatives.

Old people can be so vexing.

C.O.T.

If I could have 4 wishes right now (the standard 3, then 1 extra), and the genie granting them insisted that they could only be selfish, frivolous wishes), I know one of 'em would be to have a voice like Aretha Franklyn, Joan Armatrading and Carla Thomas.
A rich, powerful, soulful voice.
Yup, I'd be a blues/jazz singer on the weekends!

I need meat.
Aw man. I'm sitting here..absolutely starving. Yes yes, I DID have lunch, but good grief, there were no spare ribs!

My body is absolutely craving spare ribs. I think I may be deficient in Vitamin BBQ sauce, but I can't be sure about that. I'll get a second opinion from my doctor.
I need to haul my a$$ to TnT or suhin' before I collapse.


C.O.T.

What the hell is up with me? I gotta be allergic to SUH'IN around here, cuz recently I've just been erupting into these alarming fits of sneezing in the middle of the night, in the middle of the day, while driving, etc.
I took drastic measures yesterday and de-dusted my room as much as humanly possible, but it didn't work! I'm STILL sneezing like a friggin'....uh...thing that sneezes a lot.
Maybe I'll cave and get some allergy medicine to accompany my spare ribs.

I think I may have a challenge here.
I've entered a new ballroom partnership, and so far, I'm not sensing the same level of enthusiasm about it from my partner as I have.
This means that I'm gonna have to take charge in some ways,…assume the role of Initiator.
The problem with that, is that this is a role that I’m definitely not used to playing. This is gonna be difficult as rass.
If this is how he’s gonna be for the whole time we’re together, then I’m gonna have to rely on myself for motivation for the BOTH of us. Even thinking about it is draining me right now.
This’ll require a truckload-a inner strength and perseverance. Qualities which I’ve always wanted to develop in myself, and I guess this is my chance.
Yup, this’ll be good for me…like a kind of therapy.

Bring it on.


C.O.T.
I have a sneaking suspicion that Rix still reads my blogs.
RIX, IF YOU READ THIS, I’LL KNOW! YOU CAN’T HIDE IT!

I will never understand how anyone can use the words "I love you" so freely. Those are some dangerous words right there. They set off all kindsa bells and whistles in your head. Not to mention all dem chemical reactions that cloud your judgement.
*Sigh* All that commotion caused by what's s'posed to be JUST words. Just words, my ass.
And the sentence "I think I'm falling in love with you." wreaks JUST as much havoc on your system.

Isn't there s'posed to be some sorta standard length of time that a couple has to be "going out" before one or both parties involved decide that they're in love? Like a year, maybe?
Shit man, this ain' no game.
People cannot just go around saying "I love you" all willy-nilly like it ain't nuttin'! That can really mess someone up!

On a somewhat realated topic...

Rix ain't goin' nowhere for a while to come. Yup, he's gonna be in my life in a big way, and while I'm glad about that, I still gotta resist that temptation.
Damn cookie!

Okay...so I'm having a bit of a block as to what to blog about. So this here'll be fictional.
Yes, this is what my life SHOULD be like:

Good grief, this week is gonna be tough, but at least I got through the dreaded Monday alive! Yesterday, we had the new lighting system installed for the stage, so we had to practise the whole cabaret routine out on the lawn, of all places!
It wasn't TOO bad though, especially since HE showed up again to watch me!
Jonathon, beautiful Jonathon, always actin' like he doesn't want me. When's he gonna stop the facade and just give in?
He pretended to be "just passing by" again. Yeah right. I tellya, if he wasn't so bloody fine, I'd give up on him altogether.
Oh, who am I kidding! My heart was his from the first time i saw 'im! Just wish he'd get his act together.

Oh, and the place was PACKED again last night, as usual! Monty, our manager, gave us some big news after the show too: we're booked to go on a Caribbean tour for the next 3 months!
I couldn't believe it!
As head choreographer, dance principal in the show, AND lead singer in the band, this means I got some SERIOUS wuk to do!

Ok tha's it for now. Better grab some rest when I can!

Well, my quest for Beautiful Feet has been temporarily way-laid.
Yup, the toenail on the 2nd toe (my favourite one!) on my left foot has finally come completely off after hangin' on for a few weeks. Even though I knew I'd lose it (ever since I sustained the injury from a clumsy moment on my cruise when I banged my foot into my ballroom partner's heavy sneaker. I saw stars that day.), I still feel a sense of loss.
So much so, that I was inspired to write this poem:

Stripped Digit

Poor little toe,
Devoid of a nail
How could I know
You were destined to fail?

You lie with the others
Too pink and too naked
No more like your brothers
Not sure I can take it.

Where once was a nail
Now is uncovered skin.
I think I'll still paint you
Just so you'll fit in

Even though you're so bare
You haven't lost your "cutes"
Could this be an excuse
To buy some new boots?

All is not lost
Little toe, just hang on
You'll grow a new nail
And you're still my best one!

Yesterday was an unusually busy Saturday for me...instead of sleeping 'til 12, which is what I normally do after partying the night before, I got up at eight-friggin'-thirty to meet a guy(let's call 'im Bryan) in order to "help him out" as he put it, and be his partner for a Rhino Ryder excursion!

A Rhino Ryder is like a combination jet-ski/rubber dinghy, which seats 2 people, and the passenger has to sit RIGHT up behind the driver (i.e. in panty-mode) in order for this thing to go as fast as it can. Hmm, now that I think about it, it seems kinda sus...y'mean he had NO other female friends willing to do this thing? If this turns out to be a come-on (which I suspect it is), how can I turn him down nicely?

Oh well, I had a blast though! I should really make an effort to try more typical "tourist" activities!

The only thing that I had a slight problem with, happened during the snorkelling. Well, the whole point of the snorkelling was to feed the fish, and I guess I knew this but dammit, I am just NOT comfortable being surrounded by hundreds of fish, the size of your fore-arm, in a feeding-frenzy!
Our guide, Adrian, assured me that these fish were herbivorous, but I wasn't too sure...they kept circling me...slowly...watching me...waiting for the slightest sign of fear.
The other guide Hugh, a sadistic bastard, kept tossing bread over by me so that the fish would suddenly swoop around me in a blizzard of bubbles, fins and breadcrumbs! Just lemme catch him alone pun a night without that damn loaf-a bread!


The best part was the ride back in, when I got to drive! There are some things that just need to be said, and this is one of em':
Bryan drove like punk-ass beeyatch compared to me! I was all up in that Rhino Ryder mo'fo'!
Zig-zaggin' and doin' aqua-doughnuts and ting! Never mind I collided with some big-ass metal bouy that one time, I still rocked the boat...literally! :)

Yee-HA!

Whoah yeah...the more I look at them the more I want them...
This yearning grows stronger and stronger,... I can feel it in the very core of my being...
They are so sexy.
I'd love to have them...BOTH of them! A little double-team action never hurt anyone, right?

Someone told me the other day that lust is a bad thing, but I can't help it!
Behold the sexiness!!

Just lookin' at them turns me on...I'd love to feel them holding me as I rumba seductively across the floor.

They say the toes are erogenous zones.
One day they will be mine.

My grandfather's present housekeeper is quite a character. She seems unhindered by certain social graces that prevent most people from making personal comments to people they barely know. So I wasn't that surprised when, after not seeing me for months and months, the first thing out of her mouth this morning was
"Wait Daana, you hair look mock! You got on mock hair?" Slightly irritated, but not at all surprised.

This is, after all, the same person who informed me, with much authority that
"Drinkin' cold water does mek ya fat. You didn't know dat??"
If this is true, then people, throw out out your gym clothes, and stock up on cheesecake, because all hope is lost.

More of Daana's Dislikes

Raw onion in salads (or in anything for that matter)

Deodorant pads (who the hell wants that strong "potpourri" scent down there?)

Aquaintances who insist on standing WAY too close when speaking to you
(The question is not "What do ya do IF a golfball hits you" but "What do you do WHEN a golfball hits you?")

Mosquitos (Where in the name of all that is sacred are they COMING from?)

Soapscum (How DOES my mother get it off the shower?? I've tried and failed many times. I think she's Wonder Woman)

Chauvinistic males (What, you too good for housework?)

Elephant Man's voice (it just grates on my nerves...how is his work called music?)

I'll have to post something on my "Likes" again to even things up.

Well, I went to Boatyard on Saturday at the last minute...and it was great!
Looks like there's some sense to this white pants thing...cuz I wore a white miniskirt and I got nuff positive feedback. Imagine if I'd gone all out and went with the pants!

Slight C.O.T.

There's this young man that I see at fetes every now and then and he's just.... beautiful. He makes my aura swirl.
I saw him again at Boatyard and this time I found out his name.
I'd love to be able to go up and talk to him, and maybe I will someday, but right now, it's like I just can't.

I see 'im usually standin' along the perimeter of the dancefloor, talkin' to his boys, not really dancing at all, until later in the night, after he's had a few drinks.
All of a sudden I feel like a stalker, because I find I just love watching him.
And I realise that the reason I don't go up and try to get to know him (aside from the fact that I'm chicken-shit of course) is that I have a feeling that his personality won't match his looks.
He'll turn out to be too boring, or brawling, or maybe a crackhead.

For now, I'm happy with just being able to look at him.

I just came back from, get this....a class on Middle Eastern Dance, a.k.a Belly-dancing!!

It was bare sport, and my body feels much more...fluid.
At the end of the class, the instructor told me that I'm "a natural" and to "keep it up"!

Yee-ha!

That, by the way, was the Highlight Of My Day!

Note to self: get a jingly hip-scarf

Just came back from seeing S.W.A.T. in Olympus.

Colin Farrell is so fackin' hot! Tha's right! Tha's just how hot he is: I cussed to illustrate his hotness.

Gentlemen, this movie has lotsa guns, killing, and shit blowing up so you'll love it.

Ladies, this movie is just CRAWLING with hotties! Even de baddies look good!
And LL Cool J makes ya wanna "move your body like a snake" and slither ALL over that fine torso of his!

Aw man, now I'm all hyped up and I can't go to sleep.
Guess I'll have to do what any gal needs to do after too much eye-candy...go burn off those calories of course!

Take me Colin.

Criminal by Fiona Apple

I've been a bad, bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad sad world
When a girl will break a boy
Just because she can
Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to
Suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need
Guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds
Before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence
At hand
But I keep livin' this day like
The next will never come

Oh help me but don't tell me
To deny it
I've got to cleanse myself
Of all these lies till I'm good
Enough for him
I've got a lot to lose and I'm
Bettin' high
So I'm beggin' you before it ends
Just tell me where to begin

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

Let me know the way
Before there's hell to pay
Give me room to lay the law and let me go
I've got to make a play
To make my lover stay
So what would an angel say
The devil wants to know

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against

Because he's all I ever knew of love
The End

Yup. That's me right now.
I feel like a criminal for being careless with a delicate man. I should have to carry around a big red letter to pay for my crime. Not necessarily an "A"...maybe a "C".
"C" for careless of course.
Oh boy, what do I do now?

Well, after gettin' a bit stir-crazy at home all day, a little "coffee-lime" outing was welcomed with open arms! "Yaaaaay!" I thought to myself, "I'm goin' out!!"

It seems to me that every time there's a mixed gathering, somehow the topic of relationships and the differences between men and women, keeps cropping up and tends to dominate the converstion!
With all the time and energy that everybody seems to put into discussing these things, you'd think that we'd actually have a clue! It appears to be quite the opposite actually: we still don't know diddly squat about the opposite sex and we all make WAY too many generalisations!

I DID however learn a couple things last night:

1.) Men can be just as harsh and picky towards women, as women are towards men
2.) The correct direction to tweak your man's nipples is anticlockwise!

I feel like rambling....and I've decided that whenever I get that feeling, I'm gonna run with it instead of stifling it.

They say it's not healthy to suppress your feelings, and in spite of my knowing this, I find I'm still a big Feeling Suppresser with regard to feelings that when expressed will most likely cause conflict or confrontation.

On the positive side, I find I'm good at analysing myself!

C.O.T.
I feel like goin' out....who can I get on such short notice? I think I should start up a dating service. There seems to be a market for it!

Hmm, as bajans do we say "dating"? Like when ya go to the movies with a potential flam, do we call it a date? If not, then what??

Back to my dating service...on second thought, I think Barbados may be too small a community for that kinda thing. Though...a variation might actually work out...


Y'know...I think I like Japanese food.

Toldya I felt like rambling.

This here blog is dedicated to my baby: Colin Farrell.

Last night I watched Phone Booth and I was reminded of why he is the apple of my eye, my snookums, my boo...
1.) He's absolutely gorgeous
2.) He can actually act.


The very first time I laid eyes on this man (Minority Report) I knew it was love, and I knew I'd never look at another man the same way again!
Those sexy eyebrows...those eyes...that hair....that accent...normally I'm not attracted to a pottymouth, but I can definately make an exception with this Irish boy.

Yummy.

I used to be one of those people who used to think that honesty is the best policy in a relationship...that you should always be open, that you should be free with your heart, and give it willingly and fully, cuz that's the only way to truly feel alive.
I can't remember which movie brainwashed me into believing that bullshit and I can't remember exactly when I stopped being so naive.

What do you do when someone gives you their heart, pours out their feelings to you so openly, exposing their vulnerability to you ? I'll admit, these days everyone else is so guarded, bitter and jaded, that this display of honesty and naivety caught me off-guard. I'm feeling a little over-whelmed.
Doesn't he know how easy it is to get hurt?
Doesn't he realise that you have to protect yourself above all?

If someone told me 5 years ago that I'd be sayin' these things, I woulda called 'em a "big ol' meanie", and run off crying.
Now, I say NEVER let 'em know how much you really care! NEVER let 'em know the whole story.

:(

Okay, so I'm back from my cruise....and I'm suffering from SEVERE Post Cruise Depression (PCD)!
There just aren't words to describe the absolute magnificentocity that I enjoyed for the past 7 days (See? I have to make up completey new words!)!
The food...oh my goddess, the food! An inconceivable abundance of food! And to my delight and relief, I discovered that I didn't gain one single pound while on board! Then again...I DID go dancing every night, so I guess I burned off all the calories I consumed.
Unfortunately, I didn't get to pull at anyone since all the hot guys were taken. And w'loss, there sure were a lotta fat people on the ship!

Now, I'm back and I have to deal with all the stuff I escaped for that one magical, wonderous week: constant cleaning, cooking, miserable men in the house.

C.O.T.

I realised some things about myself on this cruise too:

*I'm a morning person (the only one I know too!). Not that I wake up early all the time, but that I can go from snoring to sunny and cheerful in 60 seconds.

*I can be quite an ice-queen when I'm ready. Someone would be being totally sweet to me, and all I can think about is how much I wish they'd go away. Callous and indifferent are the words to describe me while in "ice-queen" mode, and I hate when I get like that because it makes me feel ugly.

*I'm a hopeless romantic. I try to hide it and react with scorn to any "mushy" moments I see, whether on tv, or on the faces of the couple strolling along
the beach a few yards away, but I secretly wish I could have that romance in my life.

*I'm a big chicken. Why can't I learn to truly live my adopted motto of "Carpe Diem"? There're so many things out there I wanna do, but I don't because I'm too friggin' scared! Scared of what other people will think, scared of rejection, scared of failing. I need to get over this.

*Sometimes I like being in the limelight too, dammit. Especially when it's for something that I'm good at!

I gotta get my ass back on a cruise ship!

Yesterday was my last day at work. My coworkers got me a "goodbye" pizza! Wasn't that sweet of 'em? Actually it was my short Venezuelan supervisor's idea, which kinda makes me feel bad for not liking her. Plus she said she got me a gift....now THAT has me somewhat suspicious.

Tomorrow morning I head off to Puerto Rico to catch my cruise ship. This is gonna be off the hizzle! Hope there're some nice, single, CUTE fellas I can pull at on board!!
Heheh, and the best part is, they won't be able to run no where neida!
They're mine! All mine!!!
The point is, I probably won't be able to blog for a week. So miss me for a week.
I hope de ship don't sink!

Despite being all congested and achy, I made it to the hair salon yesterday.
That's right...I got my hair cut. It wasn't as painful as I'd imagined either!
My hair seems so much shorter now, but surprisingly, the urge to commit suicide over this is non-existent!
My hair's actually kinda cute. This won't stop me from growin' it to hell back out though.

Lesson learned: Embrace change. It ain't all bad.

I'm home with a cold. *sniffle*
Why I'se gotta get sick every two months on average? Why is MY immune system so whack and everybody else runnin' around just oozing with good health?
I eat my veggies. I excercise. I drink nuff water. I take my vitamins. I refrain from makin' out with complete strangers.
What more do they want from me??

I get colds so often, I think I'll turn pro soon. Tha's how good I am at blowing my nose. I don't even bother with painkillers or Vicks.
Those are for amateurs.
I've been through it all before, and I can take my sore throat like a woman. Swollen glands no longer phase me.
I'm a trouper.

C.O.T.
I gotta start packin' for my trip. Aaargh, what a hassle.

Last night I had a hot dream about my ballroom partner. Wonder if that had anything to do with the fact that he got kinda upset at me at practice, and was in one of his "moods" for the rest of the night...
I gotta brush up on my Freudian psychology.

C.O.T.

I've been accused of giggling too much! Wha's up with that?? If I find somethin' funny, am I s'posed to hide it? Laughter is a good thing people! It shows happiness to be alive and all that crap. PLUS it burns calories!

Love
Bashie Giggler

Well...it's my last week at work and also the last week before my cruise! Can't wait!

C.O.T.

Right, back to kissing. I gave you my worst, so now I'll give you my best.

Picture it: the middle of the night, empty (yet well-lit) beach, two friends frolicking on the sand, trying to repress their obvious attraction for each other, yet unable to resist the taboo of being alone...together.
When the "catch-me-if-you-can" childsplay subsides, the conversation turns less...innocent. It's like a dare now...adrenaline is flowing and nerves are high. We stand toe-to-toe, neither wanting to back down from the challenge. He holds my hands tells me to close my eyes. I swear he can hear my heart beating. He's so close now I can feel his warm breath on my face.
I feel intoxicated..."Now." I whisper.
And then he kisses me. So soft, and yet I feel the electricity. Only the stars witness our confession.

That was the sweetest, most chemical kiss I've ever had, and I think the high level of anticipation played a big part in that!

Aw man, when can I have some more of that?

I feel the need to get this off my chest.
As annoying as The Self-Righteous Idiot is sometimes (the only guy in my office), he IS an attractive man, and he has some sexy hands.
Now I would NEVER admit this if I thought there was a chance in hell that he would ever read my blog.
There I said it loud (cybernetically anyway).

C.O.T.

What's in a kiss?
Ade over there talkin' about de "sauce" ;-) but let's backtrack for a sec to to wha's known as first base.

Now, I love kissing. In fact, as far as I can remember, I've only had one horrible kiss (lucky me) and that was my first official one. It was all slobbery and I believe the first thing I exclaimed after he pulled away was "Ew!".
To this day I have no clue how he feels about that!

More on this topic later!

Right now I'm on SUCH a high!

I feel wicked and bright and all-mighty and OH-so right!

I feel like I have the entire island all to myself!
I feel like a sun with many, many planets in her orbit...like a goddess, even!
What the hell did they put in that yogurt?

Oh, the feeling ya get when the very one who's been acting all distant and aloof, admits that he has feelings for ya! Ha! It's like I've won!
Yes, it's a delicious feeling! It's raw power and it tastes like barbequed spare ribs!

Mwah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa!

I'm sensing a general feeling of disgust for everything feminine.

Every-so-often,ya hear somebody say "You's run/throw/fight/act like a girl!" And this is used and understood as an insult.

Why aren't masculine traits used as insults?

Even other women get in on this action. I know chicks who'll smugly remark "I don't wear skirts, da's too girly, boh!"
When did being girly become a bad thing?

It's gotten so bad that there are actually people who refuse to wear pink, a perfectly normal colour,just like any other.
Have we all been brainwashed? Where does this disdain for femininity come from?

I for one, am not gonna forsake my gender. I'm a woman, dammit, and I can be friggin' girly if I blasted-well want to!

Right now I feel like being a bitch. Like my aura has become a poisonous purple-black cloud.
I feel like being very cruel to someone, and I have to try very hard right now NOT to be cruel to those who are around the most, yet deserve it the least.

Apparently it helps to write about it, because even as I type these words, I can feel that oppressive black cloud dissipating...giving way to a peaceful, translucent green aura.
I'm feeling better already.

C.O.T.

How does one determine "Who You Are"? One measure by which I define who someone is is by what they do...how they live their life.

How then, do you forgive someone who has basically lied to you about how they've been living their life for the last 5 years? Do you really even know that person after all?
How do you feel when you discover that, all along, someone you trust had more in common with those people whom you trust about as far as you can throw?
Betrayed, disgusted and confused, that's how.

Rats, I feel that purple-black "bitch" cloud coming back again.

Low Point Of The Day or Possibly The Week:

The car driving in front of me on the way to work this morning, hit a dog. The poor thing ran off, yelping in pain and it looked like one hind leg was broken. I felt so sorry for him/her, and I think the driver was shaken too, because he drove under 40 kmph for the rest of the time we were behind him.

Now I have no clue what to do in these situations...Ade, Shelly, if y'all are reading, advise me...
Should we have tried to take the stray to the R.S.P.C.A.? I've heard that injured dogs tend to snap at approaching strangers. Would the R.S.P.C.A. come and pick up the dog if someone called and reported it?
I just don't know.

It's been a couple days since Grand Kadooment....and I think I'm gonna be ok.
People, I'm afraid I almost DID "brek off muh waist"! I tell ya, that jump-up was so long and tiring! I'm definately not as young as I used to be.

I have to work tomorrow....
tomorrow which is Emancipation Day...for which the whole concept is to NOT WORK!!
Unbelievable.
They wanted me to work on August 4th too, but my brays of raucous laughter drowned out any attempt to pursue that issue. At least I get to be comfortable....Daanz sings "In Those Jeans".

C.O.T.
I figured out a way to satisfy my cookie urgies and avoid feeling guilty. See, what I do, is get the cookies andshare them with whoever is in my vicinity! That way, I spread around the calories! Ingenious, huh?

C.O.T.
The coolest guy I've ever known has left me and gone back overseas. :(
I told him I'd miss him...that's the first time I've ever told anyone of the opposite sex that and meant it so thoroughly.
That's gotta count for SOMEthing.
:'(

Yet another hype weekend!
Bus tour all Saturday and BoatYard all Saturnight (Thanx 2 Lani for this rather appropriate word).
Man, I wukked up like I've never wukked up before...I have a bruise on my knee to show for it too, yuh. Can you say "battle scar"? I've officially been named a Pooch Back Girl by the authorities on the subject! Whoah yeah.

As with everything, this bashment weekend had it's downside too, and with that I bring to you:

Things That Annoy Me Crop Over 2003 Edition:

1.) That people feel the need to ask "Wait, you ain' bade??" if they catch you with your wrist band from a fete the night before (or even the week before). They're plastic now people! You can bathe with them on!

2.) Those neanderthals who pelt garbage from their cars into the beautiful St. Joseph countryside. And then, if you point out the error of their ways, they cuss you! Animals! Tha's how people get lock up, cuz I would have happily shot each of them in face.

3.) Men who can't seem bend their minds around the fact that I do not want to dance with them!

4.) People who reason that I'm in their way when all I'm doin' is sittin' on de hill like everybody else!

5.) When de fella I got designs on gets drunk. Of what use is a drunk man to me? No hip coordination...not able to recognise that I'm flirting with him...not able to recognise me, period, come to think of it!

*Sigh*

Ahhh, people there ain't nothin' like a good sandwich, hear? Yes, sandwiches are one-a my favourite foods and I'm gonna list my top Sandwich Spots around the island.

If you're lookin' for a:
1.)Ham 'n' cheese sub- try New York Pizza. Simply Scrumptious!
2.)Mince meat sub- Pizza Man Doc is the ONLY place to go!
3.)Chicken sub- Head to Kristoff's in The Old Spirit Bond. You can TASTE the love in it! *Note: love often comes in the form of mayonnaise. :)
4.) Brie & roasted eggplant sub (mango chutney optional)- Run, don't walk, to THe Lunch Club. It's 'bout 10 minutes from Lester Vaughn (the school, not the guy).
5.) Cheeseburger- Get thine ass to Mustor's, in McGregor St., B'town! I cannot stress how orgasmic these cheesburgers are! And $5 for a good lunch sweetens the deal!

Thank me later.

I'm so silly. Why was I so worried yesterday? Everything turned out ok.
Disappointment only lasted 24 hours, and by golly, I got what I wanted afterall!
Next time, I'm just gonna chill out and not get so wound up over nothing!

Aw man...I'm in "puppy mode" again: deliriously happy! Lacking some serious sleep, but still happy!

Silly, crazy and feeling loved!

Last night I was Disappointed.
Y'know, you never realise how much you were looking forward to something until you can't have/do it.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this Disappointment was what disrupted my sleep pattern last night (went to bed early and woke up late), and is also why I'm feeling pensive and dismal right now.
Why am I so worried? The opportunity'll come again, right?

Aw man...my weekend was just....fabulous. I wish all my weekends could follow in the footsteps of the one that just past.
It was so good, I can't even blog about it. How wierd is that?

Highlight of The Day

I JUST gave our DHL guy a kiss for his birthday.
Never mind his birthday was at the end of June.
Woo!

It’s a dreary, soggy scene on the outside today, and I’m afraid my mood is reflective of the weather. Sometimes I get horribly tired of listening to other people talk. They just go on and on, and it’s so tiresome trying to pick the useful information from what seems like endless blather.

C.O.T.
Update on my hair situation: I tried to put my hair in thousands last night, but I could only manage the front part of my head by myself and my mother refused to help me do the back. Why is she doing this to me? If she loved me, she’d do my hair!
Anyhow, so no-one in the office has said anything about my drastically different hairstyle today. I take that to be a bad sign. Schuupes, cyan please nobody.

C.O.T.
Right now I feel like the poorest woman in the world that I have no-one to soothe my aching shoulders with a pair of strong hands and some warm almond oil.
Woe is me.

That's IT! I have GOT to do something with my hair!
My co-workers told me today that I look like an old lady, and the reason for this, is that I wear my hair too severely!
And the fact that my mother has been telling me the same thing for months in an effort to get me to straighten my hair, only adds to my distress!

Well THAT is just not an option. The day I straighten my hair is the day I've lost hope and given up the battle.
Time for me to explore more exotic hair options....nubian knots....flat twists...."thousands" ....maybe even, dare I say it....extentions?
What the hell, bring on the bright blonde "boxy duster" braids! Bare bashment, boy! (Say that 10 times fast!)

You only live once!

I got a little practice with my future partner Shane last night at ballroom. It's so funny how dancing is the same as any other kind of relationship:
each of us needs to get accustomed to how the other moves.
We have to feel comfortable with each other, and there needs to be chemistry and some kind of connection which shows up in the dance.
I got work to do!

C.O.T.
Being yourself can be highly over-rated sometimes. Yes, there ARE things about my personality I'd like to change, but dammit, it takes a strong person to change one's nature and I dunno if I'm that strong.

I just wish I were:
Iron-willed
More affectionate
Open
Motivated
Less diplomatic
Able to escape my own inhibitions
Compassionate
Hungrier for knowledge

I repeat, I got work to do!

Here's the story:

I've been receiving unwanted advances from a bouncer at a certain night spot, and of course I turned him down, but I guess I hadn't made myself clear enough, because he kept buggin' me! So I told him I'd just been through a terrible breakup (not THAT far from the truth), and I wasn't looking to get into anything new.
He seemed to buy that, but THEN, everytime he caught me out, it was
"So you get ova he yet?" or "So when de two-a we gine do dis ting?"
The man just does not stop!

Well, I had had enough of this, so last Thursday I told 'im I was seeing someone (again, not a COMPLETE lie. Heck, I see people everyday, right?).
Brother took it harder than I thought he would!

He started tellin' me about how he though he was, and I qoute, "de next in line" , and how disappointed he was and askin' me, how I could do that to him.

Well...colour me flabbergasted!

I had no clue that Mr. Bouncer Man and I were on dat sorta level. And where did he get the idea that I promised myself to him?
Which raises another question: Was it me? Should I have been more direct?
Should I have said the words
"I am not interested in pursuing any kind of relationship with you, not now, not EVER!" right up front?
That seems so harsh to me.

Sorry 'bout my insensitivity girls, here's the address : www.adiamondisforever.com
Tried to paste the URL but it wasn't workin' out.
Oh well, have fun!


C.O.T.: No. 1 Thing That Irked Me This Week
Those "attention-junkie" type-a chicks.

Yes, I say chicks, because I haven't met any men like this (yet?).
They seem to go out of their way to make everyone (especially males) in their vicinity focus on them, to the point where they become obnoxious, over-bearing, and/or downright pathetic.
They don't know the meaning of the phrases "play it cool" or "Hol' it down."

I thought this kinda thing ended with the completion of puberty!

I know everyone likes some degree of attention, but must they take it to the level where they become bitchy to anyone (usually female) who threatens to steal their "spotlight"?

A friend sent me a link to a website, this morning, on which you can design your own engagement ring, and God help me I tried to resist clicking on it, but to no avail.
Not only did I check out the site, but I ended up designing a kickass platinum engagement ring with a teardrop centre stone and trillion (triangular) side stones!
And I surprised myself by enjoying it!

Why do I entertain such naïve fantasies?

And now, I present to you this week's edition of...

Things I Really Really Wanna Know

Why is it such a common belief that one can catch a cold from getting rained on?
Why, I used to run 'bout in de rain nuff in my youth, playin' up in de mud and ting, and I never catch nuttin' yet! Schuupes.

Why is it that when I'm behaving like a perfectly sane human being, and trying to get everyone's attention to ask a serious, pertinent question, nobody's be listenin' to me, but WHENEVER I lose concentration and start doin' those stupid little things that ya only do when ya sure no-one's looking (e.g. making faces at your reflection in your cup of coffee) EVERYONE catches me?


Why is it that "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate is missing from the song lists of so many karaoke operators?

Why is it that people insist on speaking to me about cars and rallies when I have never given them ANY indication that I give two wukkups about those topics?

Why is it that our short, annoying Venezuelan supervisor keeps buzzing around my desk and interrupting me when I'm trying to blog?


More to come, I'm sure.

I know I should be in bed about now...but I just don't feel like sleeping.

I feel the need to remind everyone that reads this blog, that you never really know anyone.

You may THINK you know someone, but trust me, ya don't! You're only just getting the tip of the iceberg.

Still feeling somewhat isolated..like I'm in some kinda bubble, floating along, only hearing the muffled voices from the outside world through my protective bubble wall.
Or lost away on some desert island, far away from the effects of modern civilisation.
It's the wierdest feeling.

It's official...I always had a feeling, but now I know for sure...
I am abnormal.
Anyone trying to cheer me up will beg to differ...but it stands to reason that if one does not fit in with what is usual, or the norm, then one is not normal and can therefore be called abnormal.
As far as I can tell, I think I'm pretty much alone and that's a scary feeling. :( No-one wants to be alone.
Don't have a choice but to get used to it though.

C.O.T.
Went to my first Band fete for the season, (and my first fete period in a couple months) last night. I tellya, it was nice to get out after a hiatus and see peops and share out nuff hugs and kisses.
Especially cool to see my friend Rolly back in de land. How is it possible to feel such affection for a member of the opposite sex and it still be platonic? De man just irie so.

So far, as a relatively new cellphone owner I've received 4 wrong numbers. If anyone should happen to know the following people, please let them know that I got their calls:

*Mrs. Grovesnor
*Crystal
*Anthony
*Soldier

I've also received a txt msg from an unidentified person to let me know that
"nobody ain't home by Mama."

C.O.T.

Here are a few of my favourite things (not necessarily in this order):

Ultra sheer black stockings
Barbequed spare ribs
Crisp white sheets
Puppies
Short pants fetes
Cookies 'n'Creme icecream
Long, slow (unexpected or otherwise) smooches
The beach on a balmy full-moon night
Palmers cocoa butter
Pina coladas from Cafe Sol
Seeing a scary movie with my best friend
Back (or tummy) rubs

More to come! :)

This new Blogger format is definately gonna take some gettin' used to.

C.O.T.
Yesterday on the van home, this guy struck up a conversation with me. Ordinarily, I woulda tried to ignore any fella that tried that, but his approach seemed so sincere and non-threatening that I couldn't help but relax and just enjoy our chat. The ride seemed so much shorter.

C.O.T.
Something's been bothering me recently about The Mouth (the non-stop talker in our office). She's Guyanese Indian and she uses the word "nigger" occasionally in her stories.
I keep tellin' myself that I shouldn't be bothered by this because she refers to herself and her countrymen as "coolies", but dammit, it DOES bother me.
Even I don't call my own people "niggers", so why should anybody else? Am I being too sensitive? I don't think this debate will ever end.

C.O.T.
There's a birthday today in the office, and we all had wine and cheesecake! Yup, I love this place! If there're any typos in this blog (I haven't bothered to check) it's because I'm on a chardonnay high.
Tee-hee!

C.O.T.
I think I now qualify for the title of Most "C.O.T.'s" In One Blog

I've already told a couple peops about my new-found admiration for a certain pop star, but I've decided to make an official blog about it!

The other day my darling brother downloaded Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty" video....and I dunno, it must be my young, impressionable mind, but I absolutely love it!!
I mean I liked the song before, but good lord, the video! That looks like MY kinda party!
Like I told Kerry, I need me some red panties!! Some chaps wouldn't hurt either!

My quads are killin' me from practicin' that winey "stripper-dip" move she does (ting look SO tough!), but I'm happy to say, that I think I finally have it down!
Yay me!

Signed
Pole-dancer-in-training

Why has my comments section been "Closed For Maintenance" for what seems like a week?
I miss hearing from everybody!
I feel isolated.
No woman is an island...even though sometimes I like to think I could be...I too, need people!

What the hell?
Y'mean I can't miss a day of blogging without the Blogger Authorities changin' the whole setup? Dammit, it's all blue and wierd now. How's a gal s'pposed to get the writing juices flowing?

C.O.T.
Awright...I am NOT gonna make one of those generalised, unfair statements about men...but cheezonbread, it'll be hard.

Why is it that a fella will act like he's into you, and then as soon as he's got your attention, and you've discovered your attraction for him, he does a complete 180?!?!
Here you are, silly naive girl, thinkin' everything's goin' fabulously, and then "he" pulls that whole "distant", "one-word-answer", "not-even-trying-to-carry-on-a-conversation" crap! All in an effort to indirectly tell you he's no longer interested, and drive you away.

Why, dear Lord, why? Do they know that this confuses and hurts? I mean, they MUST know, they're human too and we all hurt the same, right? I wonder sometimes.

But y'know what? I'm not gonna let this upset me!
I'll move on, no fuss, no muss.
I'm on the road to becoming an Ice-Queen.

Okay, I've decided that catchin' a van home isn't that bad afterall.

The Pros:
1.) I have more control over what time I get home, as opposed to when I have to wait for a ride.
2.) I'm doing my part to reduce carbon monoxide fumes produced on a daily basis.
3.) My mum will spend less on gas since she won't have to battle rush-hour Bridgetown traffic.
4.) I feel somewhat closer to my fellow Bajans (except that guy who was pickin' his nose yesterday).
and most important:
5.) I do some of my best thinking while riding in a van! I had forgotten all about that!
See, I'm usually the last person to get off and I tellya, if I'm in a window seat...it's like I relinquish all control and just let myself be driven...
The feel of the wind against my face and the drone of the engine seems to put me into this zen-like state of deep thought....my mind wanders...and I feel like I'm on the verge finding out the meaning of life itself...
Even the potholes and the lack of shocks don't disturb my serenity of mind, body and spirit.

Eventually, I'm disrupted by someone barking " Ey yow brownin'! Part you gettin' off? Listen, wake she dey fa muh!"

I seemed to have snapped out've my funk...at least temporarily.
I was actually singing and dancing as usual around the office. Yee-ha!

Y'know, I've discovered at least ONE positive thing about our short Venezuelan supervisor's presence in this office:
my sense of hearing has become sharper since she's come here!

I’ve trained myself to listen very carefully for the muffled “flip-flop” of her mules against the linoleum as she approaches from behind (wonder if I can be considered "X-men" material now...).
This is necessary to avoid gettin' caught while doin' something I'm not s'posed to be doin'...like blogging for example.
Oh, but how I love doing things that get on her nerves! I know it's wrong, but I can't help it! My Part B is showing!

C.O.T.
Does it make me a bad person if I think The Greatest Love Of All by Whitney Houston is a corny song?

Right now I'm feelin' kinda sorry for myself.

This sucks because I KNOW damn well that this is a useless emotion, and yet, I can't snap out of it.
Rix can never be mine, and I just have to live with that.
Man, I hate life. In fact, I hate everything. I'm miserable and I think I'll go to bed early. The least I can do is get a good night's sleep.

Blah.

I'm being referred to, in this office, as Daana "No-man" Linton. What the %$#*& is up with that??? Even the short Venezuelan "supervisor" givin' me heat!
Just cuz I don't constantly tie up the phone line talkin' to a significant other....
Just cuz I don't get flowers or fruit basket deliveries around here...

I gine take up obeah lessons JUST to smite a pox on ALL of 'em!!

I think our short Venezuelan supervisor is trying to ply me with cookies.
It's not going to work though. Yeah sure, if she offers me some Oreos, I'll take 'em, but that doesn't mean I'll like her any better!

Daana the Cookie Whore signing out.

It's been a while since I've caught a van from the River Road van stand all the way home, but I caught one yesterday evening.
Well, I guess I've been spoilt by all these years of havin' a car at my immediate disposal because I dunno if I can take that van-catching thing everyday!

Here's the run-down:
I get to the van stand: there're only TWO Route 11 vans there (there used to be whole fleet last time I checked)!
I squish into the 2nd van, and it turns out I have to sit on one-a the auxiliary fold-out seats because the short, obnoxious conductor decides there's room for a tall, German (or were they Dutch?) couple in this van.
At one point, I had to sit among some schoolboys (which I dreaded) and I tried to do so as gracefuly as possible but the van lurched off and I plopped down nearly right on top of the poor guy! I mumbled my apology and that's when I noticed his friend smiling and looking at me in what I'm sure he thought was a "Sexy Dappa" gaze. 0_0
I quickly turned my attention to the scenery flying by outside.

And then, it started to rain.
I tellya, if any one person had SARS in there, all-a we would haffi dead!

I'm just not sure I'm comfortable with the high levels of intimacy you're forced to develop with complete strangers aboard these things.

This blog probably just upped my "Bouje Factor" by a good a setta points.

Is it just me, or is Father's Day kind of a chore?
Maybe it's just cuz MY father is so hard to shop for!
And he never uses anything we get him!
And he never likes what we cook for him!

C.O.T.

Awright, I'm confused. I just don't know what to do with myself.

Every day, I'm getting to know this guy Rix (short for Lyrics, a nickname which he earned from me ) a little better...and I'm liking him more and more! He's just surprising me, and impressing me at every turn.
The guy decided he'll no longer read my blog because he thinks I need my privacy. I was stunned. I never expected that. It's just so far removed from one of my many mottos:
"If it's out in public, I have every right to look/eavesdrop!"
Of course, he could just be frontin', meanwhile readin' every blasted word I type! But then, I couldn't complain....this IS a public site!
So I guess I have a license to write anything I want about him now.



Whatever happens, I promise myself I will NOT get caught up! If that happens, it's all over. I'll have no respect for myself.
I'll leave that for other people. I pride myself on my ability to remain somewhat distant.

Listen to me tryin' to convince myself!

I'm sittin' here, at home on a Saturday night. I have no desire to party right now. I only wanna do one thing, but there ain't no "cookies" around, darn it.

Y'know, you really gotta be careful who you let into your world of blogging. I find it's much easier to be honest if you know that you won't have to see your blog-readers on a regular basis!

I just love this song.

The Weakness In Me - Joan Armatrading
I'm not the sort of person
Who falls
In and quickly out of love
But to you I gave my affection
Right from the start

I have a lover
Who loves me
How could I break such a heart
Yet still you get my attention

Why do you come here
When you know I've got trouble enough
Why do you call me
When you know I can't answer the phone

Make me lie
When I don't want to
And make someone else
Some kind of an unknowing fool
You make me stay
When I should not
Are you so strong
Or is all the weakness in me

Why do you come here
And pretend to be just passing by
When I mean to see you
And I mean to hold you
Tightly

Feeling guilty
Worried
Waking from tormented sleep
This old love has me bound
But the new love cuts deep

If I choose now
I'll lose out
One of you has to fall
And I need you
And you

I'm woman enough to admit when I'm wrong and boy, was I humbled. I thought I knew what was goin' on, but it was ME who was in the dark.
One of my mottos is "You can learn something from everyone", but I guess I forgot.
My bad... hope I won't be punished for it!

Lesson For Today: Don't underestimate that person sittin' over there...they can probably teach you a thing or two!

What the hell am I gonna do with you Rix? :) Don't go gettin' a swollen head now!

C.O.T.
I feel good.
I knew that I would now.
I feel nice
Just like sugar and spice

It's funny how sweet words from the right fella can melt a gal's cool, aloof exterior that she tries so hard to maintain.
Unfortunately, I think men know this too.
I mean, they're ONLY words and every girl is reminded by her mother at some point that "talk is cheap" ....
But then, when he tells her that she's beautiful, or that he's hers for the taking,... it does something to her, despite all her common sense. She falters...she thinks "Maybe..."

C.O.T.
How did he know I needed to be held like that?

It's venting time!

Oh, how I want to throttle our short Venezuelan supervisor! She's not even a supervisor, she's a #&*$@ babysitter! She doesn't know ANYTHING about my job, and she thinks SHE'S supposed to watch over ME? Bullshit!!
Always, she is calling me "Day-eena, watt eez thees?" "Day-eena, watt eez that?" And always in her annoying, whiny Venezuelan voice!

It gets so bad that I think I could handle goin' to jail for assault, as long as it keeps MY name outa HER goddamned mouth!
And since when did everybody in this office become her personal assistants? I didn't get that memo!
Tryin' to stress me out to arrange her rassole hair-salon appointments!
And you'd THINK by now she'd know how to send a fax! Or load paper into the copier! Dumb bitch!

Woo, I think I feel a little better now.

I don't think I like single women very much. No offence to all you out there, of course, since I fall into this category too.

It's just that I can't help feeling that we're all like a pack of vultures (I dunno but "flock" didn't seem appropriate)...just waiting for some weak fella to slip up so we can pounce on him and feast on his remains.
And like vultures, we'll fight each other for what we think is the best piece of meat. It's tragic.

I don't think I'm any better either.
If I have my sights set on a certain fella and some other chick pushes herself all up in his personal space, I too, get that primal urge to protect my territory!
It's not often, but yes, I start picturing myself running over, rendering her immobile in a full nelson, and screaming
"Step off, bitch!! What! What!"
I've never actually done anything like that but I'm not proud of myself for even thinking it.

C.O.T.
You always hear about sugar highs...but my god, they never tell you about the sugar lows. I just had one setta chocolate fudge ( that cookie ain't never around when you need it), and now I feel like I've hit the deepest, darkest pit of desperation...I feel like I need a shot of caffeine...straight to the bloodstream.
Where's my %*#@ syringe?

We won!!!!

My partner-for-now, Mark, and I won our division of the latin competition last night! Yes man, we ruled.
First thing he said to me after the competition was " Now, you're no longer my problem!" He really knows how to make a gal feel special.

So now, I gotta get used to my future partner, Shane. This'll be rather interesting since in the latin dances you have to execute a good many....ahem...suggestive (to put it nicely) moves.
Did I mention Shane is 16? He's cool though and a real sweetie, so I have a feeling I'll get over any shyness pretty soon!

C.O.T.

I know I've been blogging a lot about self-restraint recently, but I've realised that this a quality that I admire so much. Lemme paint a scenario:

Here you have this cookie.
(the word "man" may be substituted for the word "cookie", if it applies to you)
Now, you know very well you're not s'posed to have this cookie, (this cookie is especially bad for you)
but the cookie is just there for the taking and if you're quiet enough, you can actually hear it calling to you.
By now, you want that cookie so bad, and you think to yourself,
"It's only a cookie...what harm could there POSSIBLY be in me havin' this cookie??"

But what you need to consider, is that that cookie might belong to someone else! And you can't just go around eating other people's cookies!
Or maybe the cookie isn't quite baked enough, and could use some more time in the oven before it's ready for eating!

Anyhow, here's where the iron-will comes in handy. Even though all you really wanna do is tear the wrapping off the cookie and lick off all the creamy filling,
it'd be so admirable if you could rise above and beyond your natural human cumpulsion and just say,
"No, I will NOT have this cookie!" and go and look for a carrot instead.

It's officially Saturday. My 2nd latin competition will begin in about 21 hours. I just wanna get this one over with so I can relax.

I'm a Blogger Without A Cause today.
Why? Because I felt like blogging but I have no point.
I'll probably just ramble aimlessly along, jumping from one train of thought to the other, much like a butterfly in a flower garden.

Again, I find myself giving up much-needed sleep in favour of other, less productive, yet way more enjoyable activities. Why do I do this to myself?

What do you do when faced with an undeniable temptation? Do you cave or do you resist with every fibre of your being?
Will you be strong, do the right thing, be a shining example of an iron will?
Or will you crumble, and partake in that guilty pleasure that you crave?
I guess it all depends on the consequences of caving...e.g.if anyone'll get hurt, if it'll turn out okay in the long run, if cheescake is involved...that kind of thing.
I like to think I'm pretty strong-willed, but I'm only foolin' myself.
I'm weak, dammit. I don't WANNA resist! And like I said before, self-deprivation is cruel!

Today I was taken out to lunch...and broken up with!
The wierd part was that the guy and I weren't actually together in the first place!
The guy's whole reasoning is that it makes no sense for him to even pursue me, because if I were to respond to his advances , I would become too great a temptation for him to stray away from his Christian ideals! And so, he "dun wid me"!

Well, now that I'm re-telling the story, I don't know whether to be flattered or offended!!
But I tellya, at the time, I just thought it was hilarious x 10! I laughed and I laughed. Right there in the middle of Ideal Restaurant, 2nd floor Cave Shepherd.

And that right there, was the highlight of my day so far.

Well! So far, today has been quite an interesting day for me. I'm not the only one who feels the need for confession these days.

How do some people get the nerve to confess their attraction for that person who makes their aura swirl? HOW, I ask? Especially if that person appears out of reach (you get 10 more points Rix, JUST for that!).
I think it's beyond me for the time being. However, I want you all to bear witness as I make this oath:

I, Daana Naolat Linton, hereby solemnly swear that before I draw my last breath,
I will find the courage to confess to the object of my affection at any given point in time,
that I dig his stuff.

There. Now I have to do it or I'll be struck down by lightning.
The threat of a horrible death is always an effective motivator.

Y'know, I make an effort to be all "zen" and not let the little, insignificant problems in life get to me, but sometimes I slip up and I get so frustrated at utter nonsense!
For example: my hair!!

Sometimes it's cool. It generally does what I want it to do, no problems or anything.
And then, suddenly, with NO provocation, it rises up against me!!
I tellya, it's like a &%$@#! mutiny on top my head!!
And to be perfectly honest, a little dirt goes a long way when it comes to keeping my hair under control.
Right after I wash it, it gets on like a runaway slave!
It's here, there, and EVERYwhere, like it's tryin' to jump right off my scalp!
I can't count the number of times I've resisted the urge to grab up a knife,
(not a scissors, a knife! Because I've wanted to hurt it like it has hurt me!) and just slash it all right off!

My own mother will give me no sympathy. Her solution to my every hair drama is "Straighten it to rass!"
Not in those exact words, but you get the point. I think I almost caught her trying to put a tape player with the theme music from a "Dark & Lovely" commercial, under my pillow.
Her unwillingness to accept my hair in it's natural state is exasperating.

C.O.T.
I dunno why I keep letting these delivery guys stress me out. Yesterday the postman (who has an extremely sexy voice I must say) indicated that he thought I was 30!!! He was SO surprised when he learned I was in fact 23.
Of course this put a serious damper on my otherwise chipper mood.
I told my Mum about it and she tried her best to comfort me:

"It's your hairdo.", she said. "It's too severe. I think you should straighten it."

I'm so unbelievably happy today! I feel like a puppy with a rawhide bone! I feel like skipping down Broad Street and swinging on the lamp posts!! This is absolutely ridiculous. I need to just hold it down. But I can't, I just can't!
Even now, as I sit in the frozen tundra of my office, I can't feel the cold.
It can't penetrate my warm, happy pink-orange aura today!

I woke up this afternoon feeling like an old woman. I was stiff and groggy as if hung-over. I worked HARD for the whole of the last week, and I felt it ALL when I got up!

The much-anticipated Ball was last night, and even though we frigged up a couple times, I still think we rocked the house!!

C.O.T.

Time for another captivating episode of "Confession Corner" with your host, me!

I've developed a dislike for someone who I shouldn't have.
I'm forced to be in this person's presence for a little while and it would REALLY help if I could stand him!

And, just to balance things out, I've developed a little crush on somebody who I shouldn't have!
And I can't even tell my best friend
about it because:
a.) she'd just sigh in exasperation, figuring I'm goin' through a phase, and more important,
b.) she left the island.

The best thing for me to do is just push the whole crush thing outa my head because it's as far-fetched as it gets.

Okay, I feel a little better now.

Even though I have a cold, here I am at work.
I am such a trouper.
Due to an excess of phlegm, my voice has taken on the husky, sultry tone of a cafe jazz-singer.
I think I like it.
I feel like putting on a sexy evening gown and heading to the nearest karaoke jam session.
Chaaa, I think I'd rock the joint! Or at least spread my cold germs to everybody in the place!

I have a cold again. This is the 3rd in 5 months. I need a good dose of sleep, but unfortunately I'm at work.
If this blog makes no sense, it's mostly because I'm doped up on cold medicine.

I'm fighting off a stress attack here. Here's why:

1. My dance studio is holding a ball in 5 days in which I am performing.
2. There's a competition in 11 days in which I am competing.
3. My seamstress hasn't STARTED making my costumes yet.
4. My quickstep routine seems to be undanceable for some reason.
5. I've sustained an injury to my toe, and for the life of me, I can't recall how!
6.Lately, I seem to be living out of a suitcase because of all the practice sessions.
7.My bedroom is a jungle of crumpled clothes, fitness aids and miscellaneous junk.
8. I see no hope of redemption from this chaos for at least 2 more weeks

I need a frescante espresso.

I hate trying on clothes, especially in the presence of skinny people!

Why is it that my brother can sit on his ass all day long, eat NAFF food and somehow manage to lose 3 lbs,
while I have been bustin' my butt with rigourous dance routines for the last month and a half, all the while eating food with little fat, sugar, salt AND taste, and I've friggin'-well GAINED 1 lb?!?!
This is bull-shit. SOMEbody's gonna pay for this.

C.O.T.
I've come to the conclusion that self-deprivation is cruel. When one starts depriving oneself of desired objects or experiences, a kind of tension builds up inside, and it's just not healthy!
I dunno about anybody else, but when I find myself in this situation, I feel like my whole aura is thrown into a state of discord!
I change from being my own best friend, to a harsh "Enforcer"...someone who always says "No, you can't!" or "No, you shouldn't!
One can't live like that.
So my advice to anyone, is not to deny yourself those little pleasures we all crave, just have them in moderation!

However, if you find pleasure in stabbing people, I'm sorry, but you really should give that up altogether.

Like a plantation owner to a slave, ballroom owns me right now!
Whassup with these twice a day rehearsals? I mean, I DO have a life outside of ballroom...don't I? I can't remember anymore.
All de talk, I'm gonna miss all the group practice when it's over!

C.O.T.
The last minutes of Saturday are draining away as I type this...I'm about to go out feting, and honestly...I'm tired!
Why do I do this to myself??? My body is pleading with me for sleep and I'm cruelly ignoring its pitiful cries. Why? Because right now, I'm lookin' DAMN foine, and I can't deprive all those hot boys out there, of all-a dis!!
Off I go!

Today is the anniversary of my Granny's death.
I'm not goin' to turn this into a festival of tears and mourning though. Instead, I'll celebrate her life, remember the lessons she taught me (eg. "Never be jealous of anyone Daan, because you don't know what problems they have")
and be glad that I got the chance to let her know that she was a role model of mine.

C.O.T.
Beach yesterday was cool. Let's work the "point form" thing, shall we?

*Witnessed (for the first time in my life) a beach wedding! It was beautiful.
Among the other impromtu wedding guests were a few
known
bloggers
!

*Daana The Lagger made an appearance again. There I was, in the presence of a gorgeous, NICE young man, and I make NO effort to find out if he's taken, if he wants my #, if he'll gimme his...etc.
Yeah, yeah, I know I gotta get over this shy thing, but doesn't make any sense my beatin' myself up about it, cuz I get quarrel wid enough from other people
!
I'm not too worried though, I'll see 'im again.
I hope.

C.O.T.
I have now joined the Proud CellPhone Owners club. Only I'm not exactly proud. In fact, I feel a bit like a sell out (a cell out, even!).
Everybody else seems so much more excited about MY cell phone than I do.
Bizarre

Yesterday I had a few personal triumphs I'd like to share:

1.)I somehow managed to survive on a single packet of "Batchelor's Slim-A-Soup" instant soup for lunch (Corn 'n' Chicken flavour for the curious),
2.) I turned down free cheesecake, and
3.)after work, I changed into my sneakers and speed-walked all the way from the office to my 2nd home, (Broad Street to the Gymnasium).
Yup, I felt SO good with myself, that for dinner, I celebrated with two pieces of Chefette chicken, smothered in bbq sauce.
Oh well.
On a positive note, I've realised that my new favourite condiment is barbeque sauce. "Hickory-smoked" to be specific.

Daana's Workout Tip for Today:
When in doubt, do 50 crunches.
Never underestimate the power of the crunch, people! A couple situps never killed anybody!

C.O.T.
Here's an update on the DHL guy situation:
we're right back at square one! He's regressed to his usual "not-acknowledging-Daana's-presence" condition!
My Goddess, doesn't a kiss mean anything anymore???
Y'know what, I think he must be somewhat intimidated by me....after careful consideration, I don't think there could be any other possible explanation! I mean, the man jokes around with EVERYBODY in here except me! One question keeps popping into my head: Is he crazy??

I can't believe I've had 3 blogs on him already. How many blogs does it take for it to count as an obsession?

Without any further ado, I present the most recent addition to my blogging circle,
ladies and gentlemen....
my best friend
!
Hope that link works.

I feel like I'm emerging from my coccoon of melancholy now, thank Shaniqua.

I think it has something to do with this Frank Sinatra & Tommy Dorsey cd that we have playing in the office.
It's weird, this music is so old, the kinda stuff my Granddad would tap his feet to,...but, wonder of wonders, I think I like it!
It has a soothing effect on me. It makes me think back to the days when it only cost a nickel to see a movie (in black and white of course), and kids actually used to dance to real music, instead of convulse like an epileptic to all this senseless noise....

What the hell am I talking about?? I gettin' on like I experience dis ting firsthand!
But I couldn't have,... could I?

Here I am. I'm still down.
At least I have ballroom this evening to cheer me up.

Apparently, I'm the type of chick to whom fellas only confess their admiration for, when they're drunk.
Is it the beer goggle effect or what? This is not a comforting thought.
I swear, I'm gonna stop going out altogether for all the good it does me.
If I feel like dancing, I'll dance in my room.
If I feel like drinking, I'll mix my own damn piña coladas.
I have a family who loves me, so I'll just hang with them.

Blah.

Despite the fact that's it's Friday, I find myself on the verge of melancholy, and this time I'm not sure why.
I'm usually good at figuring out WHY I'm in a bad mood and this helps me to snap out of it...but this time...

Slight C.O.T.
Why must I be so mindful of of others' feelings before I speak?
Why can't I learn to cut with a sharp tongue when the urge hits me?
If someone hurts me, why can't I let myself make them hurt like I do?
.....
I just went over to the window and looked out. It's raining, and there's an old woman standing barefoot on the sidewalk with all her things in 3 plastic bags.
Makes me realise that
a.) I'm young, warm and dry,
b.)I really don't have ANY problems and
c.)that I should quit my whining and cheer the %$@* up.

Only now, I feel worse than ever.


.

Yesterday was a gooood day!!
What with all the presents and the not-so-surprise birthday cake from my coworkers (I had to bring my own candles, but that's cool).
And thanks for the b'day wishes, all you bloggers!

But the REAL highlight of the day was when I made the DHL guy (the one who doesn't really talk to me)
give me a birthday kiss!!!
Never mind I had to give him some cake and the kiss was only on the cheek, it was still a very soft, sweet kiss. I wouldn't mind another couple. :)

Go, go, go, go, go Daanie,
It's my birthday!
Yup, today, it really IS all about me!!!
The Attention-Seeker pointed out that I should be getting flowers delivered to the office, and be taken out to lunch and all that. Schuuups, I refuse to let her make me feel bad. I'll just go out and get my OWN damn flowers and lunch!

C.O.T.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, one of my favourite songs right now....

Fever For The Flava - Hot Action Cop

Do you think that I can get some chickie chickie
Maybe gets a little finga sticky sticky
You my electrical lip balm flava
I gotta do ya until the next song saves ya
And can I get a little zip zip lookie lookie
Can I get a little uh uh nookie nookie
Hey whatcha say, it doesn’t matter anyway
You won’t do another ’cause you’re getting with me

She got the power of the hootchie
I got the fever for the flava of the cootchie
And did I mention, hey pay attention
Gonna take that bootie to the nudie dimension
I got the green glow under my car
I got the boom boom system you can hear real far

[Chorus]
Oh hey hey hey hey hey hey oh pretty pretty shy whoap
Oh hey hey hey hey hey hey oh pretty pretty fly whoap
What do I have to say to get inside girl what do I have to say

Can I get a little yum, yum kitty kitty
Just a little sumthin sumthin itty bitty
Do you wanna get triple x groovie
Gimme gimme some of that kinda movie
And let me spin ya like a record wicky wicky
Let me get you butt naked licky licky
Here we go yo here’s the scenario
Gonna strip you down like a car in the barrio

Ya got the power of the hootchie
I got the fever for the flava of the cootchie
I’m your lovey dovey bedtime playa
Call me the super sexy boogie man slayer
I got the green glow under my car
I got the boom boom system you can hear real far

[Repeat Chorus]
I got the fever for the flava of a cootchie
Yo hey ma yo hey ma yo hey mamama hootchie
I got the fever for the flava of the cootchie
Yo hey ma yo hey ma yo hey mamama hootchie
Whoap Whoap Go!
Do you think that I can get some chickie chickie
Maybe gets a little finga sticky sticky
You wanna suck it like a bong hit wacky
You gotta be my First Lady Jackie

She got the power of the hootchie
I got the fever for the flava of the cootchie
Let’s party hardy and rock n’ roll
We drink Bacardi and smoke a bowl
I got the green glow under my car
I got the boom boom system you can hear real far

[Repeat Chorus]
I got the fever for the flava of the cootchie
Yo hey ma yo hey ma yo hey mamama hootchie
I got the fever for the flava of the cootchie
Yo hey ma yo hey ma yo hey mamama hootchie
Whoap Whoap Go!

I wouldn't call myself a slack or dirty-minded person by any means, but I find myself likin' a lotta wutless songs these days!!
Could it be a sign from my "inner dib"?

Quote Of The Week:
I don't like de colour brown unless it's lipstick or skin.- Some girl on Broad Street.

I believe I have perfected the art of good listening.
Through the use of various facial expressions and well-placed "uh-huh's" I can make just about anyone believe that:
1.) I am paying attention to what they are saying,
2.)I am interested in what they are saying,
and 3.) I understand what they are saying.

These skills come in quite handy when cornered by The Mouth (the otherwise nice woman who works in this office, and who will just not shut up!).


C.O.T.
I've been eating a lotta crap lately. I know I shouldn't but I just can't seem to make myself associate lettuce with ANYTHING good!

And now, here's a simple dessert recipe for
Creme Caramel

Ya gine need: 1 can evap. milk
1 can condensed milk
4 eggs
3 tbsp of sugar
Melt de suger in a big ol' glass dish in a oven set at 325. Doan let de suga burn on pun de dish doh!
While de sugar meltin', mix togedda de milks and de eggs.
Once de sugar dun melt, pour in de egg an' milk mixture, and put 'um back in de oven fuh 'bout a hour.
Check it every 15 minutes or so to mek sure 'um doan burn.
Enjoy!

*This Martha Stewart moment brought to you by Naolat Productions*

What the heck is up with all the baby fever around me?
I went to dinner at family friends' house Saturday night, and there were three youngish couples there.
Among them all, they had 1 toddler, 2 young babies, and 2 buns in the oven! Of course, for the duration of the night, the topics of conversation never strayed very far from teething, baby formula, midnight feedings, etc.
I tried hard not to have any personal contact with them lest I catch the dreaded "breed bug" tha's goin' around.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure if that worked, cuz yesterday, while preparing the whole chicken for Mothers' Day lunch, I caught myself holding it under the armpits (or is it wingpits?) and bouncing it, much in the same way one would bounce a giggling baby!
Someone help me.

C.O.T.
Confession time again people. At the same dinner on Saturday night, there was a man to whom I found myself very attracted.
Here's the kicker: He was in his late thirties and balding. Definately not a classic example of male beauty.
As if that wasn't bad enough, he was a member of the afore-mentioned "Go Forth and Multiply" club (GOFAM.).
*Sigh* I dunno what's wrong with me these days.
On retrospect, I think I'm gonna look on the bright side of this. I should be proud of myself, dammit!
This shows that I'm developing a more varied taste in men (either that or SOMEbody wukkin' some obeah pun me).
Too bad his baby girl and pregnant wife were there.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding!!!

Ouside Woman No.1 signing out.

Awright, I'm-a do this in point form today.

*Anyone who says they don't like chocolate just hasn't found the right form of chocolate!
I used to one of those people.

*Some girl was handing out pink carnations for Mother's Day, and she gave me one. This was a bright spot in my day, only to be outdone by....

*....the"Cute Fed-Ex Guy" sighting in the corridor of our building. Our conversation was much longer this time since it mostly consisted of him teasing me about said Mothers' Day carnation.
Slowly but surely, I'm winning him over!

I've been posting comments to other people's blogs for the last 2 days and they just won't appear in the comments window!
Was there a unanimous decision to put me on "block" status or something?

C.O.T.
Pantyhose is an evil, evil thing.
It was produced by Satan himself, to cause chaos and turmoil in the lives of women (and some men).

I swear, if ya find the colour you want (sheer black), they'll be too frigging short and the crotch will only go as far up as the middle of your thigh!

If you find a pair long enough, they'll start to bag and sag at the ankles by about noon!

If then you find a pair that actually fits you perfectly, they'll cost $424.99, and they'll get a run in them for no reason whatsoever, as soon as you put them on!

THEN, if you're lucky enough to find a pair in your colour, that fits you perfectly, that's reasonably-priced, that by the grace of The Almighty you manage to put on without running them,...
somewhere, somehow, a vicious stray cat will find your ass and rip them to shreds!!
Schuupes, animal rights my big toe! That flea-ridden varmint messed with the wrong chick this time though.
May the R.S.P.C.A. never find the bones.

Guess what I discovered while getting ready for work this morning....wait for it....wait for it.....a grey hair! Me!
I've always wanted two streaks of white hair on either side of my head and it looks like I may be on my way to getting it!
Or maybe I'll just go white all over, like Storm.
Crawl would like that, I'm sure.
This is by far the most exciting thing that's happened to me all week!
Except for yesterday when the weird old janitor in our office winked at me...twice. I wish he wouldn't do that.

Why is it that whenever I go to the bank, behind me in the queue, there will always be a crusty, wierd old man who mutters to himself and insists on invading my personal space? It never fails.
I swear there must be a Crusty Old Men's Association (officially known as C.O.M.A.) that monitors my movements and sends one of their operatives into the bank behind me, with the sole purpose of making me uncomfortable!

Our DHL guy refuses to speak to me.
He jokes and chats with everyone in here except the Iyah.
In the group "Employees Who Sit In Full View Of The Door", I've been working here the longest, so ya would THINK he'd be more familiar with me! Even when he calls the office on the phone, he askes to speak to someone else JUST to ask if our package is ready to send off! What is his problem?
I don't even know why this bothers me so much.

All of a sudden, I find mutants sexy. Especially if they have dark blue skin, and tantalizing yellow eyes.
Crawl, if you ever read this, I love you baby! You turn me on in ways I never thought possible! I don't care that you only have a total of 6 fingers...it's not what you got, it's how you USE it!

C.O.T.
I don't like to cook.
I've been denying this to myself for the longest while, for fear that all the fellas I know will roll their eyes and put me in the category they like to call
"These 90's/New-Age/Femenist Women"
I know deep down that I should cook from time to time, but I realise that I don't like to do it mostly because my father keeps telling me that I have to cook, and he's sexist.
Yet another mental block I need to get over.

C.O.T.
I hate how people look at me when they find out I've never been in love. Their whole attitude changes to one of pity and condescension.
Fart on on all of them!