This here blog is dedicated to my baby: Colin Farrell.

Last night I watched Phone Booth and I was reminded of why he is the apple of my eye, my snookums, my boo...
1.) He's absolutely gorgeous
2.) He can actually act.


The very first time I laid eyes on this man (Minority Report) I knew it was love, and I knew I'd never look at another man the same way again!
Those sexy eyebrows...those eyes...that hair....that accent...normally I'm not attracted to a pottymouth, but I can definately make an exception with this Irish boy.

Yummy.

I used to be one of those people who used to think that honesty is the best policy in a relationship...that you should always be open, that you should be free with your heart, and give it willingly and fully, cuz that's the only way to truly feel alive.
I can't remember which movie brainwashed me into believing that bullshit and I can't remember exactly when I stopped being so naive.

What do you do when someone gives you their heart, pours out their feelings to you so openly, exposing their vulnerability to you ? I'll admit, these days everyone else is so guarded, bitter and jaded, that this display of honesty and naivety caught me off-guard. I'm feeling a little over-whelmed.
Doesn't he know how easy it is to get hurt?
Doesn't he realise that you have to protect yourself above all?

If someone told me 5 years ago that I'd be sayin' these things, I woulda called 'em a "big ol' meanie", and run off crying.
Now, I say NEVER let 'em know how much you really care! NEVER let 'em know the whole story.

:(

Okay, so I'm back from my cruise....and I'm suffering from SEVERE Post Cruise Depression (PCD)!
There just aren't words to describe the absolute magnificentocity that I enjoyed for the past 7 days (See? I have to make up completey new words!)!
The food...oh my goddess, the food! An inconceivable abundance of food! And to my delight and relief, I discovered that I didn't gain one single pound while on board! Then again...I DID go dancing every night, so I guess I burned off all the calories I consumed.
Unfortunately, I didn't get to pull at anyone since all the hot guys were taken. And w'loss, there sure were a lotta fat people on the ship!

Now, I'm back and I have to deal with all the stuff I escaped for that one magical, wonderous week: constant cleaning, cooking, miserable men in the house.

C.O.T.

I realised some things about myself on this cruise too:

*I'm a morning person (the only one I know too!). Not that I wake up early all the time, but that I can go from snoring to sunny and cheerful in 60 seconds.

*I can be quite an ice-queen when I'm ready. Someone would be being totally sweet to me, and all I can think about is how much I wish they'd go away. Callous and indifferent are the words to describe me while in "ice-queen" mode, and I hate when I get like that because it makes me feel ugly.

*I'm a hopeless romantic. I try to hide it and react with scorn to any "mushy" moments I see, whether on tv, or on the faces of the couple strolling along
the beach a few yards away, but I secretly wish I could have that romance in my life.

*I'm a big chicken. Why can't I learn to truly live my adopted motto of "Carpe Diem"? There're so many things out there I wanna do, but I don't because I'm too friggin' scared! Scared of what other people will think, scared of rejection, scared of failing. I need to get over this.

*Sometimes I like being in the limelight too, dammit. Especially when it's for something that I'm good at!

I gotta get my ass back on a cruise ship!

Yesterday was my last day at work. My coworkers got me a "goodbye" pizza! Wasn't that sweet of 'em? Actually it was my short Venezuelan supervisor's idea, which kinda makes me feel bad for not liking her. Plus she said she got me a gift....now THAT has me somewhat suspicious.

Tomorrow morning I head off to Puerto Rico to catch my cruise ship. This is gonna be off the hizzle! Hope there're some nice, single, CUTE fellas I can pull at on board!!
Heheh, and the best part is, they won't be able to run no where neida!
They're mine! All mine!!!
The point is, I probably won't be able to blog for a week. So miss me for a week.
I hope de ship don't sink!

Despite being all congested and achy, I made it to the hair salon yesterday.
That's right...I got my hair cut. It wasn't as painful as I'd imagined either!
My hair seems so much shorter now, but surprisingly, the urge to commit suicide over this is non-existent!
My hair's actually kinda cute. This won't stop me from growin' it to hell back out though.

Lesson learned: Embrace change. It ain't all bad.

I'm home with a cold. *sniffle*
Why I'se gotta get sick every two months on average? Why is MY immune system so whack and everybody else runnin' around just oozing with good health?
I eat my veggies. I excercise. I drink nuff water. I take my vitamins. I refrain from makin' out with complete strangers.
What more do they want from me??

I get colds so often, I think I'll turn pro soon. Tha's how good I am at blowing my nose. I don't even bother with painkillers or Vicks.
Those are for amateurs.
I've been through it all before, and I can take my sore throat like a woman. Swollen glands no longer phase me.
I'm a trouper.

C.O.T.
I gotta start packin' for my trip. Aaargh, what a hassle.

Last night I had a hot dream about my ballroom partner. Wonder if that had anything to do with the fact that he got kinda upset at me at practice, and was in one of his "moods" for the rest of the night...
I gotta brush up on my Freudian psychology.

C.O.T.

I've been accused of giggling too much! Wha's up with that?? If I find somethin' funny, am I s'posed to hide it? Laughter is a good thing people! It shows happiness to be alive and all that crap. PLUS it burns calories!

Love
Bashie Giggler

Well...it's my last week at work and also the last week before my cruise! Can't wait!

C.O.T.

Right, back to kissing. I gave you my worst, so now I'll give you my best.

Picture it: the middle of the night, empty (yet well-lit) beach, two friends frolicking on the sand, trying to repress their obvious attraction for each other, yet unable to resist the taboo of being alone...together.
When the "catch-me-if-you-can" childsplay subsides, the conversation turns less...innocent. It's like a dare now...adrenaline is flowing and nerves are high. We stand toe-to-toe, neither wanting to back down from the challenge. He holds my hands tells me to close my eyes. I swear he can hear my heart beating. He's so close now I can feel his warm breath on my face.
I feel intoxicated..."Now." I whisper.
And then he kisses me. So soft, and yet I feel the electricity. Only the stars witness our confession.

That was the sweetest, most chemical kiss I've ever had, and I think the high level of anticipation played a big part in that!

Aw man, when can I have some more of that?

I feel the need to get this off my chest.
As annoying as The Self-Righteous Idiot is sometimes (the only guy in my office), he IS an attractive man, and he has some sexy hands.
Now I would NEVER admit this if I thought there was a chance in hell that he would ever read my blog.
There I said it loud (cybernetically anyway).

C.O.T.

What's in a kiss?
Ade over there talkin' about de "sauce" ;-) but let's backtrack for a sec to to wha's known as first base.

Now, I love kissing. In fact, as far as I can remember, I've only had one horrible kiss (lucky me) and that was my first official one. It was all slobbery and I believe the first thing I exclaimed after he pulled away was "Ew!".
To this day I have no clue how he feels about that!

More on this topic later!

Right now I'm on SUCH a high!

I feel wicked and bright and all-mighty and OH-so right!

I feel like I have the entire island all to myself!
I feel like a sun with many, many planets in her orbit...like a goddess, even!
What the hell did they put in that yogurt?

Oh, the feeling ya get when the very one who's been acting all distant and aloof, admits that he has feelings for ya! Ha! It's like I've won!
Yes, it's a delicious feeling! It's raw power and it tastes like barbequed spare ribs!

Mwah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa!

I'm sensing a general feeling of disgust for everything feminine.

Every-so-often,ya hear somebody say "You's run/throw/fight/act like a girl!" And this is used and understood as an insult.

Why aren't masculine traits used as insults?

Even other women get in on this action. I know chicks who'll smugly remark "I don't wear skirts, da's too girly, boh!"
When did being girly become a bad thing?

It's gotten so bad that there are actually people who refuse to wear pink, a perfectly normal colour,just like any other.
Have we all been brainwashed? Where does this disdain for femininity come from?

I for one, am not gonna forsake my gender. I'm a woman, dammit, and I can be friggin' girly if I blasted-well want to!

Right now I feel like being a bitch. Like my aura has become a poisonous purple-black cloud.
I feel like being very cruel to someone, and I have to try very hard right now NOT to be cruel to those who are around the most, yet deserve it the least.

Apparently it helps to write about it, because even as I type these words, I can feel that oppressive black cloud dissipating...giving way to a peaceful, translucent green aura.
I'm feeling better already.

C.O.T.

How does one determine "Who You Are"? One measure by which I define who someone is is by what they do...how they live their life.

How then, do you forgive someone who has basically lied to you about how they've been living their life for the last 5 years? Do you really even know that person after all?
How do you feel when you discover that, all along, someone you trust had more in common with those people whom you trust about as far as you can throw?
Betrayed, disgusted and confused, that's how.

Rats, I feel that purple-black "bitch" cloud coming back again.

Low Point Of The Day or Possibly The Week:

The car driving in front of me on the way to work this morning, hit a dog. The poor thing ran off, yelping in pain and it looked like one hind leg was broken. I felt so sorry for him/her, and I think the driver was shaken too, because he drove under 40 kmph for the rest of the time we were behind him.

Now I have no clue what to do in these situations...Ade, Shelly, if y'all are reading, advise me...
Should we have tried to take the stray to the R.S.P.C.A.? I've heard that injured dogs tend to snap at approaching strangers. Would the R.S.P.C.A. come and pick up the dog if someone called and reported it?
I just don't know.

It's been a couple days since Grand Kadooment....and I think I'm gonna be ok.
People, I'm afraid I almost DID "brek off muh waist"! I tell ya, that jump-up was so long and tiring! I'm definately not as young as I used to be.

I have to work tomorrow....
tomorrow which is Emancipation Day...for which the whole concept is to NOT WORK!!
Unbelievable.
They wanted me to work on August 4th too, but my brays of raucous laughter drowned out any attempt to pursue that issue. At least I get to be comfortable....Daanz sings "In Those Jeans".

C.O.T.
I figured out a way to satisfy my cookie urgies and avoid feeling guilty. See, what I do, is get the cookies andshare them with whoever is in my vicinity! That way, I spread around the calories! Ingenious, huh?

C.O.T.
The coolest guy I've ever known has left me and gone back overseas. :(
I told him I'd miss him...that's the first time I've ever told anyone of the opposite sex that and meant it so thoroughly.
That's gotta count for SOMEthing.
:'(

Yet another hype weekend!
Bus tour all Saturday and BoatYard all Saturnight (Thanx 2 Lani for this rather appropriate word).
Man, I wukked up like I've never wukked up before...I have a bruise on my knee to show for it too, yuh. Can you say "battle scar"? I've officially been named a Pooch Back Girl by the authorities on the subject! Whoah yeah.

As with everything, this bashment weekend had it's downside too, and with that I bring to you:

Things That Annoy Me Crop Over 2003 Edition:

1.) That people feel the need to ask "Wait, you ain' bade??" if they catch you with your wrist band from a fete the night before (or even the week before). They're plastic now people! You can bathe with them on!

2.) Those neanderthals who pelt garbage from their cars into the beautiful St. Joseph countryside. And then, if you point out the error of their ways, they cuss you! Animals! Tha's how people get lock up, cuz I would have happily shot each of them in face.

3.) Men who can't seem bend their minds around the fact that I do not want to dance with them!

4.) People who reason that I'm in their way when all I'm doin' is sittin' on de hill like everybody else!

5.) When de fella I got designs on gets drunk. Of what use is a drunk man to me? No hip coordination...not able to recognise that I'm flirting with him...not able to recognise me, period, come to think of it!

*Sigh*

Ahhh, people there ain't nothin' like a good sandwich, hear? Yes, sandwiches are one-a my favourite foods and I'm gonna list my top Sandwich Spots around the island.

If you're lookin' for a:
1.)Ham 'n' cheese sub- try New York Pizza. Simply Scrumptious!
2.)Mince meat sub- Pizza Man Doc is the ONLY place to go!
3.)Chicken sub- Head to Kristoff's in The Old Spirit Bond. You can TASTE the love in it! *Note: love often comes in the form of mayonnaise. :)
4.) Brie & roasted eggplant sub (mango chutney optional)- Run, don't walk, to THe Lunch Club. It's 'bout 10 minutes from Lester Vaughn (the school, not the guy).
5.) Cheeseburger- Get thine ass to Mustor's, in McGregor St., B'town! I cannot stress how orgasmic these cheesburgers are! And $5 for a good lunch sweetens the deal!

Thank me later.

I'm so silly. Why was I so worried yesterday? Everything turned out ok.
Disappointment only lasted 24 hours, and by golly, I got what I wanted afterall!
Next time, I'm just gonna chill out and not get so wound up over nothing!

Aw man...I'm in "puppy mode" again: deliriously happy! Lacking some serious sleep, but still happy!

Silly, crazy and feeling loved!

Last night I was Disappointed.
Y'know, you never realise how much you were looking forward to something until you can't have/do it.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this Disappointment was what disrupted my sleep pattern last night (went to bed early and woke up late), and is also why I'm feeling pensive and dismal right now.
Why am I so worried? The opportunity'll come again, right?

Aw man...my weekend was just....fabulous. I wish all my weekends could follow in the footsteps of the one that just past.
It was so good, I can't even blog about it. How wierd is that?