And here we are! The first day of 2005! It didn't start out much like my fantasy, but hey, at least none of my loved ones were swept away by a tsunami either
No matter what, I can't complain, because compared to what's goin' on in Asia, my Old Year's was fabulous. Remember the Indonesian posse and the Thai crew, in your prayers.

The Midnight New Year's kiss has eluded me yet again, but my new reasoning is that midnight comes around every 24hrs, so I'll have at least 30 more opportunities this month to make up for it.

There're certain party poopers out there who don't even bother to make resolutions, claiming they never stick to 'em, so there's no point. Me, I love making new year's resolutions, and really putting in the effort to keep to them all year long, in my quest for personal growth.

My resolutions:

1.) Embrace change. Yeah, I'll admit, I'm one-a those peops who likes stability and constance. But things change, such is life, so it's best to have a good attitude about it.

2.) No more centipedes. Take this any way you want.

3.) No more Batman. And I won't stand for any bets being made on how long I'll last with this one.

4.) Make that first head-nod greeting when I cross paths with one-a those people whom I kind of know, but for no reason in particular, don't speak to. When I think about it, it makes more sense to at least acknowledge each other presence than to sail past like ships in the dark.

And here we are...the last day of 2004. Time for me to take a deep breath and embrace two-kay-five. Unfortunately it's looking like I won't be ringing in the new year in my ideal fashion, so I'll take this opportunity to blog about....

My Fantasy Old Year's Night

Picture it: St. Lawrence Gap, the street is alive with merry-makers, tourists and locals alike, everyone is buzzing on the Old Year's excitement.
Or maybe it's the 2-for-1 tequila shots from Cafe Sol.

Le Groove has reunited and is performing in McBrides, while Krossfyah is set to rock at Ship Inn.

Everyone I know and love to party with is at one bar or another in the gap. I'm reunited with all my main girls and we're reminiscing over our past school day shennanigans while sipping blueberry margaritas.

After stopping in every bar along the road, we end up in Ship Inn, to boogie until it's countdown time.

Guess who's there too...Batman!
Of course, I ignore him completely until he comes over and speaks. We exchange the customary "hi, how are you's", and then I give him the cold shoulder he deserves. My girls can't believe my noncholance.

Seems like he's finally come to his senses, but I couldn't care less.
He eventually grows a spine and comes over to ask me to dance. I think to myself "Oh, what the hell...it's Old year's night.", and I let him put his arms around me. And so we dance, and it's nice, like I always figured it would be. What the hell was he running from all this time?
The music stops and it's 15 seconds 'til the start of 2005!
Everyone's counting down, and I'm pretending not to notice that he hasn't moved away from me.

It's 12 o'clock now and everyone shouts "Happy New Year!!" I ignore him and hug my friends. A chorus of Auld Lang Syne starts up, and I pretend to finally notice him. I go to hug him and he steals a New Year's kiss....right on the lips. What a nerve. He's obviously drunk.

He pulls away , and looks at me like I might try to slap him. I really should. Instead, I pull in close to whisper to him, my hands sliding around the back of his neck, my lips grazing his ear,

"You snooze, you lose. Have a nice life guy."


And then I party on 'til sunrise with my girls!

The End!

Cha....I'd have to be made of stone to pull that off!

Well, I'm feeling a heckuva lot jollier now, thank Emily. Ready to spread joy and goodwill and all that.
Which I DID to some extent, at BoatYard last night. Ahhhhh, felt good to be among so many familiar faces, every one dancing and having a ball.

But I have one question for the fellas out there. Please, if you're male and your reading this...PLEASE lend me some insight to the workings of the masculine brain on this:

Why in the name of all that makes sense, would you say you're attracted to a girl, then spend the whole night avoiding her?
Please...I really need some opinions on this. I need to start the new year off with a clear head.
Help a sistah out here guys.

There goes my Christmas and boxing day and since I'd rather not say anything bad about those two days, I won't blog about 'em.
I just gotta start taking that saying "It's only as good as you make it", more seriously. In fact, I'll probably add that to my list of New Year's resolutions.

C.O.T.

I generally don't have drama in my life. When I encounter drama, it's usually someone else's drama that somehow touches me. If I'm gonna be upset, at least let it be my own drama that upsets me. Or wait, maybe I don't know what I'm asking for.

C.O.T.
Whenever I'm about to suh'in not quite "proper" but bound to be fun I hear a little voice telling me it's not the right thing to do. It's my conscience, it's annoying as hell, and it sounds a lot like my parents.
Hey, maybe I'll add that on to my resolutions: Ignore the voices cuz everybody's bound to do things that their parents won't necessarily approve of at some time.

C.O.T.
How can people be so open with their maliciousness and their triflingness? I mean, even if your intentions are less than pristine, at least try to hide it so other people won't know you for the scoundrel you are!

It's Christmas Eve...and I gotta say I'm not that happy about it. Except that it'll all be over soon. I'm usually not such a scrooge, but this year I really feel like my Christmas has been stolen from me. It almost means nothing to me right now, and THAT is tragic.

I was working all day today, finally reached back home around 7pm. I'm coming down with a cold now too. Ain't that some shit. And THEN at 9pm, my crazy parents decided they wanted to do a complete house-cleaning. And of course start ranting and raving at whoever is less than thrilled to join in. Namely me.
I wanted to send Xmas cards to the neighbors , and make sorrel, and ponche de creme, and cookies and all that, but all I did was work.
I want my Christmas back. I wanna spread some joy and goodwill to my fellow man.

And, as usual, I'm having my end-of-year personal freak-out session, where I panic at how fast the year has gone by, and in turn how fast my life is going by, and what scary changes the coming year will bring.
These episodes don't last long, but they're intense while they're going on.

I hope this Theraflu kicks in soon.

C.O.T.

On a brighter (and wierder) note, I inadvertently flirted with a female security guard the other day, and she hooked me up by speeding me through a long-ass line in the grocery store the other day. Hope she doesn't think I'm batting for the other team too.

Why is that everyone around here seems to have this innate fear of centipedes? Is it a Bajan thing? Bees sting hard too, but we don't shudder at the thought of bees like we do centipedes, right? Maybe it's because there're all those cutesy little phrases about bees: there's "busy as a bee", "mind your own beeswax" and my personal favourite "the birds and the bees".

In the bank line yesterday, an old lady came across a 4", live centipede in her purse. Now THAT was the most exciting thing that happened all day! I coulda sworn she was gonna have a heart attack with all that hopping around she did. She was pretty agile though. The guy behind her came to her (and everybody else's in the line) rescue and stomped it into centipede juice with his timburlands. Who says chivalry is dead.

C.O.T.

Batman seems to be giving me a green light again. I dunno if I should take the bait. Maybe I'll just pretend to take the bait, and torture him instead. He certainly deserves it.

I officially hate hook-ups.

It's always embarrassing to have your friends play a role in your romantic life, especially when they insinuate that you're useless when it comes to the opposite sex. Hook-ups make me feel pressured and nervous, like I owe it to somebody to make this guy fall for me.

So what happened last night WASN'T on my Top Ten Best Dating Experiences list.

The date was made on Wednesday, for the movies Friday night, and I won't lie, I felt fussy! I was looking forward to it like my next barbequed spare rib. He seemed calm, quiet...on the shy side. And he was fine. I was willing to give him a chance to compensate for being a smoker. One movie couldn't hurt, right?

Last night I took extra care to look cute without looking like I tried to, and I set out to meet him.
I was on my way to a lovely evening I told myself cheerfully, so imagine how loud the sound was, of my bubble bursting, when my girl called to say he wasn't coming and she didn't know why.

So I called him up of course, handling both my cel and the steering wheel in a risky move. Long story short, he freaked out, said he didn't want to put himself in a position where a serious relationship was a possibility, and made plans to go with some other woman to Harbour Lights instead.
There I was being all nervous, and I didn't even get the chance to show that I can be a safe kinda chick to hang with. He didn't even bother to call me himself....I would have gone done there and waited around for him like a total idiot. I feel like screaming just thinking about it.

But hey, it's okay because he said he was sorry. Jerk.

Big ups to Lani for having my back so I wouldn't have to spend the night at home moping.

I finally got to use the "weekend for two" at the Plum Tree Resort, which I won in a dance competition. Don't mind I didn't have a significant other to make up the "two", I went just the same!
Right after I checked in, I decided to meander around to the pool area. I was just leaving to go meet some friends for a movie, when I noticed someone trying to get my attention.
I turned around, there was a well-muscled youth, clad only in swim-trunks, striding quickly up to me.
Wow, I thought, I LOVE this place!
Turns out "Dave" had been looking high and low for any guests his age since the average person around there was 80 plus. Unfortunately, he was leaving the next day, and I was leaving right then to go see a blasted movie. Curses.

Saturday afternoon, I made sure I found myself in the pool. Of course I was the only one. If it's one thing I noticed about the old folk there, they never actually go INTO the water...they just sit AROUND it....for hours even. Like ancient wildebeest at a croc-infested watering hole.
Maybe they knew something I didn't.

Fast Forward to Saturday Night.
I can't believe I let 'em coerce me into goin' to Club Xtreme. Every time I think about it, spending $40 to party just seems more and more insane. Drinks free or not. I especially have a problem with paying to have my lungs polluted, since every other person in there is puffing on a damn cigarrette, the foolish goats.

I absolutely HATE it when you start checkin' for a fella, and then find out he's one of THEM. A smoker.
I tellya, one can go crazy agonising over whether to throw away one's principles and overlook that one flaw, in favour of (to use Govie's phrase) "the hotness".

It's only the second week of December, but I already feel like I'm slowly being pa-rumpa-pum-pummed to death. And not in a good way either *wink wink*

I really do want to get into the spirit of Xmas, but I guess it's kinda hard when you work in field that profits directly from the exploitation of the season.

Maybe it's up to me to do more to get into the swing of things...insteada just waiting for it to happen to me.

I oughta get a posse together and go out carolling...
I oughta invite peops over for some puncha crema and ham cutters...
I oughta work harder at popularising a Bajan version of mistletoe.

Boy would that come in handy.

What a week.
The stupid computer in the office has taken the printer's lead, and has joined in the quest to drive me bonkers.
Translation: no logging on during the day to distract me from actually working. Bummer.

My weeknights had been commandeered by rehearsals for a group performance for The NIFCA Gala Awards ceremony.
It was a great experience working with dancers from the other genres.

I'll especially miss *Marla, the spunky redhead, who ate all my Eclipse, and accidentally mooned me at point-blank range, and *Isaac, the obviously homosexual young dancer, who, in one number, was made to perform bareback against his will. Oh, how I love to watch him wine.

*Names have been changed to protect the identities of the individuals.

C.O.T.

Well, he finally confessed why he's been treating me like shit for the last 3 or so weeks, after I had to pretty much drag it out of him, that is.
Here I was thinking that he had problems at home....here I was, worrying that something might be really wrong.
Why had he been so moody and distant, I asked....
"Because," he finally replied, "I ainno, you's just annoy me sometimes."

The anger didn't settle in right away. But now it has.
Who the ass does he think he is? I put up with his crap for so long, refraining from cussing him out, even though he really and truly deserved it, was actually WORRIED about the boy, for him to come and tell me, that he was acting like a punk because I annoy him???
Is he for real??? Like he doesn't annoy the snot outa me at times!
Why de france he couldn't be upfront about it? He could either tell me what's buggin' him, or get the hell over it, but don't sulk and gimme stink looks every time I ask him to dance!
Schuuuupes.
Why is this so hard?

I'm confessing openly and without shame: I am a heightist.

Yes, I discriminate against short people! Mostly in the form of overlooking (hey, what an unexpected pun) short guys as romantic interests. Well, actually, I kinda had something against short girls too. You know...those petite nuisances that sneak in below your line of vision, and make moves on your man. Kinda like those ankle-biter dogs. No offence to any short girls out there, of course (please don't band together and try to take me out or anything).

Back to the men.
Yeah, I'll admit, I mostly check for the taller dudes, but I realise that there're some under - 5'7" cuties about the place that are perfectly able to sign up for cookie-duty, so to speak.

So, while I can't say that I'm totally open to all heights yet, I can at least say that I'm seeking reform.

They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

I so bloody vex right now! What is the fuckin' point of makin' a reservation if even de rasshole general manager ain' gun take it seriously???? Good thing I'm a local and not a tourist cuz then I'd be homeless right now!!! And even the man at de desk was no fuckin' help! He musse was de guard or suh'in cuz de man had NO sorta manners!!!
I was SO looking forward to some peace and quiet this weekend!!! Some rasshole solitude!!!! Is that too much to ask????
I feel like a caged animal in a crowded zoo!!!!

They say everything happens for a reason, but that is the LAST thing I wanna hear right now, because THIS IS BARE SHITE!!

The other day during an online conversation I was called "random as hell" .
I was flabbergasted.
Good thing it was a cyber chat, because my snort of indignation was anything but ladylike.
Of all the things to call me!
Random, am I? As hell , he says?!?!?!
Well, goddammit, he has no idea just how random I can be!

Let the randomness fly!!!

C.O.T.

In the next 2-3 weeks, there're so many cultural events, but so little money:

• The CSME Stars (Elephant & Bunji) concert . (Yes, I consider this to be a cultural event, and hell yes, I gun be dere)
• The Traditional Japanese Taiko Drummers concert. (I don't really know what a taiko drummer is, but it sounds pretty groovy).
• The "Just Dance" dance show (Lani's in this show, but I'd go regardless cus this is my thang!)

C.O.T.

I'm gonna start giving any potential flam material that comes my way, superhero/villain nicknames. That being said, Person B shall now be known as "Dr. Octopus" (and, henceforth the beautiful young man who haunted me all summer shall be referred to as "Batman", in case I feel the need to blog about him sometime in the future) !

Well, it seems like the Doc doesn't understand the meaning of the words "I don't think we should see each other any more. " Here's where the power of telepathy would be more useful to him than those tentacles of his.

C.O.T.

Looks like my plan to eleminate white bread from my household has succeded! 10 points for healthy living! My father is still clinging stubbornly to his whole milk though, and my brother refuses to eat the cauliflower. These skinny people think they're so superior.
I won't give up.

C.O.T.

Dealing with toenail injuries obviously gets better with practice, cuz this one has been a breeze. I rather enjoy flapping the loosened toenail up and down, like the jaws of a tiny little puppet, to gross out anyone who'll pay attention.



How's THAT for @#$%& random!

From time to time, you get urges, ...and you mostly fight them since you know in your heart that to go through with 'em would be absolutely ludicrous, but occasionally, you get weak and you give in, the whole time saying to yourself
"This is crazy...this is just crazy. You better not let anyone know about this, cuz then they'll know just how crazy you really are."

So today's motto is:

Occasionally let yourself follow the madness within. Just don't tell anybody.

C.O.T.

I could use some chocolate chip cookies about now.

Now here's where this blogsite gets a little R-rated.

I used consider myself to be a pretty open-minded kinda girl, y'know, hip to modern-day protocol and all that, but recently I've realised that when it comes to discussing sex and anything sexual, I can be pretty uptight, depending on my company. Actually, it's not the fact that sex is discussed, but more so how it's discussed, that gets to me.

No matter whose company I'm in, I just am NOT comfortable saying certain things in raw, "gutter" terminology. When I'm in a discussion with a potential flam, or mixed company, I find myself definately making an effort to phrase things as delicately and politely as possible, even though it's clear that the other person/people in the discussion won't be offended.
I tend to say things like
" gettin' down to business (wink wink)..."
" well-endowed"
"been around the block a few times"
" in a position where certain things are accessible (more winks)"

And I never use parts of the anatomy as cusswords. Well...at least not the fun parts. (Heheh, just had an image of someone hollaring "You! You's a real bubby!" Was too funny not to share.)

The funny thing is, when anyone else around me spits out a graphic description, I actually pretend to be cool, like it didn't startle me, but I can almost feel myself start to blush.

I've heard "Daana, it's ok y'know, you can say it." a good few times in my life. Mostly from males. Why is that?


Did I say this was gonna be R-rated? *Sigh* I've done it again. This was PG-13 at best.

Oh my.
I'm absolutely, postively smitten by that rapper T.I. My heart skips a beat and my breath catches in my throat when I catch even the smallest glimpse of him on BET.

Anyone who can guess why I'm so taken with this particular rapper, gets a Menta Cristal breath mint (they're really good).

Hint: It's a really pathetic reason. Hey, may as well let others benefit from my dotishness.

Note: Lani is not allowed to participate in this game.

One summary of my weekend, comin' right up!

Friday's Highs:

• The surprise b'day shindig we had for my partner's mum. I just LOVE surprise parties!

Friday's Lows:

• The cold shoulder I detected from my partner.

Saturday's Highs:

• My mid-morning workout. Ah yes, I felt the burn.
• I had an empty house to myself for the day. Sweet solitude, how I cherish thee.
• The girls' nite. We ate, we laughed and we boogied. And come to think of it, we didn't talk about men as much I thought we would've.

Saturday's Lows:

• My mid-afternoon nap was interrupted by the mad dash I was forced to make in order to save the laundry from getting soaked by a sudden shower. Of course, as soon as I managed to get every piece of clothing safely indoors, it stopped raining.

Sunday's Highs:

• All the gorgeous dresses I got to pose in for a photoshoot. Who woulda thought I looked decent in mint green?
• The fabulous gold, "gih-tuh-muh" shoes I acquired!

Sunday's Lows:

• Still need to lose 20 lbs. *Sigh*
• Got my toenail lifted from my toe, again, in a ballroom incident. Very painful. I saw stars. And blood.
• More of the cold shoulder from my partner. AND I detected a smirk of amusement on his face at my unfortunate toe drama.
• Overheard him saying to someone that he ain' entering Strictly Latin 2005. So....I ain' nuhbody? Don't I deserve a discussion, or an explanation at least? What de ass I do to de boy?

Y'know...I don't really trust anyone who doesn't like dessert.

It's all good if you limit it in a bid to be healthy, but to avoid it because you just don't LIKE it?? I'll never understand that one.

The minute I hear someone say "Oh, I don't much go for sweets." I immediately (and maybe wrongly, I'll admit) make a character assessment.

In my eyes, that person looks uptight, and unhappy, as if their inner child has died a tragic death long ago.
All at once ,they seem too serious, and secretive. They seem all closed in, like they don't want you to really know them.


Or maybe it's just my imagination.

Can anybody tell my why:

• Royal Bank won't accept one $5 money bag of pennies, but WILL accept two $2.5o bags? They have money bags there, don't they? They know how to count, don't they? Why the ass they just can't pour half of de $5 bag out into another bag, and poof! They get their two precious, blasted $2.50 bags of pennies! It's not higher math.
• Nobody seems to know how to manualy rotate the ink cartridge wheel on this @#%$ printer? It's like we have the only Konica Minolta 2300W laser printer in the world.
• Whenever I answer the phone at my Grandad's house, it's for the maid,who acts like I'm her personal answering service, and then when I insist that she answers the phone herself, it's for me?

Shane and I dominated last night! Yup, won BOTH our categories! Raaaaaaaarrrrr!

I wore a hairpiece (for the 1st time in my life) for the latin section. I whip my head about fairly vigourously for these dances and I prayed to the donkey-hair gods that it wouldn't go flying off. And it didn't! I gotta say, I can see why we women like to wear these things! I felt fussy enough!

I would just like to go on record as saying that that drink Red Bull...tha's a serious drink there boy. I had one before we performed, and I just could NOT stop fidgeting during the wait. Maybe it was a nerves/caffeine combo, but I definately felt the high.

And now on to something that isn't sitting too well with me:

Person B, as I expected, made up exuses not to come to the competition.

It "isn't really my thing" he said.
"Oh, but we're not even in a serious relationship that you'd be offended, right? Heheh." , he said.
Right.
This speaks volumes of his opinion of me.

Now on the other hand, two fellas, to whom I've made it very clear that I'm not interested, STILL made the effort to come and support me. That impressed the hell outa me.
So when I think about how THEY could come out and try to get a taste of my world, and I compare it to Person B's almost total lack of interest in what is important to me, it really drives home what I had been thinking all along.

He's not for me.