Aaaaaaargh!
I don't believe this!
T- 1 hr and 30 minutes to party time, and I'm having extreme HAIR issues!!
I really should known this was gonna happen. I tried out this new steam hair presser tonight, thinkin' I'd be rockin' a straight 'do, but surprise, surprise, this kinda thing (which looks like some kinda medeival torture device) DOES NOT WORK ON NATURAL BLACK-PEOPLE HAIR!

Schuupes, so now my hair looks all frazzled and it's too late to really fix it, so I'm gonna have to pull it back in one! Dammit! This kinda thing can really offset a girl's night!

Anyhow, I guess I'll try to rise above and beyond this minor setback, and focus on the bigger issue here: It's the end of 2003!!!! AAAAAAAAAGH!!!! AAAAAAAAAGH!!
AAAAAAAAGH!!!!




Happy New Year, everybody.

About 10 years ago, one of the little-boys-next-door, who had a crush on me moved away to the States.

Tonight, I heard a knock on the door, I answered it, and who should I see standing before me, but the previously skinny and eye-level-to-a-belly-button, little pipsqueak, now transformed into a handsome, 6'1" 17 yr. old!
I really wished I took a lil' time out to fix my hair before I went to the door.

Cha....he really grew into those big buck-teeth of his.

Lord save me from these young boys!

(I know, I know, I need help, right Spidude?)

The New Year is looming ahead of me and I’m getting a sense of impending doom.
Okay, maybe tha’s a little dramatic, but I’m still feeling rather attached to 2003. I’m not ready for Twenty-Oh-Four. I feel like hiding in my bed, safe under my sheets.
3 more days…Yikes…I’m getting that familiar panicky feeling in my stomach. I need to keep reminding myself to breath.

C.O.T.
On a brighter note, the Coolest Guy I’ve Ever Known is comin’ home in about 2 days and x hours! Yet another reason to hold my breath! All now, I’m tryin’ to decide what’s the most appropriate way to greet him. Should I:

a) Walk up casually, give ‘im a big bear hug and say “Welcome back Star! I miss ya bad enough!”
OR
b) Run up enthusiastically, wrap my arms around ‘im like I’ll never let go, and kiss ‘im like Aragorn kissed Arwen at the end of LOTR, Return Of The King (dat was SO hot!).

Each has its pros and cons.

Right now, I'm a little overwhelmed at the number of sexy men within my reach. More in a minute.


There should be a lime at Vaucluse every weekend! The vibe was warm and "Woodstocky" as usual! We drank, we laughed, we drank some more, we danced, I challenged some upstart to a wukkin' up competion (we BOTH won, heheh). My butt is sore from wukkin' up on the roof of Lani's mum's jeep. It was a good time, and I wished I could live in that moment forever.
However, I was dragged away to Club Xtreme, which was okay, I guess. The vibe wasn't as warm and free, and I WAS a little tired at this point, but things perked up when I saw the boys.

Boy Number 1: This's the same beautiful guy that I can't help but stare at, whenever he's in my vicinity. The same one whom I can never seem to work up the nerve to approach. I made a little progress last night though: we passed each other in the doorway and shared what I thought was a smoldering gaze. I'll admit, I like the mystery.

Boy Number 2: I dunno why I'm dedicating blog space to this guy, but whenever I see a fella that I'm struck with an instant attraction for, I like to run with that feeling. He had spiky hair, a strong torso and a rugged adorableness to him. Enough with the sentences, let's do this in point form.

* I asked him to dance (props to me!)
*Turns out he can't dance if you paid him.
*He's from Canada which may explain the dancing.
*I didn't mind teaching him.
*He came back for more.
*His name's Mitch
*I'll dream about him for a couple nights to come.

Joy To The World, I say!

Merry Christmas to all the peops out there in Bloggerland. I had a good day, even though I didn't make it to church. I was wiped out! I hope God understands.

Here were my Xmas activities:

1.)Went by somebody for a Garlic Pork breakfast
2.)Came home & chilled for a bit
3.)Went by a next body for lunch
4.)See number 2.
5.)Went to Sunbury Plantation and BASHED THE F*** OUT!

That was exACTLY what I needed! I socialized, I danced, I got nuff Xmas hugs and kisses...it was fabulous! Oh, and warm Hypnotique isn't as bad as it sounds.
I wanna give a shout out to all my BloggerChicks that came out spread the Xmas cheer! You all know who you are!

Yay! And MORE bashin' this afternoon!

It's Christmas Eve (duh) and I'm feeling down. I'm here with my family, as I should be and yet...I dunno...I still feel kinda empty.
Maybe it's because we still have no tree up. Maybe it's because we've all been working so hard in the family business, that now we're all too exhausted to enjoy
the warm, fuzzy Yuletide spirit.

Maybe it's because I got reported today for waiting in a "No Parking" zone and because the credit union ATM rejected my card.

Maybe it's because I feel like I'm becoming a recluse.
I don't ever seem to have the time nor the inclination to go spend time with friends anymore. And the less time I spend with my peers, the less I seem to have in common with them.

I'll probably snap outa this semi-funk I'm in fairly soon.

Nothing that a tequila shot and some butter cookies can't fix. Bring on the Sauza.

I'm absolutely beside myself! The boy next door has a crush on me, and he's absolutely gorgeous! Slight problem, he's only 7 years old.
His parents already have us engaged. I'm under strict instructions to wait another 10 years or so 'til he's ready for me.
I'm 23...what's another 10?

Only 3 more days before Christmas, and we STILL haven’t erected (heheh, I said “erected�, heheh.) our tree! I know we’re usually late with this thing, but this time we REALLY cuttin’ it close!

Daana’s Top Ten Christmas Songs:
10.) All I want for Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey.
9.) Any Christmas parang (so lively and festive!)
8.) Japanese Transistor Radio (dunno who sings this one but it cracks me up every time!)
7.)Is that You Santa Claus?- Louis Armstrong
6.)Santa Baby – Eartha Kitt (the Madonna version is too…juvenile )
5.)The Grinch- Busta Rhymz and Jim Carey
4.)Come All Ye Faithful (Had to put a traditional hymn in there)
3.)Jingle Bells- Barbara Streisand (Yknow…the one where she starts singin’ SO fast that ya can’t keep up with ‘er?)
2.) Sleigh Ride – I Dunno Who
1.) That parody of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller�, performed by Madd. The one where they sing about your hungry friends that only come around on Xmas day to eat out all de ham and jug.

Oh man, how to put into words the feeling of utter bliss
When you hear a song,
And it's like that PARTICULAR blend of rhythm, melody and words
Just speaks to you....moves you....flows right through your soul and lifts you to heights...
You feel at one with the music,
And all at once you want to fall on knees
And thank God Almighty for blessing you with ears.

I love me some percussion....gimme a good bass beat and I'll rock all night.

I tellya, this island is WAY too small! Ya can't get upto nuh kinda mischief at all widdout gettin' catch!
Well then, I guess that makes things more exciting!

C.O.T.
Never underestimate the power of prayer, my people. Ask and it shall be given unto you. And praying for others makes you feel especially warm and fuzzy.

If sex was materialised into an inanimate object, this
would be it....and this
would be my favourite position.

Talk about releasin' your Part B! Me-OW baby!

So far, this's the most commercial Christmas I've had. I haven't had time for shopping nor decorating, only working to get other people's money.
It's still early...maybe I can work this out.

My Yoga Mat

When I’m on my yoga mat, I’m in my own little world.
I feel invincible and somewhat above it all…
For a brief moment in time, my body is strong and perfect,
And does everything I ask of it.

Speaking of which, I have a Personal Achievement to announce!
I did 3 boy-style push-ups during my Saturday workout! Hell-Yeah!
I usually do the girl-style ones, but this time it seems like I developed the upper body strength to really work it! Yes man! I'se a soje!

C.O.T.

Somebody thought my Mum & I were sisters this morning…I haven’t quite made up my mind whether or not this bothers me.

C.O.T.

I bathed my Granddad’s dog Puppy (yeah, tha’s his name) this weekend. He’s such a drama queen (Puppy, not my Granddad…although Granddad has his moments too).
I had to tie his collar to the gate just so he wouldn’t run off, and THEN he acted like the whole thing was some big traumatizing experience! His body went limp and his eyes glazed over, as if he was tryin’ to astrally project his spirit to a happier time and place. After it was all over and he was lookin’ and smellin’ good, I untied him.
He looked at me in disbelief, then trotted off. Would you believe the first thing that idiot dog went and did, was go and roll up in one setta mud! Schuuuupes.

All day long I was looking forward to chillin' wid him tonight, but I guess I didn't realise how much.

I skipped for 2 extra minutes this afternoon, my energy seemingly boosted by the prospect of an actual date after so long.

I washed and conditioned my hair,then I lathered up with Herbal Essence Body Wash, so ya KNOW I was smellin' good.

I dressed, fixed up my hair and glossed up my lips.

My whole frikkin' aura was in "date mode"....then he called to say he was tired and he was just gonna crash tonight.

Well, I felt like crying. I hate being this disappointed!
Here I sit, at home, alone on a Friday night, looking all cute, and smelling absolutely delicious.
What a waste.

Why people’s gotta be so friggin’ hard-ears? It only seems like common sense to me that if you owe somebody money, you bloody-well PAY them! Ya don’t hem and haw and stall and all manner of foolishness!
Rule No. 1: You don’t fuck around with other people’s money! You just DON’T!

That uppity bitch now got me offset and I can’t even concentrate on workin’.
Aaaaargh! I need me one-a them punching bag things.

It always surprises me how much some guys are into women's feet.

I mean, yeah, pretty feet are all well and good, y'know, part of the whole package and all that, but for some fellas, The Feet is where it ALL starts!


Realization That Most Surprised Me About Myself:
Turns out I may not be entirely opposed to having my toes sucked.

Yee-ha! Down girl!

Another Independence Day has come and gone.
I thought the radio stations woulda made a bigger deal of it and play some frikkin' BAJAN music for a change. My bad, guess tha's just not the point of our Independence Day.

C.O.T.
Went to Coney Island on Friday, and rode all de baddest rides! Yup, I was a real soldier, and yet I felt like a little girl again! I guess I still am a little girl in the grand scheme of things.

Aw man...I want to blog some more, but I'm just too sleepy....
Y'know, it's a case of the mind is willing but the body ain' able.
I think I'll take the liberty of typing utter rubbish now and blame it on my poor sleep-deprived self.

I kinda want a puppy....but I dunno if I could take care of it...I mean, I've had dogs before, but it's been so long...what am I sayin', of course I could take care of it...I'm a competent young woman...maybe I should get a hamster...I always thought they were pretty cute...I wonder if they bite.....maybe I should get fish instead....they won't bite...wait, tha's not true....fish bite me all the time...Note to Self...no fish...

Okay, time to haul ass to bed now. G'night.

I’m fascinated by the ethics of BET.

People like Jennifer Lopez, Justin Timberlake, Bubba Sparxx, Stagga Lee, and Eminem will have their videos played back to back on Black Entertainment Television, while many ACTUAL Black people such as Lenny Kravitz and Sonique doan get no airplay atall atall atall!!

Wait! I know! Maybe the name of the network is less about the race of the featured musicians/artists, and more about the genres of music that are typically associated with Black people.
Hmm, I may have a point here…J-Lo, J-Tim, B-Spar and Em, may all be non-Black but at least they perform typically “black” music, WHEREAS L-Krav, and Niqs sing music typically enjoyed more by White people! Wow, that MUST be it, right??

What a load of crap. I happen to know many Black people, including myself, who have very eclectic tastes in music and would welcome Black musicians of ANY genre, even if only to provide a little variety on BET.
And whassup with the owners/producers of BET being White? I don’t have all the facts on this, but I do know that many of the video producers are white. Doesn’t it seem strange that the ones directing these videos and hence dictating what black hip-hop culture is supposedly about, are white?

I smell a conspiracy.

Invention Appreciation Day!

I’ve decided that every once in a while, I’ll dedicate a segment of my blog to honouring a great invention which has improved the quality of my life.

Today’s invention is The Car!

The car is such an immense convenience and yet it’s virtues often go unsung.

Why, can you imagine if every time I wanted to guh ‘cross by so ‘n’ so, I had to hitch Shaunté de mule up to de cart? It wud tek me 3+ hours to get wuh part I gine! Yeah, it’s a more environmentally-friendly transportation option, but it just about completely rules out goin’ to fetes!

Yes, I find that I too, take for granted, and sometimes even abuse, the privilege of being able to drive a car, and for this I am truly ashamed.

So don’t wait everybody,…hug a car today.

I realise that death does not bother me.
I have completely accepted the fact that we all must die, and that someday I will have to say goodbye to each and every person I know.
When someone passes away, I mourn not because that person has died, but because I'll never get to see them again in this lifetime. Maybe no-one else will understand the difference but that's the way I feel.

Maybe the reason it doesn't bother me is because I don't believe that death is the end. I know our spirits will re-unite with those of the ones we have lost.
I also feel somewhat comforted by the knowledge that those who have passed on, have been relieved of the worries and suffering of this world.

R.I.P. Aunty Betty.

The ball was last night. I think my performance coulda been better...it was just alright in my opinion. *sigh* The few days after a show or a competion are such an anti-climax for me. I'm on a dancing "low" right now. I'm both physically and mentally exhausted form the last two weeks of rehearsal sessions running late into the night. I think I'll go to bed early tonight.
Next on my agenda is the Jahbulani's "Strictly Latin 2004" Competition.
Whoah yeah. Just thinking about it right now makes me tired.

C.O.T.
I'm not deserving of his affection. He deserves someone who can return his feelings, someone who doesn't care what other people think.
Someone who can just let go.

I’m lonely…but I think it’s an insincere emotion (if there is such a thing) on my part, triggered by hearing about someone else’s developing romance. I’m perfectly fine most of the time, and this feeling of loneliness only seems to appear within me when I’m lead to believe that everyone else around me has someone to snuggle with. Suddenly I remember that I’m alone, and that I have been for such a long, long time.
One thing I gotta say though, I’m very good at talking myself outa these moods. Self-pity never solves anything.

C.O.T.

I find I like hip-hop WAY too much for someone who also opposes the objectification of women and the extravagant lifestyle promoted in this genre of music.
I can’t help it! The beat just gets a-hold of me and makes me wanna shake it!


Get ready for the percolatuh,
Dj gonna work the fader
C'mon, drop it like a hot potatuh
Everybody let's percolatuh!----Rah Digga

Y’know, prayer can be just as cleansing as a bar of soap. It comforting to know that I always have someone to talk to, no matter the topic.

C.O.T.
Practice last night was somewhat frustrating…I just can’t seem to keep my balance! The floor WAS slippery, but a good dancer never uses that as an excuse…they just deal with it. We messed up a couple times during the dance and at the end of it, the silence was just as loud as the applause was the night before. I’ll admit, I felt a little humiliated and angry with myself. I know Shane felt the same way too, since his mood changed to sullen and impatient after that. He always wears his heart on his sleeve. *Sigh * Only 4 more rehearsal days before the show too. We’ll need the practice.
And I’m getting nervous about my costume too. Will it be sexy enough? Will it fall JUST the way I want it to? Good thing I have a backup dress. No kick-pants to go with it though, so I better wear decent undies. Heheh!

C.O.T.
Well, I’m off the soup diet, and I’m on to my new and improved (not to mention tastier) eating plan! What I do is eat properly all week long, y’know, lotsa veggies, fruit, fibre, low/no fat/sugar/carbs/salt, then at the end of the week, I allow myself an item from my “Pig-Out Foods” list, so that I don’t have to feel deprived!
This Friday is a spare-rib dinner from TNT. Oh yeaaaaaah, can’t hardly wait.

I was scheduling an appointment into Lotus Organiser, when I took a look at the calender section and right at the bottom it said:

“44 more days”

I panicked!
I mean, I know it’s November 17th, but I never thought of it as
Only 44 More Days Left In The Year 2003!
All I can think about is how time is slipping through my fingers all too quickly! What am I gonna do? All of a sudden I’ve got the urge to find someone and cling to them for dear life! Only 44 more days left! How many people do I have to say “I love you” to? How many old ladies must I help across the road? Should I rush over to the hospital and give blood now, or should I do it tomorrow?
44 Days just isn’t enough time! I need time, I need time, I need time!

Good grief! Why is it that in the nicer clothing stores, the sexy dresses ARE ALL IN SMALL SIZES???
If I was a sensitive soul, my self-esteem would have shot 12 levels lower this morning as I searched in vain for a suitably fabulous formal dress for the ball next week. This is just not good enough!! Are big women not considered worthy of fine apparel?? It’s a friggin’ shame is what it is.
And my search continues.

C.O.T.
My ballroom partner is SO sweet to me! At practice last night, I had a big-time allergy attack (felt like I was gonna lose a vital organ out through my nose!) and I was sneezy and snotty and covered in bits of damp tissue-debris…and he STILL practised with me! He didn’t mind at all he said, as he took my moist, post-sneeze hand. There I was, feeling all self-conscious and gross, and he allayed my anxieties and danced with me. He really made me feel loved and appreciated.
I’m feeling really mushy about now.

C.O.T.
Confession time again! A couple days ago, my dad did some BASHMENT roast pork, and I couldn't resist its tantalising aroma, and I ended up havin' some of it! Yes I cheated! But I don't feel guilty about it cuz

1.) it was protein and not carbohydrate (carbs are the REAL dieting demons) and,
2.) This diet I'm on right now is BARE ish, and I frikkin' DESERVED that pork!

It's Day 6.
It's unbelievable how the minute you can't have something, it becomes your heart's desire.
Last night I dreamt I ate some pancakes, and I woke up in a semi-panic cuz I thought I cheated! My dad said that people on diets become obsessed with food.
I can see his point.

Weekends will be a real challenge for me, since I'll be spending more time inside my house which is also the home of:

1. A shitload of fattening foods and,
2. My father (who thinks fat women should be assassinated) and my brother (who inherited my father's "skinny" genes).

As you can imagine, those components are about as helpful to me as a brick to the head.

C.O.T.
I'm not happy with the song my partner and I decided on, but I had to give in since none of the songs I picked were the right tempo.
Oh well, this'll give me a chance to hone my skills as an actress....y'know, see if I can bring suh'in special to the song.

I feel like huggin' somebody!

Okay, I've emerged from that cocoon of misery in which I was enveloped yesterday.
Ahhh, feels good to sing again!

I've made peace with the fact that I've only lost 2 lbs, I've accepted that my father is a jerk sometimes, and I've even convinced myself not to take THAT guy seriously, since he doesn't know what the hell he's talkin' about 75% of the time.

Plus, it’s FRIDAY! Hell yeah! My partner and I should be rendezvous-ing tonight, to try to pick out a suitable song to perform our rumba to, for an upcoming ball. That should be fun.

C.O.T.
It’s Day 5 of this diet, and I’m still riding high. Haven’t cheated at all, and tha’s an achievement in itself, lemmuh teyya! Today’s Beef /Chicken/Fish with Tomatoes Day.

I’m on to Day 4 of this diet. By now, I shoulda lost 5-7 lb according to the instructions. I have lost 2 lbs.
My soup supply is dwindling so I need to buy more cabbage and tomatoes.
I’m feeling discouraged and downtrodden.

C.O.T.
He did it again. He ALWAYS says the wrong thing to me. Can’t he tell when he’s about to say suh’in stupid or insulting, and just shut the fuck up instead?

C.O.T.
There’s no pleasing people. If you’re a bitch, they complain. If you express joy, or maybe just like to have a pleasant expression on your face, they call you an airhead. Well, if I’m happy, I’m gonna fuckin’ show it. “They” can suck out.

C.O.T.
Last night we performed at the NIFCA Finals. I think we did good too. There’s a chance we’ll make it to the Gala. Yay.

C.O.T.
Do I need my father’s approval for my actions? No. But it would it be nice for him to give me a compliment for once or be proud of something in which I was participating.
Shite.

Y'know...maybe there IS suh'in to be said for foreign men.

Saturday night I got to hang out with 6 foine young men from Trinidad, Colombia, de U.S. , and Jamaica, and I dunno if it was just because they were from somewhere else or what, but I've become quite enthralled with these guys!
I never thought it was possible to develop a crush on a group instead of an individual!

One has exTREMEly kissable lips,
one has sexy teeth (you'd have to see 'em!) and locks,
another has a cool, charismatic personality, and can dance
Another seems admirably dedicated to his passion (football),
the next has the whole Asian thing goin' for 'im (I'm very interested in learning more about Asian men *grin*)
and de last one is just an all-round attractive guy, with deep dark eyes.

And of course, all had such different accents. It was a nice change of scene.

Thank you Lani, for my night out with the men!


C.O.T.
Today is Day 1 of this Fat-Burning 7-Day diet I’m on. My sustenance for the next 7 days will mostly be from this cabbage and tomato soup I made this morning.
I had it for breakfast and it wasn’t so bad, but I just finished a thermos full of the stuff for lunch and I dunno how I’m gonna make it through the week.
*Sigh* Right now I’m feeling so very, very, low.

Ahhh, today I have taken an important step in my journey to truly knowing Me. I just love these little revelations of self discovery! I rewarded myself by tryin' out a sub from Mamma Mia's.
Italian sausage with mozarella and sun-dried tomatoes. Bellisimo!

C.O.T.
You! Scandal and conflict is EVERYWHERE! Just when you think everything is smooth and glossy, you realise that's ONLY because you haven't been payin' attention!

And, as usual, this undercurrent has absolutely nothing to do with me, so I'm free to just amuse myself by observing the disguised drama.
See, I have a sneaking suspicion that she's cosying up to my ballroom partner for a reason...she wants to steal him away. I say let her cosy all she wants...he ain't goin' nowhere. Of that, I am sure.
This'll be fun!

This blog is dedicated to that blockhead who COULDA had me years ago when I was younger and quite frankly, dumber.

You idiot! I was like a puppy back then! I woulda followed you anywhere and given you anything...well maybe not anything, but most of what you asked for, all to try to make you care about me!
And I was so stupid! I actually thought you DID care! I ignored the fact that you never called me and that you used me as your personal taxi service. And when I finally realised what a lowlife you were, you wouldn't even face me like a man! You avoided me like the plague! You frickin' RAN from me, you chickenshit!

And years later, you come waltzing back on to the scene (w'happen, she realise you ain' sayin' nuttin?) wanting forgiveness and yes, I forgave you when I really shoulda spit in your face! But to try to re-kindle that one-sided romance?? Please! I laugh at you now!

In the words of Gwen Stefani :
You want me badly...but you cannot have me!

It seems like all the men in my life are suffering from a case of extreme misery.

My grandfather…well, he’s your classic grouchy old man who never goes anywhere, so the only way he can make conversation is by complaining about any and everything, from his electricity bill to his coffee table which he found displaced 2 inches to the left of it’s normal position.

My father…he’s quickly turning into a grouchy old man himself. It shows especially when he’s trying to mold me into “Good Little Wife” material by coercing me to cook. Incidentally, I did some stewed chicken last night with no prompting from him, and um did taste REAL gud yuh! See? When I cook of my own free will, THA'S when you can taste the love in the food. :)

My brother…I dunno wha’s wrong with him, but he like he feel he’s my fadda. Playin’ he hollarin’ out my name and quarrellin’ wid me over stupidness. Sometimes I wish he’d spend more time asleep just so I can get some peace.

My ballroom partner…never before have I met a fella with such sudden mood swings. One minute he’s cool and kixy…the next he’s silent and sullen, and if I try to cheer him up he looks at me wid an expression that says “Why is this piece of human excrement talking to me?”

Or is it just me? Seems like I’m a common facter in their lives…could I be the one makin’ these men miserable?
Man, I doubt it! I think they all just need a good dose of anti-depressants!

Useless Information

N - my favourite letter
32 - no. of moles on my body.
Red - colour of lipstick I put on this morning (gives me a kind of power rush).
Anything But Ordinary - song by Avril Lavigne, that's been stuck in my head all day.

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident turbulent succulent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby

Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

Ok, so I guess it’s obvious that nothin’ much has been goin’ on in my life.
Well, maybe not NOTHING…my ballroom studio performed 2 line dance routines at the NIFCA semi-finals and we made it through to the finals! Tha’s SOMEthing, ain’t it?

And yesterday I had a personal triumph…for a while now I’ve been tryin’ to persuade this (mostly online) buddy of mine to come to a b’room class to check out what we do…and he actually turned up yesterday!!

Damn, I forgot how goodlookin’ he is. Too bad he brought some chick with ‘im and THEN left before I could chuck some latin moves at ‘im! He’ll be back though…even if I have to drug & drag ‘im!

C.O.T.
I did absolutely NUTTIN this weekend. I was s’posed to head out to Red Rooster to get the free bar-snack I won in a radio call-in contest on Friday, but my couch was just too sweet Satduh night!
Why do people try to make me feel inadequate for stayin' home?

C.O.T.
For the morning so far, I have sneezed a grand total of 37 times. Sometimes I get the suspicion that I may be allergic to oxygen itself.

Most Interesting Thing So Far For The Week (And It's Only Monday)

Ya never know what other people think of ya, hear? This is a MSN conversation I had today, with a male aquaintance of mine. I'm NIFCA-ist, by the way.
(Names have been changed to protect the identities of the inexcusably stupid.)


The Guy says:this might sound like a weird question but are u um like, a lesbian?

NIFCA-ist says: Wha??????
NIFCA-ist says: Ahahahahahahaha!!!!
NIFCA-ist says:HAHAHAHAHAAAA!
NIFCA-ist says:Was that s'posed to be a serious question??

The Guy says:er
The Guy says:no
The Guy says:not at all

NIFCA-ist says:No seriously, did you just ask me that being serious??

The Guy says: yes

NIFCA-ist says: No *his name here*! I am not a lesbian!!
NIFCA-ist says:Good god, what on earth gave you any doubts?

The Guy says:I dunno whybut u give off a lesbian vibe

NIFCA-ist says:WHA???????
NIFCA-ist says:A les....
NIFCA-ist says:A vibe...???
NIFCA-ist says:I am speechless.

The Guy says:sorry
The Guy says:I dunno man

NIFCA-ist says:Awright...leme calm down and look at this rationally
NIFCA-ist says:Ok...Could you do me a favour and describe this vibe that you seem to pick up from me?
NIFCA-ist says:Maybe it'll help me understand your warped point of view.

The Guy says:I dunno, u just don't seem like someone that goes for guys ....
The Guy says: and the way u talk...it's lesbiany
The Guy says: ne'er mind

NIFCA-ist says:I TALK "lesbiany"????

The Guy says: yes

NIFCA-ist says:How???

The Guy says:u know...like how lesbians talk...I can't describe it

NIFCA-ist says:I have no idea how lesbians talk!
NIFCA-ist says:I don't know any lesbians!

The Guy says:it's not a bad thing...I love lesbians
The Guy says:oh ...*insert ashamed/sad emoticon here* I'm sorrryyyyyyyyy
The Guy says:I didn't mean anything by it
The Guy says:if it's any comfort u'd make a hot lesiban

NIFCA-ist says:I don't think I'm ready to take that as a compliment just yet!
NIFCA-ist says:De man reason dat I don't look like the type that likes guys. *insert shocked emoticon here*

The Guy says: I'm sorryyyyy
The Guy says:hey I've got it...u don't act girly
The Guy says:that's it...that's why

NIFCA-ist says:I do too act girly!

The Guy says:nuh uh

NIFCA-ist says:How would you know anyhow?

The Guy says:general conversation with you...like back at bcc

NIFCA-ist says:Hol' on...what is typical "girly" behaviour for you?

The Guy says:I dunno...like ditsy...and giddy headed
The Guy says:u just seemed like confident
The Guy says:and self assured
The Guy says:sorta like a guy
The Guy says:know what I mea?


Is this guy braindead, or what? He automatically assumes that a female who ISN'T ditsy/giddy-headed, and IS confident and self-assured (wow, I had no idea I came across that way to anyone), is a lesbian??? And even MORE insulting, that all hetersexual females are airheads with low self-esteem??

Maybe they should quarantine this boy before his ignorance spreads.

Well, I made dinner tonight...but only under duress.
As soon as my brother and I got home, my father got Warren to mow the lawn, and he chucked two packages of mince meat in front of me and said "Here. Do something with that."

Aaaaaaaaargh! It gets me so vex that my father is hellbent on making me cook ! If he wanted me to cook to help out or because he thinks I'd be a better person for it, fine, I could deal with that....but NO! He wants me to cook because he thinks it's a woman's duty to cook!!! How in the name of Destiny's Child did I end up being born to a sexist father???

Needless to say, since I was cooking against my will, I didn't put any love into the food, and the mincemeat ended up too salty!
Dah Fuh Lick Yuh!!!!

Oh boo-hoo, what man will ever want me now?

Ohhhhh, all this thunder and dark clouds...usually they don't affect me much, but for some reason I'm feeling unusually lascivious this time.

"My whole body tingles, in need of an amorous entanglement. I need that heat."

He was staring at me again last night.
Why does he DO that? And why is it that he irks me so? I know he's attracted to me but it's like everything he says is just the WRONG thing! He tries too hard and it just doesn't work for him!
And it seems like I'm the only one who notices this. It must be me.
I just wish he'd stop staring at me when he thinks I'm not payin' attention.
And he could really try harder to hide the fact that whenever it looks like he's speaking to me, he's REALLY speaking to my breasts.

Okay, so I caved and had a piece of apple-pie last night.

I find that my resolve is so much weaker at night, when everything is quiet.
That's when I hear the voice of my Part B so much more clearly. She's so persuasive.

I also blame Lani and my brother. Lani's the one who baked the pie in the first place, and my brother is the one who didn't eat it fast enough to prevent it from tempting me.

Not gonna be too hard on myself though. I'm back on track!

C.O.T.

Damn, it's so hot right now!

Most Perfect Scenario I Can Think Of At The Moment

Me, stretched out in a big macramé hammock, underneath a tamarind/almond/shak-shak tree, beside a little table with a boombox (playing some Toni Braxton) and a pitcher of ice-cold lemonade, with a 19 yr. old, bare-back Polynesian hunk massaging my feet.

Ahhh, now THA'S what I'm talkin' about!

Captain's Log, Star-date 3.14

I would kill for a stick of sugarless gum right about now.

Hark! What was that thunderous racket? Sounded like a herd of panicked wildebeest just stampeded through the bridge! Or maybe it was just my empty stomache...

So what greeted me this morning for breakfast?
OATMEAL of all things!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to my Mum for making breakfast, but she’s s’posed to be on this low-carb diet too! We're tryin' out the "buddy system" approach. Anyhow, after I scolded her, she put on her best expression of wide-eyed innocence and said,
“Sorry Daanz, I didn’t know you meant oatmeal too.” Meanwhile scooping spoonfuls of the gooey stuff into her mouth.

Sigh…how am I s’posed to be strong when my own MOTHER is fighting me on this?
But oh, the tantalizing smell of warm, sweet, thick oatmeal…I’m proud to say that I resisted valiantly.

Score 1 for de Iyah.

Yummy Food That I'll Have To Give Up On This Low-Carb Diet I'm Trying

Anything wid flour in it (Sandwiches, pizza, pies, cakes, cookies [oh no! Not the cookies!] etc.)
Anyting wid sugar in it (alcohol, icecream, juice, soda, breath mints etc.)
Cereal
Tortilla chips
Macaroni pie
Potato (salad, mashed, baked, scalloped, etc.)

No more rotis...just protein, fruits and vegetables.

Why am I doin' this to myself?
I deserve only your pity for this.

I think this chick at ballroom is tryin' to steal my partner.
Why must she keep comin' and "borrowing" MY partner when dey got nuff udda men dat ain' got no friggin' partner??? Schuuupes.
Little does SHE know that her ploy ain't gonna work! She'll just have to find her own! Sneaky bitch.

C.O.T.
Forgot to mention that my new latin shoes
arrived the other day. I got 'em in flesh-coloured satin with 3" heels.
I dunno who these people are tryin' to fool when they call anything "flesh-coloured"! I mean, that certainly isn't the colour of MY flesh! Oh well, it'll still work I guess. It'll have to, cuz there's another show comin' up in November and we have some SERIOUS work to do!
I still haven't forgotten about my dream shoes
,...I'll just have to wait a little longer 'til we can be together!

My brother's surprise birthday party came off great! He was comPLETELY clueless about it, and the look on his face when everyone came out and yelled "Surprise!" was priceless!!!

And for once, HIS friends were way sportier than mine! Whassup with that? My friends gettin' old or wha?
And one-a his friends, who I thought was a whiny spoilsport at first, turned out to be bare kix after a few Banks'!
And did I mention hot? My man start doin' a strip tease to some groovy "flamming music" I had on....slowly unbuttonin' de shirt to reveal a surprisingly well-sculpted torso! Well...what was I supposed to do?
I did the only thing that seemed appropriate under the circumstances...I put a quarter in his belly-button! Haha! I know it's not nice to go encouraging the inebriated in their drunken antics, but he's just so much more FUN when he's tipsy, it's unbelievable! Plus he's a hottie.

Would it be wrong for me to try to pull at my little brother's friend?

Recently I’ve been struck by all the instances I see of gold-digging women around the place. I mean. I see absolutely gorgeous women hanging around with um, less-than-attractive-lookin’ fellas, and I’m told time and time again “Money, Daana, money.”

Awright, hold up! Am I the shallow one here?? Don’t looks count for ANYTHING anymore?
With women I mean, cuz with men it seems like looks are at the very top of their “Required qualities” list.
I just couldn't bring myself to be with someone who looked like say...Old Dirty Bastard from the Wu-Tang Clan, no matter WHAT the average balance on his bank account is! Please!

According to the typical BET music video, any uncouth, no-class, face-looks-like-a-horse-pooch-dat-been-shot-wid-platinum-bullets idiot out there can have his freakin’ PICK of long-legged, scantily-clad women, as long as he’s “ballin’”! Makes me sick. Then again, that IS how hookers operate. (And to think, this is the general image bein’ shown on the ONLY tv network that supposedly represents Black people. But that’s another blog.)

I myself have been accused of only goin’ for fellas that’re good-lookin’, and yeah, I’ll admit, if a guy looks hot he gets my attention initially, but by Tyson Beckford, if he doesn’t have the brains and good-nature (very important) to back it up, then he ain’t my type!

I finally got to see 28 Days Later last night with a couple friends. And yes, it was worth the wait.

I think this movie has had a profound affect on me. I was paranoid on the whole drive back home. Check me lookin' around nervously, half-expecting a mob of red-eyed madmen to jump out in front my car.
I can still feel the bitter taste of adrenaline in my mouth. It was THAT frikkin' scary!

And the main character, Jim (Mr. "Hello?", himself) cleans up REAL good.
That's right, I've developed a crush on him too. I gotta stop with these movie-star crushes of mine. It's a sickness, but it feels so good.
me/ refrains from squealing "Omigosh! He is SO cute!"

I need to see this man, uh movie, again.

Happy October everybody!

I hereby solemly swear that, if I am so lucky as to celebrate my 50th birthday, I will do everything in my power to refrain from

1.)Becoming a miserable old coot, too set in her ways to try anything new
2.) Boring everyone in my immediate vicinity with the same old tired stories
3.) Bothering about every little insignificant piece of crap that should present itself
4.)Immediately dismissing the reasoning of my younger (and more savvy) relatives.

Old people can be so vexing.

C.O.T.

If I could have 4 wishes right now (the standard 3, then 1 extra), and the genie granting them insisted that they could only be selfish, frivolous wishes), I know one of 'em would be to have a voice like Aretha Franklyn, Joan Armatrading and Carla Thomas.
A rich, powerful, soulful voice.
Yup, I'd be a blues/jazz singer on the weekends!

I need meat.
Aw man. I'm sitting here..absolutely starving. Yes yes, I DID have lunch, but good grief, there were no spare ribs!

My body is absolutely craving spare ribs. I think I may be deficient in Vitamin BBQ sauce, but I can't be sure about that. I'll get a second opinion from my doctor.
I need to haul my a$$ to TnT or suhin' before I collapse.


C.O.T.

What the hell is up with me? I gotta be allergic to SUH'IN around here, cuz recently I've just been erupting into these alarming fits of sneezing in the middle of the night, in the middle of the day, while driving, etc.
I took drastic measures yesterday and de-dusted my room as much as humanly possible, but it didn't work! I'm STILL sneezing like a friggin'....uh...thing that sneezes a lot.
Maybe I'll cave and get some allergy medicine to accompany my spare ribs.

I think I may have a challenge here.
I've entered a new ballroom partnership, and so far, I'm not sensing the same level of enthusiasm about it from my partner as I have.
This means that I'm gonna have to take charge in some ways,…assume the role of Initiator.
The problem with that, is that this is a role that I’m definitely not used to playing. This is gonna be difficult as rass.
If this is how he’s gonna be for the whole time we’re together, then I’m gonna have to rely on myself for motivation for the BOTH of us. Even thinking about it is draining me right now.
This’ll require a truckload-a inner strength and perseverance. Qualities which I’ve always wanted to develop in myself, and I guess this is my chance.
Yup, this’ll be good for me…like a kind of therapy.

Bring it on.


C.O.T.
I have a sneaking suspicion that Rix still reads my blogs.
RIX, IF YOU READ THIS, I’LL KNOW! YOU CAN’T HIDE IT!

I will never understand how anyone can use the words "I love you" so freely. Those are some dangerous words right there. They set off all kindsa bells and whistles in your head. Not to mention all dem chemical reactions that cloud your judgement.
*Sigh* All that commotion caused by what's s'posed to be JUST words. Just words, my ass.
And the sentence "I think I'm falling in love with you." wreaks JUST as much havoc on your system.

Isn't there s'posed to be some sorta standard length of time that a couple has to be "going out" before one or both parties involved decide that they're in love? Like a year, maybe?
Shit man, this ain' no game.
People cannot just go around saying "I love you" all willy-nilly like it ain't nuttin'! That can really mess someone up!

On a somewhat realated topic...

Rix ain't goin' nowhere for a while to come. Yup, he's gonna be in my life in a big way, and while I'm glad about that, I still gotta resist that temptation.
Damn cookie!

Okay...so I'm having a bit of a block as to what to blog about. So this here'll be fictional.
Yes, this is what my life SHOULD be like:

Good grief, this week is gonna be tough, but at least I got through the dreaded Monday alive! Yesterday, we had the new lighting system installed for the stage, so we had to practise the whole cabaret routine out on the lawn, of all places!
It wasn't TOO bad though, especially since HE showed up again to watch me!
Jonathon, beautiful Jonathon, always actin' like he doesn't want me. When's he gonna stop the facade and just give in?
He pretended to be "just passing by" again. Yeah right. I tellya, if he wasn't so bloody fine, I'd give up on him altogether.
Oh, who am I kidding! My heart was his from the first time i saw 'im! Just wish he'd get his act together.

Oh, and the place was PACKED again last night, as usual! Monty, our manager, gave us some big news after the show too: we're booked to go on a Caribbean tour for the next 3 months!
I couldn't believe it!
As head choreographer, dance principal in the show, AND lead singer in the band, this means I got some SERIOUS wuk to do!

Ok tha's it for now. Better grab some rest when I can!

Well, my quest for Beautiful Feet has been temporarily way-laid.
Yup, the toenail on the 2nd toe (my favourite one!) on my left foot has finally come completely off after hangin' on for a few weeks. Even though I knew I'd lose it (ever since I sustained the injury from a clumsy moment on my cruise when I banged my foot into my ballroom partner's heavy sneaker. I saw stars that day.), I still feel a sense of loss.
So much so, that I was inspired to write this poem:

Stripped Digit

Poor little toe,
Devoid of a nail
How could I know
You were destined to fail?

You lie with the others
Too pink and too naked
No more like your brothers
Not sure I can take it.

Where once was a nail
Now is uncovered skin.
I think I'll still paint you
Just so you'll fit in

Even though you're so bare
You haven't lost your "cutes"
Could this be an excuse
To buy some new boots?

All is not lost
Little toe, just hang on
You'll grow a new nail
And you're still my best one!

Yesterday was an unusually busy Saturday for me...instead of sleeping 'til 12, which is what I normally do after partying the night before, I got up at eight-friggin'-thirty to meet a guy(let's call 'im Bryan) in order to "help him out" as he put it, and be his partner for a Rhino Ryder excursion!

A Rhino Ryder is like a combination jet-ski/rubber dinghy, which seats 2 people, and the passenger has to sit RIGHT up behind the driver (i.e. in panty-mode) in order for this thing to go as fast as it can. Hmm, now that I think about it, it seems kinda sus...y'mean he had NO other female friends willing to do this thing? If this turns out to be a come-on (which I suspect it is), how can I turn him down nicely?

Oh well, I had a blast though! I should really make an effort to try more typical "tourist" activities!

The only thing that I had a slight problem with, happened during the snorkelling. Well, the whole point of the snorkelling was to feed the fish, and I guess I knew this but dammit, I am just NOT comfortable being surrounded by hundreds of fish, the size of your fore-arm, in a feeding-frenzy!
Our guide, Adrian, assured me that these fish were herbivorous, but I wasn't too sure...they kept circling me...slowly...watching me...waiting for the slightest sign of fear.
The other guide Hugh, a sadistic bastard, kept tossing bread over by me so that the fish would suddenly swoop around me in a blizzard of bubbles, fins and breadcrumbs! Just lemme catch him alone pun a night without that damn loaf-a bread!


The best part was the ride back in, when I got to drive! There are some things that just need to be said, and this is one of em':
Bryan drove like punk-ass beeyatch compared to me! I was all up in that Rhino Ryder mo'fo'!
Zig-zaggin' and doin' aqua-doughnuts and ting! Never mind I collided with some big-ass metal bouy that one time, I still rocked the boat...literally! :)

Yee-HA!

Whoah yeah...the more I look at them the more I want them...
This yearning grows stronger and stronger,... I can feel it in the very core of my being...
They are so sexy.
I'd love to have them...BOTH of them! A little double-team action never hurt anyone, right?

Someone told me the other day that lust is a bad thing, but I can't help it!
Behold the sexiness!!

Just lookin' at them turns me on...I'd love to feel them holding me as I rumba seductively across the floor.

They say the toes are erogenous zones.
One day they will be mine.

My grandfather's present housekeeper is quite a character. She seems unhindered by certain social graces that prevent most people from making personal comments to people they barely know. So I wasn't that surprised when, after not seeing me for months and months, the first thing out of her mouth this morning was
"Wait Daana, you hair look mock! You got on mock hair?" Slightly irritated, but not at all surprised.

This is, after all, the same person who informed me, with much authority that
"Drinkin' cold water does mek ya fat. You didn't know dat??"
If this is true, then people, throw out out your gym clothes, and stock up on cheesecake, because all hope is lost.

More of Daana's Dislikes

Raw onion in salads (or in anything for that matter)

Deodorant pads (who the hell wants that strong "potpourri" scent down there?)

Aquaintances who insist on standing WAY too close when speaking to you
(The question is not "What do ya do IF a golfball hits you" but "What do you do WHEN a golfball hits you?")

Mosquitos (Where in the name of all that is sacred are they COMING from?)

Soapscum (How DOES my mother get it off the shower?? I've tried and failed many times. I think she's Wonder Woman)

Chauvinistic males (What, you too good for housework?)

Elephant Man's voice (it just grates on my nerves...how is his work called music?)

I'll have to post something on my "Likes" again to even things up.

Well, I went to Boatyard on Saturday at the last minute...and it was great!
Looks like there's some sense to this white pants thing...cuz I wore a white miniskirt and I got nuff positive feedback. Imagine if I'd gone all out and went with the pants!

Slight C.O.T.

There's this young man that I see at fetes every now and then and he's just.... beautiful. He makes my aura swirl.
I saw him again at Boatyard and this time I found out his name.
I'd love to be able to go up and talk to him, and maybe I will someday, but right now, it's like I just can't.

I see 'im usually standin' along the perimeter of the dancefloor, talkin' to his boys, not really dancing at all, until later in the night, after he's had a few drinks.
All of a sudden I feel like a stalker, because I find I just love watching him.
And I realise that the reason I don't go up and try to get to know him (aside from the fact that I'm chicken-shit of course) is that I have a feeling that his personality won't match his looks.
He'll turn out to be too boring, or brawling, or maybe a crackhead.

For now, I'm happy with just being able to look at him.

I just came back from, get this....a class on Middle Eastern Dance, a.k.a Belly-dancing!!

It was bare sport, and my body feels much more...fluid.
At the end of the class, the instructor told me that I'm "a natural" and to "keep it up"!

Yee-ha!

That, by the way, was the Highlight Of My Day!

Note to self: get a jingly hip-scarf

Just came back from seeing S.W.A.T. in Olympus.

Colin Farrell is so fackin' hot! Tha's right! Tha's just how hot he is: I cussed to illustrate his hotness.

Gentlemen, this movie has lotsa guns, killing, and shit blowing up so you'll love it.

Ladies, this movie is just CRAWLING with hotties! Even de baddies look good!
And LL Cool J makes ya wanna "move your body like a snake" and slither ALL over that fine torso of his!

Aw man, now I'm all hyped up and I can't go to sleep.
Guess I'll have to do what any gal needs to do after too much eye-candy...go burn off those calories of course!

Take me Colin.

Criminal by Fiona Apple

I've been a bad, bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad sad world
When a girl will break a boy
Just because she can
Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to
Suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need
Guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds
Before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence
At hand
But I keep livin' this day like
The next will never come

Oh help me but don't tell me
To deny it
I've got to cleanse myself
Of all these lies till I'm good
Enough for him
I've got a lot to lose and I'm
Bettin' high
So I'm beggin' you before it ends
Just tell me where to begin

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

Let me know the way
Before there's hell to pay
Give me room to lay the law and let me go
I've got to make a play
To make my lover stay
So what would an angel say
The devil wants to know

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against

Because he's all I ever knew of love
The End

Yup. That's me right now.
I feel like a criminal for being careless with a delicate man. I should have to carry around a big red letter to pay for my crime. Not necessarily an "A"...maybe a "C".
"C" for careless of course.
Oh boy, what do I do now?

Well, after gettin' a bit stir-crazy at home all day, a little "coffee-lime" outing was welcomed with open arms! "Yaaaaay!" I thought to myself, "I'm goin' out!!"

It seems to me that every time there's a mixed gathering, somehow the topic of relationships and the differences between men and women, keeps cropping up and tends to dominate the converstion!
With all the time and energy that everybody seems to put into discussing these things, you'd think that we'd actually have a clue! It appears to be quite the opposite actually: we still don't know diddly squat about the opposite sex and we all make WAY too many generalisations!

I DID however learn a couple things last night:

1.) Men can be just as harsh and picky towards women, as women are towards men
2.) The correct direction to tweak your man's nipples is anticlockwise!

I feel like rambling....and I've decided that whenever I get that feeling, I'm gonna run with it instead of stifling it.

They say it's not healthy to suppress your feelings, and in spite of my knowing this, I find I'm still a big Feeling Suppresser with regard to feelings that when expressed will most likely cause conflict or confrontation.

On the positive side, I find I'm good at analysing myself!

C.O.T.
I feel like goin' out....who can I get on such short notice? I think I should start up a dating service. There seems to be a market for it!

Hmm, as bajans do we say "dating"? Like when ya go to the movies with a potential flam, do we call it a date? If not, then what??

Back to my dating service...on second thought, I think Barbados may be too small a community for that kinda thing. Though...a variation might actually work out...


Y'know...I think I like Japanese food.

Toldya I felt like rambling.

This here blog is dedicated to my baby: Colin Farrell.

Last night I watched Phone Booth and I was reminded of why he is the apple of my eye, my snookums, my boo...
1.) He's absolutely gorgeous
2.) He can actually act.


The very first time I laid eyes on this man (Minority Report) I knew it was love, and I knew I'd never look at another man the same way again!
Those sexy eyebrows...those eyes...that hair....that accent...normally I'm not attracted to a pottymouth, but I can definately make an exception with this Irish boy.

Yummy.

I used to be one of those people who used to think that honesty is the best policy in a relationship...that you should always be open, that you should be free with your heart, and give it willingly and fully, cuz that's the only way to truly feel alive.
I can't remember which movie brainwashed me into believing that bullshit and I can't remember exactly when I stopped being so naive.

What do you do when someone gives you their heart, pours out their feelings to you so openly, exposing their vulnerability to you ? I'll admit, these days everyone else is so guarded, bitter and jaded, that this display of honesty and naivety caught me off-guard. I'm feeling a little over-whelmed.
Doesn't he know how easy it is to get hurt?
Doesn't he realise that you have to protect yourself above all?

If someone told me 5 years ago that I'd be sayin' these things, I woulda called 'em a "big ol' meanie", and run off crying.
Now, I say NEVER let 'em know how much you really care! NEVER let 'em know the whole story.

:(

Okay, so I'm back from my cruise....and I'm suffering from SEVERE Post Cruise Depression (PCD)!
There just aren't words to describe the absolute magnificentocity that I enjoyed for the past 7 days (See? I have to make up completey new words!)!
The food...oh my goddess, the food! An inconceivable abundance of food! And to my delight and relief, I discovered that I didn't gain one single pound while on board! Then again...I DID go dancing every night, so I guess I burned off all the calories I consumed.
Unfortunately, I didn't get to pull at anyone since all the hot guys were taken. And w'loss, there sure were a lotta fat people on the ship!

Now, I'm back and I have to deal with all the stuff I escaped for that one magical, wonderous week: constant cleaning, cooking, miserable men in the house.

C.O.T.

I realised some things about myself on this cruise too:

*I'm a morning person (the only one I know too!). Not that I wake up early all the time, but that I can go from snoring to sunny and cheerful in 60 seconds.

*I can be quite an ice-queen when I'm ready. Someone would be being totally sweet to me, and all I can think about is how much I wish they'd go away. Callous and indifferent are the words to describe me while in "ice-queen" mode, and I hate when I get like that because it makes me feel ugly.

*I'm a hopeless romantic. I try to hide it and react with scorn to any "mushy" moments I see, whether on tv, or on the faces of the couple strolling along
the beach a few yards away, but I secretly wish I could have that romance in my life.

*I'm a big chicken. Why can't I learn to truly live my adopted motto of "Carpe Diem"? There're so many things out there I wanna do, but I don't because I'm too friggin' scared! Scared of what other people will think, scared of rejection, scared of failing. I need to get over this.

*Sometimes I like being in the limelight too, dammit. Especially when it's for something that I'm good at!

I gotta get my ass back on a cruise ship!

Yesterday was my last day at work. My coworkers got me a "goodbye" pizza! Wasn't that sweet of 'em? Actually it was my short Venezuelan supervisor's idea, which kinda makes me feel bad for not liking her. Plus she said she got me a gift....now THAT has me somewhat suspicious.

Tomorrow morning I head off to Puerto Rico to catch my cruise ship. This is gonna be off the hizzle! Hope there're some nice, single, CUTE fellas I can pull at on board!!
Heheh, and the best part is, they won't be able to run no where neida!
They're mine! All mine!!!
The point is, I probably won't be able to blog for a week. So miss me for a week.
I hope de ship don't sink!

Despite being all congested and achy, I made it to the hair salon yesterday.
That's right...I got my hair cut. It wasn't as painful as I'd imagined either!
My hair seems so much shorter now, but surprisingly, the urge to commit suicide over this is non-existent!
My hair's actually kinda cute. This won't stop me from growin' it to hell back out though.

Lesson learned: Embrace change. It ain't all bad.

I'm home with a cold. *sniffle*
Why I'se gotta get sick every two months on average? Why is MY immune system so whack and everybody else runnin' around just oozing with good health?
I eat my veggies. I excercise. I drink nuff water. I take my vitamins. I refrain from makin' out with complete strangers.
What more do they want from me??

I get colds so often, I think I'll turn pro soon. Tha's how good I am at blowing my nose. I don't even bother with painkillers or Vicks.
Those are for amateurs.
I've been through it all before, and I can take my sore throat like a woman. Swollen glands no longer phase me.
I'm a trouper.

C.O.T.
I gotta start packin' for my trip. Aaargh, what a hassle.

Last night I had a hot dream about my ballroom partner. Wonder if that had anything to do with the fact that he got kinda upset at me at practice, and was in one of his "moods" for the rest of the night...
I gotta brush up on my Freudian psychology.

C.O.T.

I've been accused of giggling too much! Wha's up with that?? If I find somethin' funny, am I s'posed to hide it? Laughter is a good thing people! It shows happiness to be alive and all that crap. PLUS it burns calories!

Love
Bashie Giggler

Well...it's my last week at work and also the last week before my cruise! Can't wait!

C.O.T.

Right, back to kissing. I gave you my worst, so now I'll give you my best.

Picture it: the middle of the night, empty (yet well-lit) beach, two friends frolicking on the sand, trying to repress their obvious attraction for each other, yet unable to resist the taboo of being alone...together.
When the "catch-me-if-you-can" childsplay subsides, the conversation turns less...innocent. It's like a dare now...adrenaline is flowing and nerves are high. We stand toe-to-toe, neither wanting to back down from the challenge. He holds my hands tells me to close my eyes. I swear he can hear my heart beating. He's so close now I can feel his warm breath on my face.
I feel intoxicated..."Now." I whisper.
And then he kisses me. So soft, and yet I feel the electricity. Only the stars witness our confession.

That was the sweetest, most chemical kiss I've ever had, and I think the high level of anticipation played a big part in that!

Aw man, when can I have some more of that?

I feel the need to get this off my chest.
As annoying as The Self-Righteous Idiot is sometimes (the only guy in my office), he IS an attractive man, and he has some sexy hands.
Now I would NEVER admit this if I thought there was a chance in hell that he would ever read my blog.
There I said it loud (cybernetically anyway).

C.O.T.

What's in a kiss?
Ade over there talkin' about de "sauce" ;-) but let's backtrack for a sec to to wha's known as first base.

Now, I love kissing. In fact, as far as I can remember, I've only had one horrible kiss (lucky me) and that was my first official one. It was all slobbery and I believe the first thing I exclaimed after he pulled away was "Ew!".
To this day I have no clue how he feels about that!

More on this topic later!

Right now I'm on SUCH a high!

I feel wicked and bright and all-mighty and OH-so right!

I feel like I have the entire island all to myself!
I feel like a sun with many, many planets in her orbit...like a goddess, even!
What the hell did they put in that yogurt?

Oh, the feeling ya get when the very one who's been acting all distant and aloof, admits that he has feelings for ya! Ha! It's like I've won!
Yes, it's a delicious feeling! It's raw power and it tastes like barbequed spare ribs!

Mwah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa!

I'm sensing a general feeling of disgust for everything feminine.

Every-so-often,ya hear somebody say "You's run/throw/fight/act like a girl!" And this is used and understood as an insult.

Why aren't masculine traits used as insults?

Even other women get in on this action. I know chicks who'll smugly remark "I don't wear skirts, da's too girly, boh!"
When did being girly become a bad thing?

It's gotten so bad that there are actually people who refuse to wear pink, a perfectly normal colour,just like any other.
Have we all been brainwashed? Where does this disdain for femininity come from?

I for one, am not gonna forsake my gender. I'm a woman, dammit, and I can be friggin' girly if I blasted-well want to!

Right now I feel like being a bitch. Like my aura has become a poisonous purple-black cloud.
I feel like being very cruel to someone, and I have to try very hard right now NOT to be cruel to those who are around the most, yet deserve it the least.

Apparently it helps to write about it, because even as I type these words, I can feel that oppressive black cloud dissipating...giving way to a peaceful, translucent green aura.
I'm feeling better already.

C.O.T.

How does one determine "Who You Are"? One measure by which I define who someone is is by what they do...how they live their life.

How then, do you forgive someone who has basically lied to you about how they've been living their life for the last 5 years? Do you really even know that person after all?
How do you feel when you discover that, all along, someone you trust had more in common with those people whom you trust about as far as you can throw?
Betrayed, disgusted and confused, that's how.

Rats, I feel that purple-black "bitch" cloud coming back again.

Low Point Of The Day or Possibly The Week:

The car driving in front of me on the way to work this morning, hit a dog. The poor thing ran off, yelping in pain and it looked like one hind leg was broken. I felt so sorry for him/her, and I think the driver was shaken too, because he drove under 40 kmph for the rest of the time we were behind him.

Now I have no clue what to do in these situations...Ade, Shelly, if y'all are reading, advise me...
Should we have tried to take the stray to the R.S.P.C.A.? I've heard that injured dogs tend to snap at approaching strangers. Would the R.S.P.C.A. come and pick up the dog if someone called and reported it?
I just don't know.

It's been a couple days since Grand Kadooment....and I think I'm gonna be ok.
People, I'm afraid I almost DID "brek off muh waist"! I tell ya, that jump-up was so long and tiring! I'm definately not as young as I used to be.

I have to work tomorrow....
tomorrow which is Emancipation Day...for which the whole concept is to NOT WORK!!
Unbelievable.
They wanted me to work on August 4th too, but my brays of raucous laughter drowned out any attempt to pursue that issue. At least I get to be comfortable....Daanz sings "In Those Jeans".

C.O.T.
I figured out a way to satisfy my cookie urgies and avoid feeling guilty. See, what I do, is get the cookies andshare them with whoever is in my vicinity! That way, I spread around the calories! Ingenious, huh?

C.O.T.
The coolest guy I've ever known has left me and gone back overseas. :(
I told him I'd miss him...that's the first time I've ever told anyone of the opposite sex that and meant it so thoroughly.
That's gotta count for SOMEthing.
:'(

Yet another hype weekend!
Bus tour all Saturday and BoatYard all Saturnight (Thanx 2 Lani for this rather appropriate word).
Man, I wukked up like I've never wukked up before...I have a bruise on my knee to show for it too, yuh. Can you say "battle scar"? I've officially been named a Pooch Back Girl by the authorities on the subject! Whoah yeah.

As with everything, this bashment weekend had it's downside too, and with that I bring to you:

Things That Annoy Me Crop Over 2003 Edition:

1.) That people feel the need to ask "Wait, you ain' bade??" if they catch you with your wrist band from a fete the night before (or even the week before). They're plastic now people! You can bathe with them on!

2.) Those neanderthals who pelt garbage from their cars into the beautiful St. Joseph countryside. And then, if you point out the error of their ways, they cuss you! Animals! Tha's how people get lock up, cuz I would have happily shot each of them in face.

3.) Men who can't seem bend their minds around the fact that I do not want to dance with them!

4.) People who reason that I'm in their way when all I'm doin' is sittin' on de hill like everybody else!

5.) When de fella I got designs on gets drunk. Of what use is a drunk man to me? No hip coordination...not able to recognise that I'm flirting with him...not able to recognise me, period, come to think of it!

*Sigh*

Ahhh, people there ain't nothin' like a good sandwich, hear? Yes, sandwiches are one-a my favourite foods and I'm gonna list my top Sandwich Spots around the island.

If you're lookin' for a:
1.)Ham 'n' cheese sub- try New York Pizza. Simply Scrumptious!
2.)Mince meat sub- Pizza Man Doc is the ONLY place to go!
3.)Chicken sub- Head to Kristoff's in The Old Spirit Bond. You can TASTE the love in it! *Note: love often comes in the form of mayonnaise. :)
4.) Brie & roasted eggplant sub (mango chutney optional)- Run, don't walk, to THe Lunch Club. It's 'bout 10 minutes from Lester Vaughn (the school, not the guy).
5.) Cheeseburger- Get thine ass to Mustor's, in McGregor St., B'town! I cannot stress how orgasmic these cheesburgers are! And $5 for a good lunch sweetens the deal!

Thank me later.

I'm so silly. Why was I so worried yesterday? Everything turned out ok.
Disappointment only lasted 24 hours, and by golly, I got what I wanted afterall!
Next time, I'm just gonna chill out and not get so wound up over nothing!

Aw man...I'm in "puppy mode" again: deliriously happy! Lacking some serious sleep, but still happy!

Silly, crazy and feeling loved!

Last night I was Disappointed.
Y'know, you never realise how much you were looking forward to something until you can't have/do it.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this Disappointment was what disrupted my sleep pattern last night (went to bed early and woke up late), and is also why I'm feeling pensive and dismal right now.
Why am I so worried? The opportunity'll come again, right?

Aw man...my weekend was just....fabulous. I wish all my weekends could follow in the footsteps of the one that just past.
It was so good, I can't even blog about it. How wierd is that?

Highlight of The Day

I JUST gave our DHL guy a kiss for his birthday.
Never mind his birthday was at the end of June.
Woo!

It’s a dreary, soggy scene on the outside today, and I’m afraid my mood is reflective of the weather. Sometimes I get horribly tired of listening to other people talk. They just go on and on, and it’s so tiresome trying to pick the useful information from what seems like endless blather.

C.O.T.
Update on my hair situation: I tried to put my hair in thousands last night, but I could only manage the front part of my head by myself and my mother refused to help me do the back. Why is she doing this to me? If she loved me, she’d do my hair!
Anyhow, so no-one in the office has said anything about my drastically different hairstyle today. I take that to be a bad sign. Schuupes, cyan please nobody.

C.O.T.
Right now I feel like the poorest woman in the world that I have no-one to soothe my aching shoulders with a pair of strong hands and some warm almond oil.
Woe is me.

That's IT! I have GOT to do something with my hair!
My co-workers told me today that I look like an old lady, and the reason for this, is that I wear my hair too severely!
And the fact that my mother has been telling me the same thing for months in an effort to get me to straighten my hair, only adds to my distress!

Well THAT is just not an option. The day I straighten my hair is the day I've lost hope and given up the battle.
Time for me to explore more exotic hair options....nubian knots....flat twists...."thousands" ....maybe even, dare I say it....extentions?
What the hell, bring on the bright blonde "boxy duster" braids! Bare bashment, boy! (Say that 10 times fast!)

You only live once!

I got a little practice with my future partner Shane last night at ballroom. It's so funny how dancing is the same as any other kind of relationship:
each of us needs to get accustomed to how the other moves.
We have to feel comfortable with each other, and there needs to be chemistry and some kind of connection which shows up in the dance.
I got work to do!

C.O.T.
Being yourself can be highly over-rated sometimes. Yes, there ARE things about my personality I'd like to change, but dammit, it takes a strong person to change one's nature and I dunno if I'm that strong.

I just wish I were:
Iron-willed
More affectionate
Open
Motivated
Less diplomatic
Able to escape my own inhibitions
Compassionate
Hungrier for knowledge

I repeat, I got work to do!

Here's the story:

I've been receiving unwanted advances from a bouncer at a certain night spot, and of course I turned him down, but I guess I hadn't made myself clear enough, because he kept buggin' me! So I told him I'd just been through a terrible breakup (not THAT far from the truth), and I wasn't looking to get into anything new.
He seemed to buy that, but THEN, everytime he caught me out, it was
"So you get ova he yet?" or "So when de two-a we gine do dis ting?"
The man just does not stop!

Well, I had had enough of this, so last Thursday I told 'im I was seeing someone (again, not a COMPLETE lie. Heck, I see people everyday, right?).
Brother took it harder than I thought he would!

He started tellin' me about how he though he was, and I qoute, "de next in line" , and how disappointed he was and askin' me, how I could do that to him.

Well...colour me flabbergasted!

I had no clue that Mr. Bouncer Man and I were on dat sorta level. And where did he get the idea that I promised myself to him?
Which raises another question: Was it me? Should I have been more direct?
Should I have said the words
"I am not interested in pursuing any kind of relationship with you, not now, not EVER!" right up front?
That seems so harsh to me.

Sorry 'bout my insensitivity girls, here's the address : www.adiamondisforever.com
Tried to paste the URL but it wasn't workin' out.
Oh well, have fun!


C.O.T.: No. 1 Thing That Irked Me This Week
Those "attention-junkie" type-a chicks.

Yes, I say chicks, because I haven't met any men like this (yet?).
They seem to go out of their way to make everyone (especially males) in their vicinity focus on them, to the point where they become obnoxious, over-bearing, and/or downright pathetic.
They don't know the meaning of the phrases "play it cool" or "Hol' it down."

I thought this kinda thing ended with the completion of puberty!

I know everyone likes some degree of attention, but must they take it to the level where they become bitchy to anyone (usually female) who threatens to steal their "spotlight"?

A friend sent me a link to a website, this morning, on which you can design your own engagement ring, and God help me I tried to resist clicking on it, but to no avail.
Not only did I check out the site, but I ended up designing a kickass platinum engagement ring with a teardrop centre stone and trillion (triangular) side stones!
And I surprised myself by enjoying it!

Why do I entertain such naïve fantasies?

And now, I present to you this week's edition of...

Things I Really Really Wanna Know

Why is it such a common belief that one can catch a cold from getting rained on?
Why, I used to run 'bout in de rain nuff in my youth, playin' up in de mud and ting, and I never catch nuttin' yet! Schuupes.

Why is it that when I'm behaving like a perfectly sane human being, and trying to get everyone's attention to ask a serious, pertinent question, nobody's be listenin' to me, but WHENEVER I lose concentration and start doin' those stupid little things that ya only do when ya sure no-one's looking (e.g. making faces at your reflection in your cup of coffee) EVERYONE catches me?


Why is it that "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate is missing from the song lists of so many karaoke operators?

Why is it that people insist on speaking to me about cars and rallies when I have never given them ANY indication that I give two wukkups about those topics?

Why is it that our short, annoying Venezuelan supervisor keeps buzzing around my desk and interrupting me when I'm trying to blog?


More to come, I'm sure.

I know I should be in bed about now...but I just don't feel like sleeping.

I feel the need to remind everyone that reads this blog, that you never really know anyone.

You may THINK you know someone, but trust me, ya don't! You're only just getting the tip of the iceberg.

Still feeling somewhat isolated..like I'm in some kinda bubble, floating along, only hearing the muffled voices from the outside world through my protective bubble wall.
Or lost away on some desert island, far away from the effects of modern civilisation.
It's the wierdest feeling.

It's official...I always had a feeling, but now I know for sure...
I am abnormal.
Anyone trying to cheer me up will beg to differ...but it stands to reason that if one does not fit in with what is usual, or the norm, then one is not normal and can therefore be called abnormal.
As far as I can tell, I think I'm pretty much alone and that's a scary feeling. :( No-one wants to be alone.
Don't have a choice but to get used to it though.

C.O.T.
Went to my first Band fete for the season, (and my first fete period in a couple months) last night. I tellya, it was nice to get out after a hiatus and see peops and share out nuff hugs and kisses.
Especially cool to see my friend Rolly back in de land. How is it possible to feel such affection for a member of the opposite sex and it still be platonic? De man just irie so.

So far, as a relatively new cellphone owner I've received 4 wrong numbers. If anyone should happen to know the following people, please let them know that I got their calls:

*Mrs. Grovesnor
*Crystal
*Anthony
*Soldier

I've also received a txt msg from an unidentified person to let me know that
"nobody ain't home by Mama."

C.O.T.

Here are a few of my favourite things (not necessarily in this order):

Ultra sheer black stockings
Barbequed spare ribs
Crisp white sheets
Puppies
Short pants fetes
Cookies 'n'Creme icecream
Long, slow (unexpected or otherwise) smooches
The beach on a balmy full-moon night
Palmers cocoa butter
Pina coladas from Cafe Sol
Seeing a scary movie with my best friend
Back (or tummy) rubs

More to come! :)

This new Blogger format is definately gonna take some gettin' used to.

C.O.T.
Yesterday on the van home, this guy struck up a conversation with me. Ordinarily, I woulda tried to ignore any fella that tried that, but his approach seemed so sincere and non-threatening that I couldn't help but relax and just enjoy our chat. The ride seemed so much shorter.

C.O.T.
Something's been bothering me recently about The Mouth (the non-stop talker in our office). She's Guyanese Indian and she uses the word "nigger" occasionally in her stories.
I keep tellin' myself that I shouldn't be bothered by this because she refers to herself and her countrymen as "coolies", but dammit, it DOES bother me.
Even I don't call my own people "niggers", so why should anybody else? Am I being too sensitive? I don't think this debate will ever end.

C.O.T.
There's a birthday today in the office, and we all had wine and cheesecake! Yup, I love this place! If there're any typos in this blog (I haven't bothered to check) it's because I'm on a chardonnay high.
Tee-hee!

C.O.T.
I think I now qualify for the title of Most "C.O.T.'s" In One Blog

I've already told a couple peops about my new-found admiration for a certain pop star, but I've decided to make an official blog about it!

The other day my darling brother downloaded Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty" video....and I dunno, it must be my young, impressionable mind, but I absolutely love it!!
I mean I liked the song before, but good lord, the video! That looks like MY kinda party!
Like I told Kerry, I need me some red panties!! Some chaps wouldn't hurt either!

My quads are killin' me from practicin' that winey "stripper-dip" move she does (ting look SO tough!), but I'm happy to say, that I think I finally have it down!
Yay me!

Signed
Pole-dancer-in-training

Why has my comments section been "Closed For Maintenance" for what seems like a week?
I miss hearing from everybody!
I feel isolated.
No woman is an island...even though sometimes I like to think I could be...I too, need people!

What the hell?
Y'mean I can't miss a day of blogging without the Blogger Authorities changin' the whole setup? Dammit, it's all blue and wierd now. How's a gal s'pposed to get the writing juices flowing?

C.O.T.
Awright...I am NOT gonna make one of those generalised, unfair statements about men...but cheezonbread, it'll be hard.

Why is it that a fella will act like he's into you, and then as soon as he's got your attention, and you've discovered your attraction for him, he does a complete 180?!?!
Here you are, silly naive girl, thinkin' everything's goin' fabulously, and then "he" pulls that whole "distant", "one-word-answer", "not-even-trying-to-carry-on-a-conversation" crap! All in an effort to indirectly tell you he's no longer interested, and drive you away.

Why, dear Lord, why? Do they know that this confuses and hurts? I mean, they MUST know, they're human too and we all hurt the same, right? I wonder sometimes.

But y'know what? I'm not gonna let this upset me!
I'll move on, no fuss, no muss.
I'm on the road to becoming an Ice-Queen.

Okay, I've decided that catchin' a van home isn't that bad afterall.

The Pros:
1.) I have more control over what time I get home, as opposed to when I have to wait for a ride.
2.) I'm doing my part to reduce carbon monoxide fumes produced on a daily basis.
3.) My mum will spend less on gas since she won't have to battle rush-hour Bridgetown traffic.
4.) I feel somewhat closer to my fellow Bajans (except that guy who was pickin' his nose yesterday).
and most important:
5.) I do some of my best thinking while riding in a van! I had forgotten all about that!
See, I'm usually the last person to get off and I tellya, if I'm in a window seat...it's like I relinquish all control and just let myself be driven...
The feel of the wind against my face and the drone of the engine seems to put me into this zen-like state of deep thought....my mind wanders...and I feel like I'm on the verge finding out the meaning of life itself...
Even the potholes and the lack of shocks don't disturb my serenity of mind, body and spirit.

Eventually, I'm disrupted by someone barking " Ey yow brownin'! Part you gettin' off? Listen, wake she dey fa muh!"

I seemed to have snapped out've my funk...at least temporarily.
I was actually singing and dancing as usual around the office. Yee-ha!

Y'know, I've discovered at least ONE positive thing about our short Venezuelan supervisor's presence in this office:
my sense of hearing has become sharper since she's come here!

I’ve trained myself to listen very carefully for the muffled “flip-flop” of her mules against the linoleum as she approaches from behind (wonder if I can be considered "X-men" material now...).
This is necessary to avoid gettin' caught while doin' something I'm not s'posed to be doin'...like blogging for example.
Oh, but how I love doing things that get on her nerves! I know it's wrong, but I can't help it! My Part B is showing!

C.O.T.
Does it make me a bad person if I think The Greatest Love Of All by Whitney Houston is a corny song?

Right now I'm feelin' kinda sorry for myself.

This sucks because I KNOW damn well that this is a useless emotion, and yet, I can't snap out of it.
Rix can never be mine, and I just have to live with that.
Man, I hate life. In fact, I hate everything. I'm miserable and I think I'll go to bed early. The least I can do is get a good night's sleep.

Blah.

I'm being referred to, in this office, as Daana "No-man" Linton. What the %$#*& is up with that??? Even the short Venezuelan "supervisor" givin' me heat!
Just cuz I don't constantly tie up the phone line talkin' to a significant other....
Just cuz I don't get flowers or fruit basket deliveries around here...

I gine take up obeah lessons JUST to smite a pox on ALL of 'em!!

I think our short Venezuelan supervisor is trying to ply me with cookies.
It's not going to work though. Yeah sure, if she offers me some Oreos, I'll take 'em, but that doesn't mean I'll like her any better!

Daana the Cookie Whore signing out.

It's been a while since I've caught a van from the River Road van stand all the way home, but I caught one yesterday evening.
Well, I guess I've been spoilt by all these years of havin' a car at my immediate disposal because I dunno if I can take that van-catching thing everyday!

Here's the run-down:
I get to the van stand: there're only TWO Route 11 vans there (there used to be whole fleet last time I checked)!
I squish into the 2nd van, and it turns out I have to sit on one-a the auxiliary fold-out seats because the short, obnoxious conductor decides there's room for a tall, German (or were they Dutch?) couple in this van.
At one point, I had to sit among some schoolboys (which I dreaded) and I tried to do so as gracefuly as possible but the van lurched off and I plopped down nearly right on top of the poor guy! I mumbled my apology and that's when I noticed his friend smiling and looking at me in what I'm sure he thought was a "Sexy Dappa" gaze. 0_0
I quickly turned my attention to the scenery flying by outside.

And then, it started to rain.
I tellya, if any one person had SARS in there, all-a we would haffi dead!

I'm just not sure I'm comfortable with the high levels of intimacy you're forced to develop with complete strangers aboard these things.

This blog probably just upped my "Bouje Factor" by a good a setta points.

Is it just me, or is Father's Day kind of a chore?
Maybe it's just cuz MY father is so hard to shop for!
And he never uses anything we get him!
And he never likes what we cook for him!

C.O.T.

Awright, I'm confused. I just don't know what to do with myself.

Every day, I'm getting to know this guy Rix (short for Lyrics, a nickname which he earned from me ) a little better...and I'm liking him more and more! He's just surprising me, and impressing me at every turn.
The guy decided he'll no longer read my blog because he thinks I need my privacy. I was stunned. I never expected that. It's just so far removed from one of my many mottos:
"If it's out in public, I have every right to look/eavesdrop!"
Of course, he could just be frontin', meanwhile readin' every blasted word I type! But then, I couldn't complain....this IS a public site!
So I guess I have a license to write anything I want about him now.



Whatever happens, I promise myself I will NOT get caught up! If that happens, it's all over. I'll have no respect for myself.
I'll leave that for other people. I pride myself on my ability to remain somewhat distant.

Listen to me tryin' to convince myself!

I'm sittin' here, at home on a Saturday night. I have no desire to party right now. I only wanna do one thing, but there ain't no "cookies" around, darn it.

Y'know, you really gotta be careful who you let into your world of blogging. I find it's much easier to be honest if you know that you won't have to see your blog-readers on a regular basis!

I just love this song.

The Weakness In Me - Joan Armatrading
I'm not the sort of person
Who falls
In and quickly out of love
But to you I gave my affection
Right from the start

I have a lover
Who loves me
How could I break such a heart
Yet still you get my attention

Why do you come here
When you know I've got trouble enough
Why do you call me
When you know I can't answer the phone

Make me lie
When I don't want to
And make someone else
Some kind of an unknowing fool
You make me stay
When I should not
Are you so strong
Or is all the weakness in me

Why do you come here
And pretend to be just passing by
When I mean to see you
And I mean to hold you
Tightly

Feeling guilty
Worried
Waking from tormented sleep
This old love has me bound
But the new love cuts deep

If I choose now
I'll lose out
One of you has to fall
And I need you
And you

I'm woman enough to admit when I'm wrong and boy, was I humbled. I thought I knew what was goin' on, but it was ME who was in the dark.
One of my mottos is "You can learn something from everyone", but I guess I forgot.
My bad... hope I won't be punished for it!

Lesson For Today: Don't underestimate that person sittin' over there...they can probably teach you a thing or two!

What the hell am I gonna do with you Rix? :) Don't go gettin' a swollen head now!

C.O.T.
I feel good.
I knew that I would now.
I feel nice
Just like sugar and spice