Okay.....the show starts in less than 4 hours. Yup, I'm nervous...yet excited.
Gotta keep my mind on Cyd Charisse...my dancing role model. She was smoothness cyan dun. She woulda dun up dis show.

Things to remember:

1.) Keep my eyes up off the floor
2.) Flirt like crazy with Shane for the rumba
3.) Flirt like crazy with the audience for the jive
4.) Put the lollipop down my bra and not just down my shirt (otherwise it'll fall out with all the bouncing around)
5.) Have fun.

Bettina got kicked again last night. I may need one-those "nipple-shields" recently made famous by a certain popstar.

We trained with this supposed "dance coach" who's experience in ballroom is highly questionable (if existant at all!).
I don't think I've ever met a man more full of crap!

Asking Shane & I what we bring to the dance that is "Bajan" (Latin is not and will never BE Bajan)!
Makin' us do all kinds of crazy warm-up exercises like patting our heads, and scratching ourselves!
Pulling our rumba to pieces when we REALLY need to focus on our jive!

Telling us we need to connect, we must have a connection, we must connect with each other, there must be a connection between us, he needs to see our connection, blah-blah-blah CONNECT, blah-blah-blah CONNECT....

I dunno...maybe we just need some velcro to help with this frikkin' "connection"! (Schuupes, why can't I ever come up with these retorts when I'm on the spot?)

Plus, he's got bad breath. Maybe that's due to some food debris stuck in that charming "dollar sign" gold cap adorning his right upper incisor. Ugh.

Warning: The contents of today's blog may come across as somewhat shallow.

I don’t believe this. I finally get my hands on my much-sought-after conditioner, and I use it, only to find that it just doesn’t work like how it used to!
Those bastards at the L’Oreal laboratories must’ve changed the formula on me! Great. NOW what am I gonna do?

C.O.T.
Dad taped my guest appearance on Mornin' Barbados this morning, and I must say, I look quite retarded on camera.
One word: Ew.