Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Awright, I can't help it...I have GOT to share my thoughts on this.

The Ms. Universe Pageant.

From its title, I would've thought that this pageant would make more sense if it was representative of more universal or diverse standards of beauty.

But I swear, you could swap the heads around on all the contestants and, except for skin colour differences, the audience would be none the wiser! This is NOT diversity. Why are they trying to tell the world that only one body type is beautiful?

And now onto the hair: all the contestants seem to have this "long flowing tresses" thing goin' on...even the ones of African decent, for whom this style is unnaturally obtained. Is this a prerequisite for being considered "Ms.Universe" material?

I'll be behind these pageants when I see some sexy thick girls up there workin' it, alongside their slim sisters.
I'll be behind them when I see some elegant dreadlocks adorning the heads of a couple finalists.
I'll be behind them when I see some more contestants UNDER 5'10", for heaven's sake!


The other point that irks me about these things, is that it really exposes the cruelty in the average John/Jane Doe on-the-street. These girls are up on a pedestal for the whole WORLD to judge...and judged they are! Even the most unlikely people see fit to harshly tear into the contestants' appearances and highlight every perceived flaw.

"Look at she! She teet' too big!"
"You, she reaaal boney, doh!"
"Wait, but how she qualify tuh be in dis ting??"
"Uh-uhhhh, she dress look stink!"

Why are people so harsh? Does it make them feel better to point out the faults in others?
It makes me sick to hear it.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Okay, so I don't think anybody noticed anything different about me yesterday...boob-wise, that is. However, my shoulders are killing me right now, and I haven't figured out for sure if this is bra-related yet. Of course, it could be due to the "Battle Of The Sexes" tug o'war match I was involved in at the picnic yesterday.
My kingdom for a massage.

C.O.T.
Drunk people are so frigging annoying. I think from now on, I'll refuse to be introduced to anyone who's drunk at the time. It's pointless: they invariably make asses of themselves for their first impression, and they won't remember your name 3 minutes after you say it anyway.

*Daana rolls her eyes*

Monday, May 31, 2004

Today I'm goin' to a picnic and roadtesting my new Victoria Secrets strapless push-up bra. It's somewhat padded too. I wonder if anyone'll notice.
Oh, the thrills of new undies!

C.O.T.

I just love watching dancers. They all seem to have this inner peace about them...they're so comfortable with their bodies. They just exude this aura of confidence...as if they all belong to a special club with rules and rituals that ordinary folk can't even begin to understand. Even the way they walk across a room is different.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Most Interesting Observation Of The Week So Far

I've been reading the ingredients of a couple of the cheaper brands of that blue "icy" muscle rub stuff...and I've discovered that a few of them contain nonoxynol-9!
Now why would they put a spermicide in an ointment for achy-muscle relief?
Hmmmmmmmm
Perhaps I have stumbled upon something that runs deeper than anyone can imagine...

C.O.T.

I have to admit, living alone with my brother isn't as miserable as I thought it might be. He's actually more cooperative when the parents aren't around. Who woulda guessed.

Saturday, May 22, 2004

I managed to wriggle out of my movie date. Phew.
I DID have a good reason though...I had to help work on some costumes for a performance on Sunday night! I realise that I really need to learn to sew. It would be so handy to be able to do more than just mend socks, hem skirts and attach buttons.
I'd step out de house looking like a black Paris Hilton every frikkin' day, dred! Only not as skinny.

C.O.T.

Starting today, my brother and I have the house to ourselves for the next week! That's right, de parents are off to New Orleans, the home of Mardis Gras! I warned my mother that I better not see her flashin' nuttin' on "Girls Gone Wild: The Over-40's Edition"
The more I think about it I shoulda warned my father too...he's got a rather disturbing exhibitionist streak in him.

Slight C.O.T.

My Dad has his annoying traits, but one thing I gotta admire about the man, is his stoicism! Pain just is NOT an issue for this guy! Last night, while frying some chicken, the oil spattered up and covered his entire hand!
(You know wha's ya whole hand covered in boiling oil???)

Dad didn't even gasp! He just walked quickly over to the sink and said "Somebody get me some ice-water." Meanwhile, Warren and I were running around like chickens without heads tryin' to get the ice for him as fast as we could! I mean, he always plays down any pain he may have, but he impressed the hell outa me that time, boy!
Cha, de same time he got burnt, an oil splatter, about the size of your average saliva golfball, had hit me in de backside, and even THAT little thing, made me squeal!
Props to Dad, a real macho man!

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Wow, it's Thursday already...this week went faster than Lil Rick's waist at East Coast last year.

Man, I had such a grand ol' time LAST weekend, that I feel like getting out and being social again THIS weekend too!
Unfortunately, dance practice/performance will be taking up a big chunk of my party/lime schedule. Rats. JUST when I was gettin' the hang of it again.

Interestingly enough, I find myself with a movie date for this Friday night. A little voice inside me keeps whispering " Ammmm, y'know Daanz, this may not be such a good idea." But I can't help myself. After all, I DO wanna see this movie...so what if it's with that weirdo. As long as he doesn't try anything...odd, it should be okay.

C.O.T.

Daana's Tips For Good Livin'

Whenever you're takin' a shower, don't forget to pay special attention to all those oft-ignored nooks and crannies on your body. Ya never can tell where someone is planning on sticking their tongue!

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Well...that sure was one heck of a birthday weekend.

The whole thing started on Thursday night. I went bar-hoppin' in the Gap wid my bro and my best friend who oversaw my endrunkenment. I don't think I'll be running THAT route again any time in the near future. I can handle bein' tipsy, but dat "drunk" ting ain' fuh me at all! Too much energy is spent making sure I neither do nor say anything stupid. One thing I've noticed is how much more attractive everyone else seems while under the affluence of incohol.

Friday night, I headed on over to Xtreme with my main mission being to hunt down Mr. Beautiful from last Saturday.
Pretty sad, I'll admit, but still not as sad as what happens later on.
This boy proved to be quite a challenging target. He reFUSED to stay put! All night long de man was walkin' up and down, in and out like he was on a frikkin' tour. And when his ass finally settled on spot for more than 5 minutes, he'd be talkin' to one girl or another. It was quite a draining experience.
Finally, I got to dance with him again...and then...it happened. The man pulled a "save me" manouvre on me!
Y'know, that move where you wanna get away from whoever's talkin'/dancin' with you, and you signal to your friend to save you by pretending to whisper in your ear about something important...

Talk about messin' with my head. I tellya, I just don't GET that dude. And I thought I was lookin' pretty cute that night too. Was he blind? Unfortunately, I still think he's fine. Ah well.

My Saturday turned out to be much better. Here're the highlights:

* Watching 2 yummy-lookin' young tings at de beach, glisten in the sun as they rubbed cocoa butter all over their torsos. Haha! I just love objectifying men!

* Dinner with a certain bunch of S.i.n.ners! Even though I was the only one who had boogie-fever, it was still a nice time! Thanks again Ana!

Sunday, May 09, 2004

First of all, since I didn't get to go online yesterday, lemme take this opportunity right now to wish Lani Daisley a very Happy Birthday!! And remember girl, no matter what, you'll always be older than me! :)

C.O.T.

And now...I have something else to report...I...I don't even know how to begin, I'm just so pleased with myself!

First contact has been made, people!

That guy...that beautiful young man, whom I was so content to admire from afar at so many past fetes...finally asked me my name last night!
Those long, lingering looks definitely did not go unnoticed by him.

And we even got a chance to chat a little, despite regular interruptions by cock-blockers of both sexes!

As I suspected, he said he's kinda shy and he isn't much of dancer, which disappointed me a little until I asked
"So if I asked you to dance with me...would you?
To which he responded "Well, yeah!" Brutha man ain't too bad either!

Turns out he's leavin' to study soon, so it's a good thing I got to talk to him when I did.

See? My way of flirting may not always be the most obvious, nor may it achieve the fastest results, but I STILL got HIM to approach me first!
And THAT's what I wanted!

A world of seduction can be found in only a glance.





Thursday, May 06, 2004

Wow. I just have nothin' but respect for Avril den. At first sight, I thought she was this weird lil' semi-rocker tomboy, but after I paid attention to her lyrics, I can't deny that the girl has a purpose.
Like I told Ana, the girl's lyrics are so real, it's like she's havin' a conversation.

Don't Tell Me - Avril Lavigne

You held my hand and walked me home, I know
Why you gave me the kiss, it was something like this, it made me go oh oh
You wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears, why did you have to go
Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love, guys are so hard to trust

Chorus
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that
Girl the one who gives it all away

Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time
Did you think that it was somethin' I was gonna do, and cry
Don't try to tell me what to do, don't try to tell me what to say
You're better off that way

Don't think that your charm and the fact that your arm is now around my neck
Will get you into my pants, I'll have to kick your ass and make you never forget
I'm gonna ask you to stop, thought I liked you a lot, but I'm really upset
Get outta my head, get off of my bed, yeah that's what I said

Chorus

This guilt trip that you put on me won't mess me up cuz I've done no wrong
Any thoughts of you and me have gone away

Chrous

Better off that way
I'm better off alone anyway


That song right there, is gonna be a positive influence on SO many impressionable young girls.

C.O.T.
Oh, I figured out what the problem with o.b. was: too much friction!
The trick is to smother the damned things with lube! After that, it's smooooooooth sailing!

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

What IS it with old people??

Grandad: Hmm...I'm all out of orange juice.

*I don't look up from my newspaper as I didn't realise what he was hinting*

Grandad: Yes, I'm definately goin' to need some orange juice.

*I figure it out*

Me: Ok, want me to nip to de supermarket and get some?

*Grandad pretends not to hear me and instead keeps muttering to himself about having no o.j. for tomorrow morning*

*I keep reading my newspaper*

Grandad: Ok, so you'll go for it for me then?
Me: Sure.
Grandad: Wait...what car you drivin'? You have your mother's car?
Me: Um, no, I'd just use yours.
Grandad: No, no. I don't think so. Can't take the chance of gettin' it hit. I'll go for the juice myself.

What the frig was THAT about?? I offer to do HIM a favour, and he responds by insulting my driving skills??

Well, I never!

Monday, May 03, 2004

So I went to the cinema to check out Dawn Of The Dead...and it wasn't bad except for a few predictable moments when a couple of the main characters did something stupid like charge out into a crowd of zombies to save a dog, or hide a pregnant zombie-wife so that those mean non-zombie people wouldn't shoot her.

I STILL prefer 28 Days Later to D.O.T.D. though. Less comedy, more spine-chilling horror! Plus some sporty British accents.

C.O.T.
Well, I've done it again folks, developed one of my ridiculous minor crushes on yet another poor unsuspecting male. This time he's tall, dark and obnoxious. Thank god he has a woman already.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Things That Turn Me Off In A Dude (Especially If He's Trying To Chat Me Up):

1.) Indifference to the law, especially when it concerns his own safety.
Only bothering to put on his seat belt when hefeels like it? What the hell is that about? I hope he gets fined. Twice.

2.) Being an inconsiderate driver period.
Refusing to dim his lights for oncoming traffic tells A LOT about his personality.

3.) Making a habit of abrubtly changing the topic when I'm speaking.
Friggin' hell, this is just so rude and it shows that he really doesn't give a rat's ass what you have to say.

4.) Tryin' to guilt-trip me into callin' him.
Look, if I don't call him, it means that I didn't need to speak to him. Simple. Plus I don't see why I need to call him if he's the one doin' the pursuin'. Geez, I have other things to occupy my time.

5.) Makin' it all about him.
If a fella is tryin' to win me over, good grief, the last thing he should do is lecture me on everything that HE likes, and that HE knows, and that HE does, and that HE wants. It just won't work.
He needs to show ME that he finds me intriguing...that he wants to know about ME. Then, when I notice that I still don't know a damn thing about this guy, I in turn, become fascinated.

6.) Arrogance
Just because I show an interest in him, doesn't mean that he's the smoothest, mack-daddiest, most pimpin'-est playa in the game. No, for all the "skillz" he has, not one of 'em will do a damn thing, unless I'm feelin' that attraction to him from the get-go. Some fellas have this idea that if they "get" the girl, it's due to their irresistable "game".
To which I say no, it's because the girl ALREADY considered him and then decided to let him in...AND because he hasn't screwed up yet.
So he needs to stop feelin' so pleased with himself and get down on his kness and say "Thank you, Ma'am!"

Modesty in a man is SO sexy.

Monday, April 26, 2004

Mmm, this weekend was almost totally uneventful for me. I went almost nowhere, and did almost nothing!
And for once, I'm not disappointed in the least! I pampered myself from the tippety-top, right down to the tippety-bottom.
My family didn't get on each other nerves at all this time, but instead, we coexisted happily and even got in some quality time.
Can you say "Awwwwww."?

In fact, except for being called a liar, I'd say it was one of the most relaxing weekends I've had in a while.
I tellya, unbelievable.
I chalk it up to exam stress tho.

C.O.T.

This new printer we have here in the office is reaaaaallly testing my patience. But y'know what? I reFUSE to let it make me crazy...we just have to understand each other.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Attention Everybody! Don't panic. The following is a pretend-blog.
You know how I roll when I have nothin' to blog about.

Right, so yesterday I had the operation to replace my femur with a titanium alloy rod.
Yup, this baby's gonna be around long after the rest-a me becomes worm-food!
I'm gonna make all my friends start callin' me "Bionic Woman"!

Anyhow, I've been relocated to a public ward at the good ol' QEH, and cheezonbread, in here FULL of interesting characters!

On my right, there's a wrinkly old lady who complains every time I use my laptop, cringing in her bed and mumbling about all the "radar waves" it's givin' off. I ain' sure, but I think she has gall bladder problems.
On my left, there's a young gun-shot victim who thinks he's a real playa, talkin' 'bout "My friend, dem pajamas is fit you real sexy."
Whenever his crew comes to visit, I draw my partition curtain, and pretend to be sleeping. They scare me.

In the bed obliquely opposite to mine, there's this fat, middle-aged red guy dat keeps lookin' at me funny. I haven't heard him say a word since I've been here, and I have no idea wha's wrong with him, but everytime I look up, I catch him staring...THERE! He's doin' it again! Right now, as I type!

Can't wait to go home.








Sunday, April 18, 2004

Give me a drinks-free Mardi Gras at BoatYard over a a regular Club Xtreme night, ANY day!!
Love me my open air, casual fetes man!

And let me just say...it's nice to be pursued.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Y'know, there comes a time for one to realise that no matter what ya do, ya can't make someone else care that you exist if they don't.

There've been certain fellas on my msn list that, despite my best efforts to strike up a conversation, never seem to find me any more interesting than a bowl of high-fibre cereal.
I guess I can't be mad at the idiots, after all, I gotta be honest with myself, there are some people on my list that I'd rather not speak to either.

The point is, I'm now ready to do a little MSN house-cleaning. Time to let go of the past, and share out a lil' B & D treatment (Block & Delete).

Yeah yeah, it's really easy for me to say I"m gonna move on and so much harder for me to do it.
One step at a time, I say.
Last week I cleaned out my closet, and all those old clothes I don't wear anymore, I either threw away or put 'em aside for a charity clothes drive.

That right there is a personal achievement.

Hey, maybe I'll clean up my Blog Buddy list too...got bare inactive blogsites 'bout de place man!

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

It's been a week since my last blog and I'm totally guilt-free.

A long, fabulous Easter weekend will do that for ya: erase all the negativity in your aura!

I tellya, this was the break I needed! Just like a weapon of mass destruction, my ass hit the beach hard!

Yesterday was somethin' else though. Not only did I manage to get that sun-kissed, "island-girl" skin tone, scope out the eye-candy, and socialize with the Lanster, but I ALSO slipped in an aerobic workout! Quite unintentionally, of course.

Yes, while attempting to enjoy a leisurely dip, I was accosted and manhandled by one of my brother's cheeky friends! Well, I never!

Actually, I kind of liked it, but I'd never tell him that. I'd never give him the satisfaction.

Hmm, now how to get him to manhandle me some more...

(Never mind my shoulders still ache from the first assault.)

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Something's been on my mind recently, and I kept trying to tell myself that it doesn't bother me, but fuck that, it does.

Even though I told all of 'em well in advance, not ONE of my friends came to check for me at the competition (Lani, you're excused).
That hurt because I was stressed out about it for weeks and I coulda used a friendly face there...y'know...it's always nice to at least think that someone has your back.

Cha, I'm really disappointed in one person in particular. It wasn't too long ago that I found myself accompanying him to everything that interested him.
And now, he never finds the time to show any support whatsoever for something that means a lot to me.

What have we learned this time?: I was born alone and I will die alone. Don't depend on other people too much in the time between.


Monday, April 05, 2004

The Hair Chronicles

In an effort to reduce breakage in my hair, I've started sleeping with a satin scarf around my head. I've heard this works. We'll see.

C.O.T.

Found out that the Push-up King/Pep-Talker from ballroom, can also roll his belly. I've never seen a six-pack ripple like that before. Wow.

C.O.T.

My week's off to a good start!

I jumped outa bed this morning, running around like a chicken without a head, trying to get the garbage out in time for the truck.
I dunno, but I think they've installed new engines in those things. They USED to wake you up at 5:30 in the morning from a block away with that god-awful rumbling and you'd have plenty of time to get the garbage out without being seen in your nightie, but recently they've been cruising silently around the neighborhood, leaving ya to scramble!

So this morning I had to swallow my pride and take the trash out to the garbage men, in my full "Just-Fell-Outa-Bed" glory: nightie, head-tie, scrunched-up sleep-face and everything.

Then the garbage man said "Good morning, beautiful!"
Cha, gotta say, I felt good, even though it came from a guy who sees nothin' but smelly rubbish first thing in the morning.

Can't even say what he looked like...my eyes were still sleep-blurred!

Friday, April 02, 2004

Why couldn't he have apologised?
I put aside MY ego and said I was sorry....why couldn't he? What, he didn't think he did anything wrong?
He friggin' abandoned us 2 weeks before the competition, and suddenly he finds somethin' to bitch about?
And why, in the name of all rhyme and reason, couldn't he have talked to us about it PRIVATELY instead of trying to make it everybody else's business as well?

Maybe I'm the one who's wrong.

In fact, no! I'm NOT wrong! He's too old to be havin' ego trips!

Daana's Reminders: Having more grey hair than black, is NOT necessarily a sign of maturity or wisdom.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

I fear that an evil force is trying to weasel its way into my life.
The thing is, I don't think he even realises that he's evil! I may have to clue the brother in.
He's been calling me for no apparent reason for the last couple days, and I'm very suspicious. Last night he called and started off the coversation with the usual small-talk: "How ya doin'?", "What're your plans for the night", etc.

Eventually, he get's to the point of the call:

Evil Force: So listen, I need you to do me a favour.
Me *eyes narrowed* :Uh,.....what?
Evil Force: Me and a couple guys are stranded. I need you to come pick us up in St.John.
Me: What???
Evil Force : Yeah, I just need a lift home. We're all really drunk.
Me: ****, I am NOT leavin' my house to go out in de middle-a nowhere to pick you and your friends up! What the hell happened to your friend's car?
Evil Force: Oh, all 4 tires got slashed. Right, so ya comin'?
Me: WHAT???? How did...? In fact, NO! Why the three-a y'all doan go and catch de bus???
Evil Force *whining*: The bus? Naw man, tha'd decrease our pimp status. Look, here's the mission...ready to hear the mission? (Mission?)
Me: ****, be serious. Look, I goin' to bed.
Evil Force: Ok, I guess I frigged that up. G'night, talk to ya later.

Schuuupes, the nerve of him...actin' like we on DAT kinda level. I don't think that's the last I've heard of him.

C.O.T.

And now,
The Highlight Of My Day So Far:

On the spur of the moment, I treated myself to a water massage on a Hydrobed!
Mmm-mm, and it was good! It tickles a little bit when the pressure is applied to the buttocks area, but nothin' I couldn't handle!
Got up feelin' TOTALLY relaxed. In fact, so relaxed was I, that I couldn't get rid of my goofy smile nor walk in a straight line, for a good couple minutes afterwards.
And I didn't even have to take my clothes off.

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Had an encounter with that weirdo "cultural officer" again. He said my collarbones "aren't happening".
Now what the heck is THAT s'posed to mean?? As if I don't have enough to worry about without adding my collarbones to the list.
He also commented that my neck muscles could use some strengthening. He recommends that I find a partner and start kissing. Dear Lord, please don't let that be a come-on. I will run, screaming, if I detect even the slightest hint of a flirt from this man.

C.O.T.

Shane has apologised profusely for treating me like shit over the last two months, and has even given me a bomb-diggy present to show his appreciation for my refusal to let him give up!
I, in turn, have been the perfect example of a gracious partner and refrained from slapping him upside the head and yelling "I TOLD you so!!!"

All's well in Daanesville for the time being.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

I can't believe it.
Shane and I are now the reigning Strictly Latin dance champions!
We won BOTH the advanced categories last night! When they announced the winners we just stood there for several seconds, eyes bugging and mouths agape. I'll bet we looked like real poppets. No-one was more surprised than us. I felt like crying.

I guess I was just remembering all the frustration Shane and I went through, much of which was because of someone who was s'posed to be on our side, but instead, we found out, was waiting for us to fail.

Turns out that some people are just sore losers though. Which brings me to:

The "Unsportsman-like Conduct Of The Night" Award

This award goes to that bitch who threw the pep bottle at us when we were announced as the winners. And to think, she was talkin' good with me before my category too! Ha! She musse was upset cuz she get eliminate in HER category! And to top it off, she bandy too, cuz she miss wid de bottle!


Oh, and special mention goes to whoever tief de matching panty part of my costume (AFTER I performed in it, mind you.).
I tellya, what a night.

Friday, March 26, 2004

Bloody hell...I'm nervous.
My stomache is alive with the fluttering of many, many butterflies.
And the worst thing is, I don't feel like I can share this with my partner because the boy does not care.
Man, if I'm like this now, I don't know how I'll manage tomorrow.
The more I think about this competition, the more I feel like throwing up.
I just know I'd feel better if I had a willing partner, after all, we do feed off each other's energy.

I find that I have to keep reminding myself to breathe.

Looks like none of my friends will be able to make it tomorrow night. Great.

Please Lord, make him come to his senses.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Geez, nothin' is quite as boring as listening to/watching parents marvelling over the antics of their young child. I hate having to feign interest.

C.O.T.
Only 2 or so more days to go....why is he doing this to me? I hope he plans to "bring it" on Saturday night.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Awright now...here's the Cliff Notes version of

My Weekend
Friday night:

Went to Club Xtreme (compliments of Lani) for the first time in, geez... I dunno how long. Wasn't bad at all except for my usual problem: the blasted smoke. I came out absolutely reeking!


Saturday:

Another exTREMEly frustrating practice session. and this time it wasn't because of my partner. Well not entirely, anyhow!
I was havin a dificult time catchin' on to the steps and our instructor really wasn't makin' it any easier for me. I felt like crying and screaming , but I held it in until I drove away afterwards. I really felt defeated...for a brief moment I was actually convinced that there was no WAY I could be ready for this competition. Not in 7 days!!
Thank the Lord this funk didn't last too long.

On a brighter note, I had a visitor! Nothin' like a little company to take your mind off your problems! This dude is the one person who isn't phased by how "far away" I live!

"Yeah," he says on the phone "I comin' 'cross by you now!" as if he lives on the other end of the street instead of the other end of the island! Gotta love 'im!

Sunday:

Man, this afternoon Shane and I were focused! We sequestered ourselves away from the rest of the class, and we went to work! We finally finished our cha-cha routine! Yes! Things are lookin' up! He still has his moody stints but I find that's only when other people are around! If it's just the two of us, he's cool. That boy is too much.
Anyhow, I really think we can do it! 6 days and counting.

Monday:

T minus 5 days 'til the big competition. Is that anxiety I feel in the pit of my stomach, or just hunger?

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Letter to An Ex-Flam

Dear Vern,

It's been quite a while, and most of the time I can say I'm over you, but I realise that only seems to be true when I manage to forget that you even exist.
The fact that you're so over me that you can tell your friends it's ok to pursue me.....bothers me more than I thought it would!
YOU ditched ME....YOU'RE the one who's s'posed to be alone and miserable, filled with regret and lamenting over what an idiot you are. It would definately make me feel better if you were. But of course, you don't even care. I want so badly to hate you, but I can't even manage that because you're so fucking nice.

C.O.T.

Well! I cannot beLIEVE this boy!
What am I gonna do with my partner? Tell me, WHAT??
Now he doesn't want to do the competition at all? What the fuck is THAT all about? After I've had to put up with his sucky attitude for the past few months, he now wants to pull this crap???
I think he's tryin' to get rid of me! I mean, he MUST be! You'd think that after I had a little chat with him about his attitude, and he seemed to get my drift, that he'd cheer the hell up??? Noooo, apparently that seems to be too much for him to handle!
Well, y'know what? I refuse to let him steal my energy! I'm goin' thru with this thing in spite of his sour face. If he wants to bail out, he's gonna have to come right out and say so!

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

I flexed to the cinema the other night to check out Havana Nights: Dirty Dancing 2 and my God, it has inspired me in a whole new way!
Yes, my new goal in life is to hunt down Diego Luna and force him to be my love-slave.

Oh but seriously, I dunno if it was the Cuban accents, or the HOTT nightclub scenes, but I was lovin' it. Makes ya wanna grind on somebody (hee hee).
I still Like Dirty Dancing 1 better, but this one ranks up there too.
Whoah yeah, tha's my kinda movie; can't go wrong with a little dancin' & romancin'!

*Sigh* I hate it when I get so wrapped up in a movie, that after it ends I feel hollow, like a chunk of my soul got ripped out.
I need to see this movie again, like I need my next rack of barbequed spare ribs.

C.O.T.

Turns out that Mr. Pep Talk from the other night, is also Mr. Push-up King! My boy was down on de ground last night doin' all kinda pushups : "knuckle-jumps", "one-handed", and "buxom-dance-partner-sitting-on-your-back" !
Damn! I was impressed!
I guess that explains his broad, muscular upper body which he can't seem to hide, even under those oversize t-shirts...

Breathe Daana,... breathe.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Last night I had a rather frustrating practice session...y'know, the kind where you and your partner don't feel like having anything to do with each other?

Well, I needed a break so I headed outside to cool off and clear my head. One of the newer guys followed me out, sat next to me and asked
"So, how's it going"

"Frustratingly slowly" I replied tensely.
"I can see that" he said, "That's why I came to talk to you."

And then we chatted. He gave me a pep talk, and it really cheered me up.
His openness caught me off-guard since, as I mentioned before, he's one of the NEWER members and, we haven't established anything more than a "general small-talk" type of relationship. Not that pep-talks are common among the more familiar members either! It was just so unexpected, and I was very touched by his gesture.
People don't realise it, but the little things one does, can leave a big impression on others.
He seems so much older than he is.

Little does he know, but he's got a friend in me. Hope I'll have the opportunity to repay his kindness.

Monday, March 08, 2004

I give my weekend a nice even 8 out of a possible 10.

Yup, it wasn't bad at all. Spent all Saturday morning doin' laundry and scrubbing the shower. I tellya, that there burns some serious calories, but no matter how hard I scrub, I can never seem to get it as clean as Mum can!
I feel de woman does sneak a professional in to do it, while everybody watchin' t.v.

Anyhow, that wasn't what earned the high Weekend Rating.

It was the night out wid de girls. We ate, we laughed and we "lick we mouts" (not me though...I rarely have anything to contribute in de way of juicy news cuz nobody friggin' tells me anything).

I vote for karaoke and pizza next time! And strippers.

C.O.T.

Last night I took in the Olympus double feature: Gothika/ House of The Dead.
Gothika was ok, but H.O.T.D. was high grade crap. A downright abomination. Do not watch this.

On the plus side, I was accompanied by a handsome young man who introduced me to the wonderful world of Cheesy Popcorn!

Cheesy Popcorn? Sounds Great! How do I get it?

1.) Go to cinema
2.) Buy box of popcorn
3.) Buy $1 cup of melted cheese
4.) Dump cheese on popcorn
5.) Dig in

Adds a delightfully gooey element to your movie-watching experience.

Saturday, March 06, 2004

Woo!
Petey Pablo did a guest performance on BET's 106 & Park last night and during the interview afterwards, he took off his shirt to show all his 6 tatoos! Eeeeeeeek!
Brutha-man was lookin' MUCH buffer than in the video, and I was glued to my t.v.!

I still think he looks better in the video but he flexed his pecs for heaven's sake! A move garaunteed to make me blush and giggle like a 16 yr. old!

Friday, March 05, 2004

Cold doesn't do a damn thing for morning puffiness.

Not cold spoons, not cold cucumber slices, nothing. It just doesn't work. Not for ME anyway.

Had another "graveyard shift" practice session last night so I had the whole puffy eye thing goin' on this morning. Not pretty.

That creepy dance coach was there again (just when I thought I was safe), but he wasn't that creepy this time. He's just kinda eccentric, or as as he would put it, he has a distinct artistic personality.

"Oh hiiii!" he exclaimed as I approached the studio, "Y'know, I met your mother last week! She's so normal!"

(Huh?)

I decided that "Uh, thanks." was the best response.

He was QUITE disappointed and disgusted to learn that I 'm a meat-eater. He says he and his pals like to poke fun at meat-eaters. He says they point and snicker, and say "Oh, here come the cannibals!"

I'll admit, he stunned me with that one. *Sigh* Why must vegetarians be so corny (Get it? Get it?) ?

It just dawned on me that this is the second blog entry I've made about this character.
Dear lord, if I develop a crush on this person, I will kill myself.

Spare Rib Lover signing out.


Thursday, March 04, 2004

I don't know how and I don't know when, but someone unexpected has somehow stumbled across my blogsite!
Accident or other wise,... I wonder....
Hmm, verrrrrrrrrry suspicious!

He's probably reading these words all like now! Are ya? Huh?

I like to keep my everyday contacts separate from my blog, but it looks like they're mingling a little more each day.

I'll try to refrain from censoring myself any more than usual.

C.O.T.

Y'know, I find there's something very sensual about drinking from a glass bottle.
Especially when it's an alcoholic drink ( though it still works for stuff like malt ).

It must be the combination of sensations: the smooth, cool glass and the fizz of the carbonated drink against your lips and tongue, which are a serious erogenous zone, I must say.

And THAT my friends, is the real reason why I mostly say "No thanks, I don't need it in a cup."!

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Yesterday marked one whole year since I started my blogsite! That's right! It's my Blogging Anniversary!! And up to now, it STILL sounds like a cuss word!

I should really take a moment to thank the person who introduced me to this thing in the first place: Marcus a.k.a. The Invisible Man.


I really think I'd like to celebrate this milestone in some way, even if I have to stick one-a those tiny birthday candles in my mashed potatoes (I can eat that! That's an UN-processed carb!)

My Ideal Blogging Anniversary Celebration:

A magical night of Taboo and Pictionary,
With everybody on my Blog links list ( plus some others),
Complete with a chocolate anniversary cake and tequila shots,
Punctuated by subtle flirting from my crush-of-the-week,
And a couple hearty smooches for good measure.

Yup, them there is some good times.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Nothing makes you appreciate having a car at your disposal, like having that luxury taken away from you.
And it IS a luxury.

I guess I'd been taking it for granted, and now I'm bein' taught a lesson. Cha den, I can't do ANYTHING now!

Take now for example...right this minute I'd like to be able to go and check out the $10 double feature at Olympus
(yes, I actually have a free night since my partner decide he ain' practisin'. Schuuupes.)
but can I just pick up and go??
Why nooooo! Because I don't have a car!

Awright, now I'm startin' to feel like a spoiled rich kid, whining about her many "hardships".
There're plenty of people who don't have cars...and they manage just fine.

Monday, March 01, 2004

Even though I had spare ribs for lunch, yesterday was a bad day for me.

My brother was being even more unreasonable than usually. He's turning into a miserable old man before his time and that worries me. He's becoming like Dad...bitching about tiny, inconsequential details and basically getting on everybody's damn nerves.
Yup, it's a Boys vs Girls thing in my household and I hate it. Mum & I are the sunny, easy-going ones, while Dad & Warren are the dark clouds of doom.

I'd say I was in a pensive kinda mood all day. I was reflecting on my life...comparing my views to those of others, coming to the conclusion all over again, that I must be alone, and getting more and more depressed. I tellya, it's disappointing.


And THEN I burnt a batch of chocolate chip cookies.


That was the last straw. I kinda broke down and quietly shed a few tears into my barbequed ribs. I tried not to let anyone notice, but then guess who patted me on the back, and offered comforting words?

My Dad. Yeah, he has his moments, I guess.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Ash Wednesday yesterday heralded the start of the Lenten season and I, Naolat Kukamunga (bet nobody knew that was my last name), the Queen of Self-Deprivation, will be giving up all forms of processed carbohydrates. That's right, no macaronie pie, no toasted cheese sandwiches and CERTAINLY no caramel blondies! .

I ain't scurred tho, I've done this sorta thing before. 40 days ain' nattin!

C.O.T.

The secret phrase is...

"The chicken can stay."

First person to say this to my face gets a free lollipop.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

At last, I have some evidence of personal growth to record!
I think I can finally say that my taste in men is truly ecclectic, and that I can appreciate the beauty in any type!

I can say this since I've developed a crush on Petey Pablo!
I've chosen to look at this in a positive light instead of admitting that I think I've lost my damn mind.
For the first time in my life, I find attractive, someone who fits into the African American, gangsta-rapper, hoochie-mama-lovin' mold.
That voice...those lips.

I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but those platinum teeth covers (or whatever they're called) really work for him.
Dear Lord, what's happening to me?


Freek-A-Leek - Petey Pablo

24, 34, 46, good and thick, and once you get it she'll work wit it.
Put a face and some cute lips, earing and a tongue and she'll know what to do wit it.
Make a name for herself, and she do her shit well, and know how to keep her business to herself.
Come over anytime a nigga call chick, 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock, (ding dong) and she right there.
And she know why she came here, and she know where her clothes suppose to be (off and over there).
Sniff a little coke, take a little x, smoke a little weed, drink a little bit.
I need a girl that I can freak wit,
and wanna try shit, and ain't scared of a big dick.
And love to get her pussy licked,
by another bitch, cus I ain't drunk enough to do that.

[Chorus:]
FREAKALEEK!
(Do you like it daddy?) Shameka
Keisha
(Do you like it daddy?) Tara
FREAKALEEK!
Shonda
(Do you like it daddy?) Sabrina
Crystal
(Do you like it daddy?)Daronda
FREAKALEEK!
Theresa
(Do you like it daddy?) Falicia
Tenisha
(Do you like it daddy?) Sharon
FREAKALEEK!
Monica
(Do you like it daddy?) Monique
Christina
(Do you like it daddy?) Yolanda

[Verse Two:]
I need to know a whole lot then to teachin' a broad, with my ding dong make her tongue tickin the bong.
Go on ahead so I dont have to do that far, I'm spoiled (and I don't like to work that hard).
I like to lay back, relax, and enjoy my time, and let your eyes roll back and my toes curl.
(I love when you do that girl) Until it comes time for me to have to give her hers.
Tell me what you want, do you want it missionary with your feet cramed into the head board?
Do you want it from the back with your face in the pillow so you can
yell it loud if you want to?
Do you want it on the floor? Do you want it on the chair?
Do you want it over here? Do you want it over there?
Do you want it in ya pussy? Do you want it in ya ass?
I'll give you anything you can handle!


Not the most enlightening lyrics out there, but the song has a catchy beat.

Monday, February 23, 2004

Suppose there's this thing that *Tawneesha is not s'posed to do, and she, like a good girl, refrains from doing it...how can one tell whether she refrained because
a) she knew it was the wrong thing to do, or
b) she just plain chickened out despite the fact that she really wanted to ?

And would the reasoning behind her non-action really matter as long as she did the right thing?
DOES the ends really justify the means?

Boy, I'm getting really philosophical here.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

I just KNEW that quasi-b!tch had her eye on my dance partner! I know he's not my property, but she knows bloody well that we have a competiton to train for, and THEN sneaks (yes SNEAKS, cuz she wasn't planning on telling anybody much less ME) and commits him to performing in some other dance show with her???

Why, I oughta jump-kick that uppity heifer in the mouth! It wouldn't be that hard to do either cuz she's short.
And what about him? When was he planning on mentioning it to me?

Why do I feel like I just got horned?

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Ladies and gentlemen, I have reason to believe I have a wierdo on my tail.
Not literally-speaking, of course, but the guy is just too odd for me.
I DID give him a fair chance, but after discovering that he's a closet-freak, I backed WAY off. Thing is, he keeps callin' me.

I guess I'm to blame for not tellin' the dude straight that I'm no longer interested, (more fuel for Govan's endless "Women" complaints) but good grief, if the object of my affection never returns my calls, never makes any effort to see me, and never even sounds particularly enthusiastic to hear from me, I would take the hint, big time!

So why can't he? I'm not worried though. I'll be a woman and just break it to him in person.

How could I have ever considered The Closet-Freak over my Muppet (a.k.a. "Him")?

Monday, February 16, 2004

V-Day has come and gone, and I'm still here in one piece.

I was rudely awakened by a wrong number on my cell phone...then I spent the morning doin' laundry...then I went to belly dancing class with Lani!!

No question, that was THE highlight of my day! Can't beat a good hip-rollin' session!

After that, I had to work for a couple hours. And then I spent the rest of the time alone at home. I'll admit, I nearly lost it there...so I gave up and went to sleep.
Hmmph, soon V-Day will be MY day!

C.O.T.

Webcams are officially my favourite piece of tecnology right now!! Anything that enables me to see my Muppet while he's thousands of miles away, is ALL that and bag of Caramel Blondies!

Friday, February 13, 2004

I believe in making small personal goals for oneself…y’know, first you accomplish the small ones then you move on to the big ones.

Well, one-a my small goals, is to make sure that I smell as good as possible, at all times.
Hence I’ve found myself with a collection of shower gels, lotions, body mists, colognes and scented oils.

When I step out of the shower having just washed & conditioned my hair, and I anoint my body with my Skin So Soft bath oil, I feel like a new woman. And of course I make sure everyone in the house catches a whiff.

Mum: “You smell like suh’in tuh eat!” (She doesn't understand why that'd be a GOOD thing)
Warren: “You smell awright…I guess.” (he says, barely glancing away from his computer game)
Dad: “You smell like a funeral parlour!” ( Would it kill him to say something nice?)

Most times I don’t derive much satisfaction from their responses, but I know that deep down I light up their lives with my refreshing aroma!

C.O.T.

Tomorrow's Valentine's Day...and even though I'm Valentineless as usual, I can't bring myself to denounce it as a materialistic farce of a "holiday". I can't help it, I think a Lovers' Day is a great idea, and I guess I'll keep saving up my V-Day energy for when I finally get myself someone to expend it on.
I tellya, he ain' gun know wha hit 'im! I'll send him roses, dedicate songs to 'im on de radio, I'll take him out for a romantic starlit picnic wid his favourite dessert, soothe him with a scented back-rub, ....damn, I'd be so good to him, I'd wish I WAS him!

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

I was just sifting through the attic of my memory and I came across files on the happy times I had in the St. Michael School Choir.

I guess I didn't realise it then, but I really did have a blast!
I think most people kinda thought the choir was cheesy, but I stuck to it for 5 years, and I enjoyed every minute.
I remember singing in the St Michael Cathedral for Founder's Day service...our voices rising in unison, above those of the other students.
Tears would come to my eyes as I heard my own voice contributing to a beautiful hymn. Those were the times I really felt like a part of something bigger than myself.

And our old choirmaster Mr. Spencer! Everybody else thought he was a real hard-ass, but I knew he was just misunderstood. Anybody who gave us a box of chocolates every Xmas, couldn'ta been THAT bad!

Those were the days, my friend.

C.O.T.
I was a bad, baaaaad, girl today! I ate a whole bag of Caramel Blondies! Now, I don’t know what a blondie is exactly, but these things were like moist, crumbly, nuggets of joy that melt in your mouth. I tasted one, and immediately wanted to praise the Lord and give up men.
I suspect cocaine is one of the main ingredients.

Monday, February 09, 2004

That song GraveDigger by The Dave Matthews Band has got to be the gloomiest song I’ve heard in quite a while, if not ever.
It makes me wanna lock myself in a damp cellar and cry until I pass out.

C.O.T.
Well, the show was pretty good...the tickets sold out!
I did mess up in some of the steps, but nothing big enough for me to kill myself over. The lollipop did drop out, but I was smooth enough to retrieve it in time to the music!
Man, am I relieved it's all over. Now I won't have to see that creepy "cultural officer" again! Hooray! However, I WILL miss wearing fishnet stockings.

C.O.T.
Will anything ever be good enough for my father?

Saturday, February 07, 2004

Okay.....the show starts in less than 4 hours. Yup, I'm nervous...yet excited.
Gotta keep my mind on Cyd Charisse...my dancing role model. She was smoothness cyan dun. She woulda dun up dis show.

Things to remember:

1.) Keep my eyes up off the floor
2.) Flirt like crazy with Shane for the rumba
3.) Flirt like crazy with the audience for the jive
4.) Put the lollipop down my bra and not just down my shirt (otherwise it'll fall out with all the bouncing around)
5.) Have fun.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Bettina got kicked again last night. I may need one-those "nipple-shields" recently made famous by a certain popstar.

We trained with this supposed "dance coach" who's experience in ballroom is highly questionable (if existant at all!).
I don't think I've ever met a man more full of crap!

Asking Shane & I what we bring to the dance that is "Bajan" (Latin is not and will never BE Bajan)!
Makin' us do all kinds of crazy warm-up exercises like patting our heads, and scratching ourselves!
Pulling our rumba to pieces when we REALLY need to focus on our jive!

Telling us we need to connect, we must have a connection, we must connect with each other, there must be a connection between us, he needs to see our connection, blah-blah-blah CONNECT, blah-blah-blah CONNECT....

I dunno...maybe we just need some velcro to help with this frikkin' "connection"! (Schuupes, why can't I ever come up with these retorts when I'm on the spot?)

Plus, he's got bad breath. Maybe that's due to some food debris stuck in that charming "dollar sign" gold cap adorning his right upper incisor. Ugh.

Monday, February 02, 2004

Warning: The contents of today's blog may come across as somewhat shallow.

I don’t believe this. I finally get my hands on my much-sought-after conditioner, and I use it, only to find that it just doesn’t work like how it used to!
Those bastards at the L’Oreal laboratories must’ve changed the formula on me! Great. NOW what am I gonna do?

C.O.T.
Dad taped my guest appearance on Mornin' Barbados this morning, and I must say, I look quite retarded on camera.
One word: Ew.

Friday, January 30, 2004

It's Friday afternoon, and instead of being engulfed in that delicious Weekend energy, I'm pensive and irritable.

How can that boy be so apathetic about our practice sessions? It's only 7 more frikkin' days 'til this @#$&% performance, and he's still being so frustratingly picky about what steps we use in our routine! I could understand his point if we had 2 months, but we only have 7 days!!
He's never seen me in bitch mode, and Lord knows I've been patient with him, but if he keeps this up, I AM GOING TO BLOODY LOSE IT!

I can just feel the frustration and anxiety bubbling inside me like hot, green bile.

I feel like grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him until his teeth rattle! Until realization flickers into his eyes! Until some sort of reasoning is jolted into his rebellious, teenaged mind!

Aaaaaaaaaargh!!!!


Thursday, January 29, 2004

I got to be a guest on Chat Room this morning.
I was nervous before I went on, but after I sat in those big ol' comfy chairs, it was a piece-a cake!
Maybe I should consider a career in televised media!


C.O.T.
My partner kicked me in the boob last night, at dance practice. He apologised profusely, but that doesn't change a thing...I'm STILL gonna get him back tonight. I MUST avenge the pain inflicted on poor Bettina.
Thank heavens Ichiko wasn't harmed.

Gotta look after my "girls" y'know.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Okay, so I finally found my L'Oreal NutriMoisture conditioner.
*big ol' sigh of relief*
This'll play a big part in my effort to grow my hair out.

C.O.T.
I recently bought myself a new bra in an unusual colour....seafoam green!
When it comes to the "boulder-holders" I'm an all-black kinda girl, so this is a definate change for me! I'm workin' my way up to fire-engine red!
I tellya, pretty undies really give you a mood boost!

C.O.T.

He misses me! Unbelievable! Knowing that the one you miss, misses you back, is absolutely stupendous!

Friday, January 23, 2004

When I go to ballroom practice, I make sure that I leave all my issues, and my funky moods at the door, 1.)out of regard for my partner, and 2.)because I came to enjoy myself while learning the routines.

Is it so unreasonable to expect my partner to do the same for me? We’re s’posed to feed off each other’s energy, but if all I’m getting’ from him is sulky, teenaged attitude, how am I s’posed to be able to focus? People need to realize that their own attitude will have an effect, however slight, on those around them.
No man is an island, dammit. He needs to get his friggin’ act together. If he doesn’t enjoy this, why the hell is he here?

C.O.T.
I desperately need to source some L’Oreal Nutri Vive Revitalizing Conditioner. Every place I check seems to be out of stock. Anyone who can provide info onb this product, will be rewarded with some chocolate chip cookies

Thursday, January 22, 2004

My condolences to Lani on her loss. You'll be re-united on the Other Side.

C.O.T.
Yesterday was a most excellent Errol Barrow Day! All I did was eat cereal and watch t.v. for the entire time! Yee-ha, it was bashment! Oh wait, I DID go to ballroom practice the night, so it wasn't a complete success in "couch-potativity".

C.O.T.
Tuesday night, I snapped outa my "I-miss-that-beautiful-man" funk and I went to the BoomTribe fete. Sometimes I even amaze myself at how short-lived my bouts of melancholy are.
I'll never understand why people come out of their homes to go to a party and then stand up with a drink in their hand, and complain about how bored they are!

It's a P A R T Y! Everybody knows what goes on at a party, right? You dance, you socialise, maybe have a couple drinks, and you enjoy yourself! The party-throwers can only provide the location, the music, and the beverages...the actually partiers are responsible for how much fun they get outa the experience! You can't roll into a shin-dig with your face set-up and then wait around for fun to "happen" to you! Gotta put a little effort into it man! Pretty soon, people are gonna expect to have their own waists pelted FOR them!
I can't stand to see young people acting like a buncha stiff-jointed, miserable, geriatrics.

As for me, I shook it like a salt-shaker as usual!

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Today is a bad, bad day.

I wish it would rain. I hate being sad on a bright, beautiful morning.

Monday, January 19, 2004

He's leaving tomorrow...and I'm starting to feel lost already. Dear Lord, what am I gonna do NOW?

Given the circumstances, I think I'll dedicate this blog to Him.

Top Ten Reasons That I Dig His Stuff

He makes me laugh
He's friendly
He treats his Mother with naff love and respect
He's SO creative
He looks like an adorable cross between a muppet and a bunny (and somehow makes it sexy)
His perspective on life is so unique
He can tell me wha's goin' on in his head
He loves to dance
His cheerful, easy-going nature (so easy to love)
He's a good listener


Yup, He's pretty much the shiznit. Almost makes me wanna re-think my view-point on long-distance relationships. Almost. And in a moment of weakness, I almost told Him about my blog! Again, almost! Cheezonbread, dis must be love fa true! Haha!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

I went to the doctor this morning. It’s so intimidating. Every time I go, a nurse hands me a little cup with my name on it and says “Go fill this up in the bathroom.” At least I hope she’s a nurse.
I realized that nobody ever tells me what to DO with it after I “fill it up”. I always just put it on the little table tha’s right outside the washrooms. I guess whoever picks it up knows what to do with it.
And then there’s the near-endless waiting. Seems like you spend an eternity there, listening for when they call your name on the intercom. Usually I’d read a magazine to help me pass the time, but this time the magazines looked a litte lame. Instead, I let my thoughts wander….and I checked out the mother & aughter duo sitting across from me. I could tell from their accents that they were C’bbean but I couldn’t pinpoint their exact origin.
After a while, for no reason whatsoever, I started to find them rather irksome. It’s not like they were bein’ loud or annoying in any way, not even that they smelled bad (they weren’t close enough for me to tell), but somehow, I just found myself wishing they’d get up and leave!
How odd.

Monday, January 12, 2004

Why do people find it so appealing to knock back de booze until they lose all social functioning?
I mean, it’s awright to have a few drinks with your friends and get a buzz and all that, but to guzzle ‘til you behave like a mental patient, throw up, and then finally pass out??? Not only is it unhealthy, but it’s so unattractive (Heheh, do I have my priorities straight, or what?)!

I would never want people to have that image of me stuck in their heads: a blurry-eyed, staggering idiot, without the sense to know when to hold it down wid de liquor.
I can’t count the people I know who start many a conversation with “You! A night I duh SO r**hole drunk dat….” And they’re actually boasting!

Do these people realize how they’re looked upon by their peers when they’re lying outside a club next to a pool of their own vomit? With a mixture of disgust and mild amusement. How could anyone be comfortable with that?

C.O.T.

I can’t believe I felt animosity towards this girl. How could I have been so cruel and insensitive?
I have completely changed my mind; my heart goes out to Her now. She’s “alone”, far away from Her home for the first time in Her life, and She has to watch the man She cares about in the arms of another woman. I’ve been there and it stings like a bitch. He really messed up this time. Now I REALLY feel like takin’ Her out for lunch or somethin’.

Friday, January 09, 2004

I got my fix!

I got to spend a little quality time with Him...again, we weren't actually alone, but She didn't seem as demanding of His time on this round as she was before.

See? I can live with that! I'm an easy person to please (maybe even too easy)! I don't need to dominate His every waking moment....all I'm askin' for is a little attention and affection. And a little goes a long way with me!

She's not bad, just misunderstood.

I'll admit, I was a smidge too quick to narrow my eyes and regard Her with contempt, as slight as it may have been, BUT there's no mistaking it, she DOES have feelings for Him. She’d have to be made of stone if she didn’t! He’s just so frikkin’ loveable! Can’t blame the girl for that, however, she DOES need to recognize the hierarchy while she’s here in Bim.

I’m not worried though. Yeah, she gets to fly back with Him and I only have Him for a few short weeks, but this chick is definitely not a threat to me. I just gotta make my peace with this sitch and make the most of it! Who knows, I may even invite 'er to the movies or suh’in! Afterall, tourism is our business and we gotta play our part!

(Yeah Ade, that WAS the “group thing” you walked in on! ;) )

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

That’s it….I’m officially confused.
Last night was s’posed to be a romantic little rendez-vous for Him and me, but when I went over to pick Him up, my “plan train" came to a screeching halt when his apartment mate, who he brought here WITH Him on His vacation, chirped “So, where we goin’?”

So much for THAT idea! Long story short, my little outing turned into a group thing, and I kept a careful eye on Little Miss Ruin-Daanz’-Fun.
I dunno, her body language leads me to believe that there’s something goin’ on between the little pipsqueak and Him…or at least that it's one of her New Year's resolutions! Needless to say, neither of these two prospects sits well with me.

There’s nothing like a little jealousy to get the Part B showing! She’s probably a perfectly lovely person, but all I can think about is how short and plain she is, and how nasal her voice sounds.

Why in bloody hell, did He have to bring her down here anyhow? I must somehow devise a plan to distract her long enough for me to talk to Him and get to the bottom of this.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Ok phew, now that 2/3 of the Hot Boy crew has returned to their studies overseas (can’t wait ‘til summer when they return to distract me some more), maybe now I can concentrate on Him. Hope He’s ready to concentrate on me!

C.O.T.

Now that the new year is upon us, I find myself pondering certain questions that seem unanswerable to mere mortals…questions such as:

Why does my foot itch every time I wash dishes?
Will my brother really die if he doesn’t taste each yogurt that crosses our threshold, or is he only pretending?
When will I get the nerve to wear my fabulous fake eyelashes out in public?
Will Marcus ever blog again?
How do suicidal moths know when you’ve just poured a glass of milk or opened a tub of margarine?

The answers my friend, are blowin’ in the wind.

C.O.T.

My Grandad’s in the hospital. On the outside he looks bright and high-spirited, but who knows what’s goin’ on within those walls of flesh. We gotta wait for the tests. The doctor, assigned to him, is a young, earthy guy, with a warm bedside manner and an attractive haircut. Guess who’s developed a mild crush on ‘im. I am such a little girl sometimes.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

I can't believe I forgot to post my New Year's resolutions! I must be lapsing. Right, so here I go:

1.)I resolve to at least ATTEMPT to refrain from being too judgemental. There's so much negativity in the world, and I don't want to be one of the contributors. I don't want to be one who is so quick to condemn others who have a different perspective.

2.) I resolve to at least ATTEMPT to stop aquaintances from becoming strangers again. You know how it goes...one week you see someone in the street and you stop to talk, the next week, you just nod your hellos, and the next you walk past each other with no acknowledgement whatsoever! I think it's absolutely tragic when this happens, so by golly, I'm gonna take a stand on this!

This means I have work to do. One of my former best friends has become just an acquaintance to me and whenever I think about it, I feel a twinge in my heart. We've grown apart and it hurts. Well, now I'm bound by my resolution to try to regain contact with this lost sister. I'm going to email her right now.
Maybe I"ll let y'all know how it turns out.

Saturday, January 03, 2004

Partied at Xtreme last night with some groovy Russian peops. They had a surprising grasp on the whole rhythm and dancing thing! They represented and I was impressed!
It was like sardines in a can and WAY too crowded for the Iyah, but to de Ruskies the club seemed fairly empty! Well I never!

C.O.T.

What is it about me that screams "Outside Woman"??? What do I have to do to be "Mujer Numero Uno" in someone's eyes?? Do I need to bitchify myself? Shall I cuss and hit the men? Is that what they like? I don't want to have to drug or liquor them up, but tha's lookin' like what I'll have to do!

Friday, January 02, 2004

I must say, if the rest of the year is anything like the first day, then good grief, I better hang on to my heinie cuz it’ll be over in a flash (the year, not my heinie)!

I woke up around 3:15 pm. Headed to the beach around 4:15 with the Lanster. Hooked up with our favourite Hot Boys of the week. Big up to de original “Toodles” Crew!
Hung out with them for pretty much the rest of the night.

But I must mention the highlight of the day…which leads me to a…

C.O.T.
Right, so when I first saw Him there was a combination of my two main Greeting Options:
I started off walking, then broke into a kind of skippy jog, and nearly knocked him over in my excitement, all the while squealing “Omigosh! Hiiiiiiiiiiii!” I didn’t quite have the guts to layeth the smoocheth down in broad daylight in de middle of Accra though, so I just kissed ‘im on the cheek.
Oh man, this is gonna be epic.



Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Aaaaaaargh!
I don't believe this!
T- 1 hr and 30 minutes to party time, and I'm having extreme HAIR issues!!
I really should known this was gonna happen. I tried out this new steam hair presser tonight, thinkin' I'd be rockin' a straight 'do, but surprise, surprise, this kinda thing (which looks like some kinda medeival torture device) DOES NOT WORK ON NATURAL BLACK-PEOPLE HAIR!

Schuupes, so now my hair looks all frazzled and it's too late to really fix it, so I'm gonna have to pull it back in one! Dammit! This kinda thing can really offset a girl's night!

Anyhow, I guess I'll try to rise above and beyond this minor setback, and focus on the bigger issue here: It's the end of 2003!!!! AAAAAAAAAGH!!!! AAAAAAAAAGH!!
AAAAAAAAGH!!!!




Happy New Year, everybody.
About 10 years ago, one of the little-boys-next-door, who had a crush on me moved away to the States.

Tonight, I heard a knock on the door, I answered it, and who should I see standing before me, but the previously skinny and eye-level-to-a-belly-button, little pipsqueak, now transformed into a handsome, 6'1" 17 yr. old!
I really wished I took a lil' time out to fix my hair before I went to the door.

Cha....he really grew into those big buck-teeth of his.

Lord save me from these young boys!

(I know, I know, I need help, right Spidude?)

Monday, December 29, 2003

The New Year is looming ahead of me and I’m getting a sense of impending doom.
Okay, maybe tha’s a little dramatic, but I’m still feeling rather attached to 2003. I’m not ready for Twenty-Oh-Four. I feel like hiding in my bed, safe under my sheets.
3 more days…Yikes…I’m getting that familiar panicky feeling in my stomach. I need to keep reminding myself to breath.

C.O.T.
On a brighter note, the Coolest Guy I’ve Ever Known is comin’ home in about 2 days and x hours! Yet another reason to hold my breath! All now, I’m tryin’ to decide what’s the most appropriate way to greet him. Should I:

a) Walk up casually, give ‘im a big bear hug and say “Welcome back Star! I miss ya bad enough!”
OR
b) Run up enthusiastically, wrap my arms around ‘im like I’ll never let go, and kiss ‘im like Aragorn kissed Arwen at the end of LOTR, Return Of The King (dat was SO hot!).

Each has its pros and cons.

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Right now, I'm a little overwhelmed at the number of sexy men within my reach. More in a minute.


There should be a lime at Vaucluse every weekend! The vibe was warm and "Woodstocky" as usual! We drank, we laughed, we drank some more, we danced, I challenged some upstart to a wukkin' up competion (we BOTH won, heheh). My butt is sore from wukkin' up on the roof of Lani's mum's jeep. It was a good time, and I wished I could live in that moment forever.
However, I was dragged away to Club Xtreme, which was okay, I guess. The vibe wasn't as warm and free, and I WAS a little tired at this point, but things perked up when I saw the boys.

Boy Number 1: This's the same beautiful guy that I can't help but stare at, whenever he's in my vicinity. The same one whom I can never seem to work up the nerve to approach. I made a little progress last night though: we passed each other in the doorway and shared what I thought was a smoldering gaze. I'll admit, I like the mystery.

Boy Number 2: I dunno why I'm dedicating blog space to this guy, but whenever I see a fella that I'm struck with an instant attraction for, I like to run with that feeling. He had spiky hair, a strong torso and a rugged adorableness to him. Enough with the sentences, let's do this in point form.

* I asked him to dance (props to me!)
*Turns out he can't dance if you paid him.
*He's from Canada which may explain the dancing.
*I didn't mind teaching him.
*He came back for more.
*His name's Mitch
*I'll dream about him for a couple nights to come.

Friday, December 26, 2003

Joy To The World, I say!

Merry Christmas to all the peops out there in Bloggerland. I had a good day, even though I didn't make it to church. I was wiped out! I hope God understands.

Here were my Xmas activities:

1.)Went by somebody for a Garlic Pork breakfast
2.)Came home & chilled for a bit
3.)Went by a next body for lunch
4.)See number 2.
5.)Went to Sunbury Plantation and BASHED THE F*** OUT!

That was exACTLY what I needed! I socialized, I danced, I got nuff Xmas hugs and kisses...it was fabulous! Oh, and warm Hypnotique isn't as bad as it sounds.
I wanna give a shout out to all my BloggerChicks that came out spread the Xmas cheer! You all know who you are!

Yay! And MORE bashin' this afternoon!

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

It's Christmas Eve (duh) and I'm feeling down. I'm here with my family, as I should be and yet...I dunno...I still feel kinda empty.
Maybe it's because we still have no tree up. Maybe it's because we've all been working so hard in the family business, that now we're all too exhausted to enjoy
the warm, fuzzy Yuletide spirit.

Maybe it's because I got reported today for waiting in a "No Parking" zone and because the credit union ATM rejected my card.

Maybe it's because I feel like I'm becoming a recluse.
I don't ever seem to have the time nor the inclination to go spend time with friends anymore. And the less time I spend with my peers, the less I seem to have in common with them.

I'll probably snap outa this semi-funk I'm in fairly soon.

Nothing that a tequila shot and some butter cookies can't fix. Bring on the Sauza.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

I'm absolutely beside myself! The boy next door has a crush on me, and he's absolutely gorgeous! Slight problem, he's only 7 years old.
His parents already have us engaged. I'm under strict instructions to wait another 10 years or so 'til he's ready for me.
I'm 23...what's another 10?

Monday, December 22, 2003

Only 3 more days before Christmas, and we STILL haven’t erected (heheh, I said â€Å“erectedâ€�, heheh.) our tree! I know we’re usually late with this thing, but this time we REALLY cuttin’ it close!

Daana̢۪s Top Ten Christmas Songs:
10.) All I want for Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey.
9.) Any Christmas parang (so lively and festive!)
8.) Japanese Transistor Radio (dunno who sings this one but it cracks me up every time!)
7.)Is that You Santa Claus?- Louis Armstrong
6.)Santa Baby – Eartha Kitt (the Madonna version is too…juvenile )
5.)The Grinch- Busta Rhymz and Jim Carey
4.)Come All Ye Faithful (Had to put a traditional hymn in there)
3.)Jingle Bells- Barbara Streisand (Yknow…the one where she starts singin’ SO fast that ya can’t keep up with ‘er?)
2.) Sleigh Ride – I Dunno Who
1.) That parody of Michael Jackson’s â€Å“Thrillerâ€�, performed by Madd. The one where they sing about your hungry friends that only come around on Xmas day to eat out all de ham and jug.

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Oh man, how to put into words the feeling of utter bliss
When you hear a song,
And it's like that PARTICULAR blend of rhythm, melody and words
Just speaks to you....moves you....flows right through your soul and lifts you to heights...
You feel at one with the music,
And all at once you want to fall on knees
And thank God Almighty for blessing you with ears.

I love me some percussion....gimme a good bass beat and I'll rock all night.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

I tellya, this island is WAY too small! Ya can't get upto nuh kinda mischief at all widdout gettin' catch!
Well then, I guess that makes things more exciting!

C.O.T.
Never underestimate the power of prayer, my people. Ask and it shall be given unto you. And praying for others makes you feel especially warm and fuzzy.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

If sex was materialised into an inanimate object, this
would be it....and this
would be my favourite position.

Talk about releasin' your Part B! Me-OW baby!
So far, this's the most commercial Christmas I've had. I haven't had time for shopping nor decorating, only working to get other people's money.
It's still early...maybe I can work this out.

Monday, December 08, 2003

My Yoga Mat

When I’m on my yoga mat, I’m in my own little world.
I feel invincible and somewhat above it all…
For a brief moment in time, my body is strong and perfect,
And does everything I ask of it.

Speaking of which, I have a Personal Achievement to announce!
I did 3 boy-style push-ups during my Saturday workout! Hell-Yeah!
I usually do the girl-style ones, but this time it seems like I developed the upper body strength to really work it! Yes man! I'se a soje!

C.O.T.

Somebody thought my Mum & I were sisters this morning…I haven’t quite made up my mind whether or not this bothers me.

C.O.T.

I bathed my Granddad’s dog Puppy (yeah, tha’s his name) this weekend. He’s such a drama queen (Puppy, not my Granddad…although Granddad has his moments too).
I had to tie his collar to the gate just so he wouldn’t run off, and THEN he acted like the whole thing was some big traumatizing experience! His body went limp and his eyes glazed over, as if he was tryin’ to astrally project his spirit to a happier time and place. After it was all over and he was lookin’ and smellin’ good, I untied him.
He looked at me in disbelief, then trotted off. Would you believe the first thing that idiot dog went and did, was go and roll up in one setta mud! Schuuuupes.

Friday, December 05, 2003

All day long I was looking forward to chillin' wid him tonight, but I guess I didn't realise how much.

I skipped for 2 extra minutes this afternoon, my energy seemingly boosted by the prospect of an actual date after so long.

I washed and conditioned my hair,then I lathered up with Herbal Essence Body Wash, so ya KNOW I was smellin' good.

I dressed, fixed up my hair and glossed up my lips.

My whole frikkin' aura was in "date mode"....then he called to say he was tired and he was just gonna crash tonight.

Well, I felt like crying. I hate being this disappointed!
Here I sit, at home, alone on a Friday night, looking all cute, and smelling absolutely delicious.
What a waste.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Why people’s gotta be so friggin’ hard-ears? It only seems like common sense to me that if you owe somebody money, you bloody-well PAY them! Ya don’t hem and haw and stall and all manner of foolishness!
Rule No. 1: You don’t fuck around with other people’s money! You just DON’T!

That uppity bitch now got me offset and I can’t even concentrate on workin’.
Aaaaargh! I need me one-a them punching bag things.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

It always surprises me how much some guys are into women's feet.

I mean, yeah, pretty feet are all well and good, y'know, part of the whole package and all that, but for some fellas, The Feet is where it ALL starts!


Realization That Most Surprised Me About Myself:
Turns out I may not be entirely opposed to having my toes sucked.

Yee-ha! Down girl!

Monday, December 01, 2003

Another Independence Day has come and gone.
I thought the radio stations woulda made a bigger deal of it and play some frikkin' BAJAN music for a change. My bad, guess tha's just not the point of our Independence Day.

C.O.T.
Went to Coney Island on Friday, and rode all de baddest rides! Yup, I was a real soldier, and yet I felt like a little girl again! I guess I still am a little girl in the grand scheme of things.

Aw man...I want to blog some more, but I'm just too sleepy....
Y'know, it's a case of the mind is willing but the body ain' able.
I think I'll take the liberty of typing utter rubbish now and blame it on my poor sleep-deprived self.

I kinda want a puppy....but I dunno if I could take care of it...I mean, I've had dogs before, but it's been so long...what am I sayin', of course I could take care of it...I'm a competent young woman...maybe I should get a hamster...I always thought they were pretty cute...I wonder if they bite.....maybe I should get fish instead....they won't bite...wait, tha's not true....fish bite me all the time...Note to Self...no fish...

Okay, time to haul ass to bed now. G'night.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

I’m fascinated by the ethics of BET.

People like Jennifer Lopez, Justin Timberlake, Bubba Sparxx, Stagga Lee, and Eminem will have their videos played back to back on Black Entertainment Television, while many ACTUAL Black people such as Lenny Kravitz and Sonique doan get no airplay atall atall atall!!

Wait! I know! Maybe the name of the network is less about the race of the featured musicians/artists, and more about the genres of music that are typically associated with Black people.
Hmm, I may have a point here…J-Lo, J-Tim, B-Spar and Em, may all be non-Black but at least they perform typically “black” music, WHEREAS L-Krav, and Niqs sing music typically enjoyed more by White people! Wow, that MUST be it, right??

What a load of crap. I happen to know many Black people, including myself, who have very eclectic tastes in music and would welcome Black musicians of ANY genre, even if only to provide a little variety on BET.
And whassup with the owners/producers of BET being White? I don’t have all the facts on this, but I do know that many of the video producers are white. Doesn’t it seem strange that the ones directing these videos and hence dictating what black hip-hop culture is supposedly about, are white?

I smell a conspiracy.

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Invention Appreciation Day!

I’ve decided that every once in a while, I’ll dedicate a segment of my blog to honouring a great invention which has improved the quality of my life.

Today’s invention is The Car!

The car is such an immense convenience and yet it’s virtues often go unsung.

Why, can you imagine if every time I wanted to guh ‘cross by so ‘n’ so, I had to hitch Shaunté de mule up to de cart? It wud tek me 3+ hours to get wuh part I gine! Yeah, it’s a more environmentally-friendly transportation option, but it just about completely rules out goin’ to fetes!

Yes, I find that I too, take for granted, and sometimes even abuse, the privilege of being able to drive a car, and for this I am truly ashamed.

So don’t wait everybody,…hug a car today.

Monday, November 24, 2003

I realise that death does not bother me.
I have completely accepted the fact that we all must die, and that someday I will have to say goodbye to each and every person I know.
When someone passes away, I mourn not because that person has died, but because I'll never get to see them again in this lifetime. Maybe no-one else will understand the difference but that's the way I feel.

Maybe the reason it doesn't bother me is because I don't believe that death is the end. I know our spirits will re-unite with those of the ones we have lost.
I also feel somewhat comforted by the knowledge that those who have passed on, have been relieved of the worries and suffering of this world.

R.I.P. Aunty Betty.

Sunday, November 23, 2003

The ball was last night. I think my performance coulda been better...it was just alright in my opinion. *sigh* The few days after a show or a competion are such an anti-climax for me. I'm on a dancing "low" right now. I'm both physically and mentally exhausted form the last two weeks of rehearsal sessions running late into the night. I think I'll go to bed early tonight.
Next on my agenda is the Jahbulani's "Strictly Latin 2004" Competition.
Whoah yeah. Just thinking about it right now makes me tired.

C.O.T.
I'm not deserving of his affection. He deserves someone who can return his feelings, someone who doesn't care what other people think.
Someone who can just let go.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

I’m lonely…but I think it’s an insincere emotion (if there is such a thing) on my part, triggered by hearing about someone else’s developing romance. I’m perfectly fine most of the time, and this feeling of loneliness only seems to appear within me when I’m lead to believe that everyone else around me has someone to snuggle with. Suddenly I remember that I’m alone, and that I have been for such a long, long time.
One thing I gotta say though, I’m very good at talking myself outa these moods. Self-pity never solves anything.

C.O.T.

I find I like hip-hop WAY too much for someone who also opposes the objectification of women and the extravagant lifestyle promoted in this genre of music.
I can’t help it! The beat just gets a-hold of me and makes me wanna shake it!


Get ready for the percolatuh,
Dj gonna work the fader
C'mon, drop it like a hot potatuh
Everybody let's percolatuh!----Rah Digga

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Y’know, prayer can be just as cleansing as a bar of soap. It comforting to know that I always have someone to talk to, no matter the topic.

C.O.T.
Practice last night was somewhat frustrating…I just can’t seem to keep my balance! The floor WAS slippery, but a good dancer never uses that as an excuse…they just deal with it. We messed up a couple times during the dance and at the end of it, the silence was just as loud as the applause was the night before. I’ll admit, I felt a little humiliated and angry with myself. I know Shane felt the same way too, since his mood changed to sullen and impatient after that. He always wears his heart on his sleeve. *Sigh * Only 4 more rehearsal days before the show too. We’ll need the practice.
And I’m getting nervous about my costume too. Will it be sexy enough? Will it fall JUST the way I want it to? Good thing I have a backup dress. No kick-pants to go with it though, so I better wear decent undies. Heheh!

C.O.T.
Well, I’m off the soup diet, and I’m on to my new and improved (not to mention tastier) eating plan! What I do is eat properly all week long, y’know, lotsa veggies, fruit, fibre, low/no fat/sugar/carbs/salt, then at the end of the week, I allow myself an item from my “Pig-Out Foods” list, so that I don’t have to feel deprived!
This Friday is a spare-rib dinner from TNT. Oh yeaaaaaah, can’t hardly wait.

Monday, November 17, 2003

I was scheduling an appointment into Lotus Organiser, when I took a look at the calender section and right at the bottom it said:

“44 more days”

I panicked!
I mean, I know it’s November 17th, but I never thought of it as
Only 44 More Days Left In The Year 2003!
All I can think about is how time is slipping through my fingers all too quickly! What am I gonna do? All of a sudden I’ve got the urge to find someone and cling to them for dear life! Only 44 more days left! How many people do I have to say “I love you” to? How many old ladies must I help across the road? Should I rush over to the hospital and give blood now, or should I do it tomorrow?
44 Days just isn’t enough time! I need time, I need time, I need time!

Friday, November 14, 2003

Good grief! Why is it that in the nicer clothing stores, the sexy dresses ARE ALL IN SMALL SIZES???
If I was a sensitive soul, my self-esteem would have shot 12 levels lower this morning as I searched in vain for a suitably fabulous formal dress for the ball next week. This is just not good enough!! Are big women not considered worthy of fine apparel?? It’s a friggin’ shame is what it is.
And my search continues.

C.O.T.
My ballroom partner is SO sweet to me! At practice last night, I had a big-time allergy attack (felt like I was gonna lose a vital organ out through my nose!) and I was sneezy and snotty and covered in bits of damp tissue-debris…and he STILL practised with me! He didn’t mind at all he said, as he took my moist, post-sneeze hand. There I was, feeling all self-conscious and gross, and he allayed my anxieties and danced with me. He really made me feel loved and appreciated.
I’m feeling really mushy about now.

C.O.T.
Confession time again! A couple days ago, my dad did some BASHMENT roast pork, and I couldn't resist its tantalising aroma, and I ended up havin' some of it! Yes I cheated! But I don't feel guilty about it cuz

1.) it was protein and not carbohydrate (carbs are the REAL dieting demons) and,
2.) This diet I'm on right now is BARE ish, and I frikkin' DESERVED that pork!

Saturday, November 08, 2003

It's Day 6.
It's unbelievable how the minute you can't have something, it becomes your heart's desire.
Last night I dreamt I ate some pancakes, and I woke up in a semi-panic cuz I thought I cheated! My dad said that people on diets become obsessed with food.
I can see his point.

Weekends will be a real challenge for me, since I'll be spending more time inside my house which is also the home of:

1. A shitload of fattening foods and,
2. My father (who thinks fat women should be assassinated) and my brother (who inherited my father's "skinny" genes).

As you can imagine, those components are about as helpful to me as a brick to the head.

C.O.T.
I'm not happy with the song my partner and I decided on, but I had to give in since none of the songs I picked were the right tempo.
Oh well, this'll give me a chance to hone my skills as an actress....y'know, see if I can bring suh'in special to the song.

Friday, November 07, 2003

I feel like huggin' somebody!

Okay, I've emerged from that cocoon of misery in which I was enveloped yesterday.
Ahhh, feels good to sing again!

I've made peace with the fact that I've only lost 2 lbs, I've accepted that my father is a jerk sometimes, and I've even convinced myself not to take THAT guy seriously, since he doesn't know what the hell he's talkin' about 75% of the time.

Plus, it’s FRIDAY! Hell yeah! My partner and I should be rendezvous-ing tonight, to try to pick out a suitable song to perform our rumba to, for an upcoming ball. That should be fun.

C.O.T.
It’s Day 5 of this diet, and I’m still riding high. Haven’t cheated at all, and tha’s an achievement in itself, lemmuh teyya! Today’s Beef /Chicken/Fish with Tomatoes Day.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

I’m on to Day 4 of this diet. By now, I shoulda lost 5-7 lb according to the instructions. I have lost 2 lbs.
My soup supply is dwindling so I need to buy more cabbage and tomatoes.
I’m feeling discouraged and downtrodden.

C.O.T.
He did it again. He ALWAYS says the wrong thing to me. Can’t he tell when he’s about to say suh’in stupid or insulting, and just shut the fuck up instead?

C.O.T.
There’s no pleasing people. If you’re a bitch, they complain. If you express joy, or maybe just like to have a pleasant expression on your face, they call you an airhead. Well, if I’m happy, I’m gonna fuckin’ show it. “They” can suck out.

C.O.T.
Last night we performed at the NIFCA Finals. I think we did good too. There’s a chance we’ll make it to the Gala. Yay.

C.O.T.
Do I need my father’s approval for my actions? No. But it would it be nice for him to give me a compliment for once or be proud of something in which I was participating.
Shite.

Monday, November 03, 2003

Y'know...maybe there IS suh'in to be said for foreign men.

Saturday night I got to hang out with 6 foine young men from Trinidad, Colombia, de U.S. , and Jamaica, and I dunno if it was just because they were from somewhere else or what, but I've become quite enthralled with these guys!
I never thought it was possible to develop a crush on a group instead of an individual!

One has exTREMEly kissable lips,
one has sexy teeth (you'd have to see 'em!) and locks,
another has a cool, charismatic personality, and can dance
Another seems admirably dedicated to his passion (football),
the next has the whole Asian thing goin' for 'im (I'm very interested in learning more about Asian men *grin*)
and de last one is just an all-round attractive guy, with deep dark eyes.

And of course, all had such different accents. It was a nice change of scene.

Thank you Lani, for my night out with the men!


C.O.T.
Today is Day 1 of this Fat-Burning 7-Day diet I’m on. My sustenance for the next 7 days will mostly be from this cabbage and tomato soup I made this morning.
I had it for breakfast and it wasn’t so bad, but I just finished a thermos full of the stuff for lunch and I dunno how I’m gonna make it through the week.
*Sigh* Right now I’m feeling so very, very, low.


Friday, October 31, 2003

Ahhh, today I have taken an important step in my journey to truly knowing Me. I just love these little revelations of self discovery! I rewarded myself by tryin' out a sub from Mamma Mia's.
Italian sausage with mozarella and sun-dried tomatoes. Bellisimo!

C.O.T.
You! Scandal and conflict is EVERYWHERE! Just when you think everything is smooth and glossy, you realise that's ONLY because you haven't been payin' attention!

And, as usual, this undercurrent has absolutely nothing to do with me, so I'm free to just amuse myself by observing the disguised drama.
See, I have a sneaking suspicion that she's cosying up to my ballroom partner for a reason...she wants to steal him away. I say let her cosy all she wants...he ain't goin' nowhere. Of that, I am sure.
This'll be fun!


Thursday, October 30, 2003

This blog is dedicated to that blockhead who COULDA had me years ago when I was younger and quite frankly, dumber.

You idiot! I was like a puppy back then! I woulda followed you anywhere and given you anything...well maybe not anything, but most of what you asked for, all to try to make you care about me!
And I was so stupid! I actually thought you DID care! I ignored the fact that you never called me and that you used me as your personal taxi service. And when I finally realised what a lowlife you were, you wouldn't even face me like a man! You avoided me like the plague! You frickin' RAN from me, you chickenshit!

And years later, you come waltzing back on to the scene (w'happen, she realise you ain' sayin' nuttin?) wanting forgiveness and yes, I forgave you when I really shoulda spit in your face! But to try to re-kindle that one-sided romance?? Please! I laugh at you now!

In the words of Gwen Stefani :
You want me badly...but you cannot have me!

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

It seems like all the men in my life are suffering from a case of extreme misery.

My grandfather…well, he’s your classic grouchy old man who never goes anywhere, so the only way he can make conversation is by complaining about any and everything, from his electricity bill to his coffee table which he found displaced 2 inches to the left of it’s normal position.

My father…he’s quickly turning into a grouchy old man himself. It shows especially when he’s trying to mold me into “Good Little Wife” material by coercing me to cook. Incidentally, I did some stewed chicken last night with no prompting from him, and um did taste REAL gud yuh! See? When I cook of my own free will, THA'S when you can taste the love in the food. :)

My brother…I dunno wha’s wrong with him, but he like he feel he’s my fadda. Playin’ he hollarin’ out my name and quarrellin’ wid me over stupidness. Sometimes I wish he’d spend more time asleep just so I can get some peace.

My ballroom partner…never before have I met a fella with such sudden mood swings. One minute he’s cool and kixy…the next he’s silent and sullen, and if I try to cheer him up he looks at me wid an expression that says “Why is this piece of human excrement talking to me?”

Or is it just me? Seems like I’m a common facter in their lives…could I be the one makin’ these men miserable?
Man, I doubt it! I think they all just need a good dose of anti-depressants!

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Useless Information

N - my favourite letter
32 - no. of moles on my body.
Red - colour of lipstick I put on this morning (gives me a kind of power rush).
Anything But Ordinary - song by Avril Lavigne, that's been stuck in my head all day.

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident turbulent succulent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby

Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.



Monday, October 27, 2003

Ok, so I guess it’s obvious that nothin’ much has been goin’ on in my life.
Well, maybe not NOTHING…my ballroom studio performed 2 line dance routines at the NIFCA semi-finals and we made it through to the finals! Tha’s SOMEthing, ain’t it?

And yesterday I had a personal triumph…for a while now I’ve been tryin’ to persuade this (mostly online) buddy of mine to come to a b’room class to check out what we do…and he actually turned up yesterday!!

Damn, I forgot how goodlookin’ he is. Too bad he brought some chick with ‘im and THEN left before I could chuck some latin moves at ‘im! He’ll be back though…even if I have to drug & drag ‘im!

C.O.T.
I did absolutely NUTTIN this weekend. I was s’posed to head out to Red Rooster to get the free bar-snack I won in a radio call-in contest on Friday, but my couch was just too sweet Satduh night!
Why do people try to make me feel inadequate for stayin' home?

C.O.T.
For the morning so far, I have sneezed a grand total of 37 times. Sometimes I get the suspicion that I may be allergic to oxygen itself.