Attention Everybody! Don't panic. The following is a pretend-blog.
You know how I roll when I have nothin' to blog about.

Right, so yesterday I had the operation to replace my femur with a titanium alloy rod.
Yup, this baby's gonna be around long after the rest-a me becomes worm-food!
I'm gonna make all my friends start callin' me "Bionic Woman"!

Anyhow, I've been relocated to a public ward at the good ol' QEH, and cheezonbread, in here FULL of interesting characters!

On my right, there's a wrinkly old lady who complains every time I use my laptop, cringing in her bed and mumbling about all the "radar waves" it's givin' off. I ain' sure, but I think she has gall bladder problems.
On my left, there's a young gun-shot victim who thinks he's a real playa, talkin' 'bout "My friend, dem pajamas is fit you real sexy."
Whenever his crew comes to visit, I draw my partition curtain, and pretend to be sleeping. They scare me.

In the bed obliquely opposite to mine, there's this fat, middle-aged red guy dat keeps lookin' at me funny. I haven't heard him say a word since I've been here, and I have no idea wha's wrong with him, but everytime I look up, I catch him staring...THERE! He's doin' it again! Right now, as I type!

Can't wait to go home.

Give me a drinks-free Mardi Gras at BoatYard over a a regular Club Xtreme night, ANY day!!
Love me my open air, casual fetes man!

And let me just say...it's nice to be pursued.

Y'know, there comes a time for one to realise that no matter what ya do, ya can't make someone else care that you exist if they don't.

There've been certain fellas on my msn list that, despite my best efforts to strike up a conversation, never seem to find me any more interesting than a bowl of high-fibre cereal.
I guess I can't be mad at the idiots, after all, I gotta be honest with myself, there are some people on my list that I'd rather not speak to either.

The point is, I'm now ready to do a little MSN house-cleaning. Time to let go of the past, and share out a lil' B & D treatment (Block & Delete).

Yeah yeah, it's really easy for me to say I"m gonna move on and so much harder for me to do it.
One step at a time, I say.
Last week I cleaned out my closet, and all those old clothes I don't wear anymore, I either threw away or put 'em aside for a charity clothes drive.

That right there is a personal achievement.

Hey, maybe I'll clean up my Blog Buddy list too...got bare inactive blogsites 'bout de place man!

It's been a week since my last blog and I'm totally guilt-free.

A long, fabulous Easter weekend will do that for ya: erase all the negativity in your aura!

I tellya, this was the break I needed! Just like a weapon of mass destruction, my ass hit the beach hard!

Yesterday was somethin' else though. Not only did I manage to get that sun-kissed, "island-girl" skin tone, scope out the eye-candy, and socialize with the Lanster, but I ALSO slipped in an aerobic workout! Quite unintentionally, of course.

Yes, while attempting to enjoy a leisurely dip, I was accosted and manhandled by one of my brother's cheeky friends! Well, I never!

Actually, I kind of liked it, but I'd never tell him that. I'd never give him the satisfaction.

Hmm, now how to get him to manhandle me some more...

(Never mind my shoulders still ache from the first assault.)

Something's been on my mind recently, and I kept trying to tell myself that it doesn't bother me, but fuck that, it does.

Even though I told all of 'em well in advance, not ONE of my friends came to check for me at the competition (Lani, you're excused).
That hurt because I was stressed out about it for weeks and I coulda used a friendly face there...y'know...it's always nice to at least think that someone has your back.

Cha, I'm really disappointed in one person in particular. It wasn't too long ago that I found myself accompanying him to everything that interested him.
And now, he never finds the time to show any support whatsoever for something that means a lot to me.

What have we learned this time?: I was born alone and I will die alone. Don't depend on other people too much in the time between.

The Hair Chronicles

In an effort to reduce breakage in my hair, I've started sleeping with a satin scarf around my head. I've heard this works. We'll see.

C.O.T.

Found out that the Push-up King/Pep-Talker from ballroom, can also roll his belly. I've never seen a six-pack ripple like that before. Wow.

C.O.T.

My week's off to a good start!

I jumped outa bed this morning, running around like a chicken without a head, trying to get the garbage out in time for the truck.
I dunno, but I think they've installed new engines in those things. They USED to wake you up at 5:30 in the morning from a block away with that god-awful rumbling and you'd have plenty of time to get the garbage out without being seen in your nightie, but recently they've been cruising silently around the neighborhood, leaving ya to scramble!

So this morning I had to swallow my pride and take the trash out to the garbage men, in my full "Just-Fell-Outa-Bed" glory: nightie, head-tie, scrunched-up sleep-face and everything.

Then the garbage man said "Good morning, beautiful!"
Cha, gotta say, I felt good, even though it came from a guy who sees nothin' but smelly rubbish first thing in the morning.

Can't even say what he looked like...my eyes were still sleep-blurred!

Why couldn't he have apologised?
I put aside MY ego and said I was sorry....why couldn't he? What, he didn't think he did anything wrong?
He friggin' abandoned us 2 weeks before the competition, and suddenly he finds somethin' to bitch about?
And why, in the name of all rhyme and reason, couldn't he have talked to us about it PRIVATELY instead of trying to make it everybody else's business as well?

Maybe I'm the one who's wrong.

In fact, no! I'm NOT wrong! He's too old to be havin' ego trips!

Daana's Reminders: Having more grey hair than black, is NOT necessarily a sign of maturity or wisdom.

I fear that an evil force is trying to weasel its way into my life.
The thing is, I don't think he even realises that he's evil! I may have to clue the brother in.
He's been calling me for no apparent reason for the last couple days, and I'm very suspicious. Last night he called and started off the coversation with the usual small-talk: "How ya doin'?", "What're your plans for the night", etc.

Eventually, he get's to the point of the call:

Evil Force: So listen, I need you to do me a favour.
Me *eyes narrowed* :Uh,.....what?
Evil Force: Me and a couple guys are stranded. I need you to come pick us up in St.John.
Me: What???
Evil Force : Yeah, I just need a lift home. We're all really drunk.
Me: ****, I am NOT leavin' my house to go out in de middle-a nowhere to pick you and your friends up! What the hell happened to your friend's car?
Evil Force: Oh, all 4 tires got slashed. Right, so ya comin'?
Me: WHAT???? How did...? In fact, NO! Why the three-a y'all doan go and catch de bus???
Evil Force *whining*: The bus? Naw man, tha'd decrease our pimp status. Look, here's the mission...ready to hear the mission? (Mission?)
Me: ****, be serious. Look, I goin' to bed.
Evil Force: Ok, I guess I frigged that up. G'night, talk to ya later.

Schuuupes, the nerve of him...actin' like we on DAT kinda level. I don't think that's the last I've heard of him.

C.O.T.

And now,
The Highlight Of My Day So Far:

On the spur of the moment, I treated myself to a water massage on a Hydrobed!
Mmm-mm, and it was good! It tickles a little bit when the pressure is applied to the buttocks area, but nothin' I couldn't handle!
Got up feelin' TOTALLY relaxed. In fact, so relaxed was I, that I couldn't get rid of my goofy smile nor walk in a straight line, for a good couple minutes afterwards.
And I didn't even have to take my clothes off.

Had an encounter with that weirdo "cultural officer" again. He said my collarbones "aren't happening".
Now what the heck is THAT s'posed to mean?? As if I don't have enough to worry about without adding my collarbones to the list.
He also commented that my neck muscles could use some strengthening. He recommends that I find a partner and start kissing. Dear Lord, please don't let that be a come-on. I will run, screaming, if I detect even the slightest hint of a flirt from this man.

C.O.T.

Shane has apologised profusely for treating me like shit over the last two months, and has even given me a bomb-diggy present to show his appreciation for my refusal to let him give up!
I, in turn, have been the perfect example of a gracious partner and refrained from slapping him upside the head and yelling "I TOLD you so!!!"

All's well in Daanesville for the time being.

I can't believe it.
Shane and I are now the reigning Strictly Latin dance champions!
We won BOTH the advanced categories last night! When they announced the winners we just stood there for several seconds, eyes bugging and mouths agape. I'll bet we looked like real poppets. No-one was more surprised than us. I felt like crying.

I guess I was just remembering all the frustration Shane and I went through, much of which was because of someone who was s'posed to be on our side, but instead, we found out, was waiting for us to fail.

Turns out that some people are just sore losers though. Which brings me to:

The "Unsportsman-like Conduct Of The Night" Award

This award goes to that bitch who threw the pep bottle at us when we were announced as the winners. And to think, she was talkin' good with me before my category too! Ha! She musse was upset cuz she get eliminate in HER category! And to top it off, she bandy too, cuz she miss wid de bottle!


Oh, and special mention goes to whoever tief de matching panty part of my costume (AFTER I performed in it, mind you.).
I tellya, what a night.

Bloody hell...I'm nervous.
My stomache is alive with the fluttering of many, many butterflies.
And the worst thing is, I don't feel like I can share this with my partner because the boy does not care.
Man, if I'm like this now, I don't know how I'll manage tomorrow.
The more I think about this competition, the more I feel like throwing up.
I just know I'd feel better if I had a willing partner, after all, we do feed off each other's energy.

I find that I have to keep reminding myself to breathe.

Looks like none of my friends will be able to make it tomorrow night. Great.

Please Lord, make him come to his senses.

Geez, nothin' is quite as boring as listening to/watching parents marvelling over the antics of their young child. I hate having to feign interest.

C.O.T.
Only 2 or so more days to go....why is he doing this to me? I hope he plans to "bring it" on Saturday night.

Awright now...here's the Cliff Notes version of

My Weekend
Friday night:

Went to Club Xtreme (compliments of Lani) for the first time in, geez... I dunno how long. Wasn't bad at all except for my usual problem: the blasted smoke. I came out absolutely reeking!


Saturday:

Another exTREMEly frustrating practice session. and this time it wasn't because of my partner. Well not entirely, anyhow!
I was havin a dificult time catchin' on to the steps and our instructor really wasn't makin' it any easier for me. I felt like crying and screaming , but I held it in until I drove away afterwards. I really felt defeated...for a brief moment I was actually convinced that there was no WAY I could be ready for this competition. Not in 7 days!!
Thank the Lord this funk didn't last too long.

On a brighter note, I had a visitor! Nothin' like a little company to take your mind off your problems! This dude is the one person who isn't phased by how "far away" I live!

"Yeah," he says on the phone "I comin' 'cross by you now!" as if he lives on the other end of the street instead of the other end of the island! Gotta love 'im!

Sunday:

Man, this afternoon Shane and I were focused! We sequestered ourselves away from the rest of the class, and we went to work! We finally finished our cha-cha routine! Yes! Things are lookin' up! He still has his moody stints but I find that's only when other people are around! If it's just the two of us, he's cool. That boy is too much.
Anyhow, I really think we can do it! 6 days and counting.

Monday:

T minus 5 days 'til the big competition. Is that anxiety I feel in the pit of my stomach, or just hunger?

Letter to An Ex-Flam

Dear Vern,

It's been quite a while, and most of the time I can say I'm over you, but I realise that only seems to be true when I manage to forget that you even exist.
The fact that you're so over me that you can tell your friends it's ok to pursue me.....bothers me more than I thought it would!
YOU ditched ME....YOU'RE the one who's s'posed to be alone and miserable, filled with regret and lamenting over what an idiot you are. It would definately make me feel better if you were. But of course, you don't even care. I want so badly to hate you, but I can't even manage that because you're so fucking nice.

C.O.T.

Well! I cannot beLIEVE this boy!
What am I gonna do with my partner? Tell me, WHAT??
Now he doesn't want to do the competition at all? What the fuck is THAT all about? After I've had to put up with his sucky attitude for the past few months, he now wants to pull this crap???
I think he's tryin' to get rid of me! I mean, he MUST be! You'd think that after I had a little chat with him about his attitude, and he seemed to get my drift, that he'd cheer the hell up??? Noooo, apparently that seems to be too much for him to handle!
Well, y'know what? I refuse to let him steal my energy! I'm goin' thru with this thing in spite of his sour face. If he wants to bail out, he's gonna have to come right out and say so!

I flexed to the cinema the other night to check out Havana Nights: Dirty Dancing 2 and my God, it has inspired me in a whole new way!
Yes, my new goal in life is to hunt down Diego Luna and force him to be my love-slave.

Oh but seriously, I dunno if it was the Cuban accents, or the HOTT nightclub scenes, but I was lovin' it. Makes ya wanna grind on somebody (hee hee).
I still Like Dirty Dancing 1 better, but this one ranks up there too.
Whoah yeah, tha's my kinda movie; can't go wrong with a little dancin' & romancin'!

*Sigh* I hate it when I get so wrapped up in a movie, that after it ends I feel hollow, like a chunk of my soul got ripped out.
I need to see this movie again, like I need my next rack of barbequed spare ribs.

C.O.T.

Turns out that Mr. Pep Talk from the other night, is also Mr. Push-up King! My boy was down on de ground last night doin' all kinda pushups : "knuckle-jumps", "one-handed", and "buxom-dance-partner-sitting-on-your-back" !
Damn! I was impressed!
I guess that explains his broad, muscular upper body which he can't seem to hide, even under those oversize t-shirts...

Breathe Daana,... breathe.

Last night I had a rather frustrating practice session...y'know, the kind where you and your partner don't feel like having anything to do with each other?

Well, I needed a break so I headed outside to cool off and clear my head. One of the newer guys followed me out, sat next to me and asked
"So, how's it going"

"Frustratingly slowly" I replied tensely.
"I can see that" he said, "That's why I came to talk to you."

And then we chatted. He gave me a pep talk, and it really cheered me up.
His openness caught me off-guard since, as I mentioned before, he's one of the NEWER members and, we haven't established anything more than a "general small-talk" type of relationship. Not that pep-talks are common among the more familiar members either! It was just so unexpected, and I was very touched by his gesture.
People don't realise it, but the little things one does, can leave a big impression on others.
He seems so much older than he is.

Little does he know, but he's got a friend in me. Hope I'll have the opportunity to repay his kindness.

I give my weekend a nice even 8 out of a possible 10.

Yup, it wasn't bad at all. Spent all Saturday morning doin' laundry and scrubbing the shower. I tellya, that there burns some serious calories, but no matter how hard I scrub, I can never seem to get it as clean as Mum can!
I feel de woman does sneak a professional in to do it, while everybody watchin' t.v.

Anyhow, that wasn't what earned the high Weekend Rating.

It was the night out wid de girls. We ate, we laughed and we "lick we mouts" (not me though...I rarely have anything to contribute in de way of juicy news cuz nobody friggin' tells me anything).

I vote for karaoke and pizza next time! And strippers.

C.O.T.

Last night I took in the Olympus double feature: Gothika/ House of The Dead.
Gothika was ok, but H.O.T.D. was high grade crap. A downright abomination. Do not watch this.

On the plus side, I was accompanied by a handsome young man who introduced me to the wonderful world of Cheesy Popcorn!

Cheesy Popcorn? Sounds Great! How do I get it?

1.) Go to cinema
2.) Buy box of popcorn
3.) Buy $1 cup of melted cheese
4.) Dump cheese on popcorn
5.) Dig in

Adds a delightfully gooey element to your movie-watching experience.

Woo!
Petey Pablo did a guest performance on BET's 106 & Park last night and during the interview afterwards, he took off his shirt to show all his 6 tatoos! Eeeeeeeek!
Brutha-man was lookin' MUCH buffer than in the video, and I was glued to my t.v.!

I still think he looks better in the video but he flexed his pecs for heaven's sake! A move garaunteed to make me blush and giggle like a 16 yr. old!

Cold doesn't do a damn thing for morning puffiness.

Not cold spoons, not cold cucumber slices, nothing. It just doesn't work. Not for ME anyway.

Had another "graveyard shift" practice session last night so I had the whole puffy eye thing goin' on this morning. Not pretty.

That creepy dance coach was there again (just when I thought I was safe), but he wasn't that creepy this time. He's just kinda eccentric, or as as he would put it, he has a distinct artistic personality.

"Oh hiiii!" he exclaimed as I approached the studio, "Y'know, I met your mother last week! She's so normal!"

(Huh?)

I decided that "Uh, thanks." was the best response.

He was QUITE disappointed and disgusted to learn that I 'm a meat-eater. He says he and his pals like to poke fun at meat-eaters. He says they point and snicker, and say "Oh, here come the cannibals!"

I'll admit, he stunned me with that one. *Sigh* Why must vegetarians be so corny (Get it? Get it?) ?

It just dawned on me that this is the second blog entry I've made about this character.
Dear lord, if I develop a crush on this person, I will kill myself.

Spare Rib Lover signing out.

I don't know how and I don't know when, but someone unexpected has somehow stumbled across my blogsite!
Accident or other wise,... I wonder....
Hmm, verrrrrrrrrry suspicious!

He's probably reading these words all like now! Are ya? Huh?

I like to keep my everyday contacts separate from my blog, but it looks like they're mingling a little more each day.

I'll try to refrain from censoring myself any more than usual.

C.O.T.

Y'know, I find there's something very sensual about drinking from a glass bottle.
Especially when it's an alcoholic drink ( though it still works for stuff like malt ).

It must be the combination of sensations: the smooth, cool glass and the fizz of the carbonated drink against your lips and tongue, which are a serious erogenous zone, I must say.

And THAT my friends, is the real reason why I mostly say "No thanks, I don't need it in a cup."!