Awright, I can't help it...I have GOT to share my thoughts on this.

The Ms. Universe Pageant.

From its title, I would've thought that this pageant would make more sense if it was representative of more universal or diverse standards of beauty.

But I swear, you could swap the heads around on all the contestants and, except for skin colour differences, the audience would be none the wiser! This is NOT diversity. Why are they trying to tell the world that only one body type is beautiful?

And now onto the hair: all the contestants seem to have this "long flowing tresses" thing goin' on...even the ones of African decent, for whom this style is unnaturally obtained. Is this a prerequisite for being considered "Ms.Universe" material?

I'll be behind these pageants when I see some sexy thick girls up there workin' it, alongside their slim sisters.
I'll be behind them when I see some elegant dreadlocks adorning the heads of a couple finalists.
I'll be behind them when I see some more contestants UNDER 5'10", for heaven's sake!


The other point that irks me about these things, is that it really exposes the cruelty in the average John/Jane Doe on-the-street. These girls are up on a pedestal for the whole WORLD to judge...and judged they are! Even the most unlikely people see fit to harshly tear into the contestants' appearances and highlight every perceived flaw.

"Look at she! She teet' too big!"
"You, she reaaal boney, doh!"
"Wait, but how she qualify tuh be in dis ting??"
"Uh-uhhhh, she dress look stink!"

Why are people so harsh? Does it make them feel better to point out the faults in others?
It makes me sick to hear it.

Okay, so I don't think anybody noticed anything different about me yesterday...boob-wise, that is. However, my shoulders are killing me right now, and I haven't figured out for sure if this is bra-related yet. Of course, it could be due to the "Battle Of The Sexes" tug o'war match I was involved in at the picnic yesterday.
My kingdom for a massage.

C.O.T.
Drunk people are so frigging annoying. I think from now on, I'll refuse to be introduced to anyone who's drunk at the time. It's pointless: they invariably make asses of themselves for their first impression, and they won't remember your name 3 minutes after you say it anyway.

*Daana rolls her eyes*

Today I'm goin' to a picnic and roadtesting my new Victoria Secrets strapless push-up bra. It's somewhat padded too. I wonder if anyone'll notice.
Oh, the thrills of new undies!

C.O.T.

I just love watching dancers. They all seem to have this inner peace about them...they're so comfortable with their bodies. They just exude this aura of confidence...as if they all belong to a special club with rules and rituals that ordinary folk can't even begin to understand. Even the way they walk across a room is different.

Most Interesting Observation Of The Week So Far

I've been reading the ingredients of a couple of the cheaper brands of that blue "icy" muscle rub stuff...and I've discovered that a few of them contain nonoxynol-9!
Now why would they put a spermicide in an ointment for achy-muscle relief?
Hmmmmmmmm
Perhaps I have stumbled upon something that runs deeper than anyone can imagine...

C.O.T.

I have to admit, living alone with my brother isn't as miserable as I thought it might be. He's actually more cooperative when the parents aren't around. Who woulda guessed.

I managed to wriggle out of my movie date. Phew.
I DID have a good reason though...I had to help work on some costumes for a performance on Sunday night! I realise that I really need to learn to sew. It would be so handy to be able to do more than just mend socks, hem skirts and attach buttons.
I'd step out de house looking like a black Paris Hilton every frikkin' day, dred! Only not as skinny.

C.O.T.

Starting today, my brother and I have the house to ourselves for the next week! That's right, de parents are off to New Orleans, the home of Mardis Gras! I warned my mother that I better not see her flashin' nuttin' on "Girls Gone Wild: The Over-40's Edition"
The more I think about it I shoulda warned my father too...he's got a rather disturbing exhibitionist streak in him.

Slight C.O.T.

My Dad has his annoying traits, but one thing I gotta admire about the man, is his stoicism! Pain just is NOT an issue for this guy! Last night, while frying some chicken, the oil spattered up and covered his entire hand!
(You know wha's ya whole hand covered in boiling oil???)

Dad didn't even gasp! He just walked quickly over to the sink and said "Somebody get me some ice-water." Meanwhile, Warren and I were running around like chickens without heads tryin' to get the ice for him as fast as we could! I mean, he always plays down any pain he may have, but he impressed the hell outa me that time, boy!
Cha, de same time he got burnt, an oil splatter, about the size of your average saliva golfball, had hit me in de backside, and even THAT little thing, made me squeal!
Props to Dad, a real macho man!

Wow, it's Thursday already...this week went faster than Lil Rick's waist at East Coast last year.

Man, I had such a grand ol' time LAST weekend, that I feel like getting out and being social again THIS weekend too!
Unfortunately, dance practice/performance will be taking up a big chunk of my party/lime schedule. Rats. JUST when I was gettin' the hang of it again.

Interestingly enough, I find myself with a movie date for this Friday night. A little voice inside me keeps whispering " Ammmm, y'know Daanz, this may not be such a good idea." But I can't help myself. After all, I DO wanna see this movie...so what if it's with that weirdo. As long as he doesn't try anything...odd, it should be okay.

C.O.T.

Daana's Tips For Good Livin'

Whenever you're takin' a shower, don't forget to pay special attention to all those oft-ignored nooks and crannies on your body. Ya never can tell where someone is planning on sticking their tongue!

Well...that sure was one heck of a birthday weekend.

The whole thing started on Thursday night. I went bar-hoppin' in the Gap wid my bro and my best friend who oversaw my endrunkenment. I don't think I'll be running THAT route again any time in the near future. I can handle bein' tipsy, but dat "drunk" ting ain' fuh me at all! Too much energy is spent making sure I neither do nor say anything stupid. One thing I've noticed is how much more attractive everyone else seems while under the affluence of incohol.

Friday night, I headed on over to Xtreme with my main mission being to hunt down Mr. Beautiful from last Saturday.
Pretty sad, I'll admit, but still not as sad as what happens later on.
This boy proved to be quite a challenging target. He reFUSED to stay put! All night long de man was walkin' up and down, in and out like he was on a frikkin' tour. And when his ass finally settled on spot for more than 5 minutes, he'd be talkin' to one girl or another. It was quite a draining experience.
Finally, I got to dance with him again...and then...it happened. The man pulled a "save me" manouvre on me!
Y'know, that move where you wanna get away from whoever's talkin'/dancin' with you, and you signal to your friend to save you by pretending to whisper in your ear about something important...

Talk about messin' with my head. I tellya, I just don't GET that dude. And I thought I was lookin' pretty cute that night too. Was he blind? Unfortunately, I still think he's fine. Ah well.

My Saturday turned out to be much better. Here're the highlights:

* Watching 2 yummy-lookin' young tings at de beach, glisten in the sun as they rubbed cocoa butter all over their torsos. Haha! I just love objectifying men!

* Dinner with a certain bunch of S.i.n.ners! Even though I was the only one who had boogie-fever, it was still a nice time! Thanks again Ana!

First of all, since I didn't get to go online yesterday, lemme take this opportunity right now to wish Lani Daisley a very Happy Birthday!! And remember girl, no matter what, you'll always be older than me! :)

C.O.T.

And now...I have something else to report...I...I don't even know how to begin, I'm just so pleased with myself!

First contact has been made, people!

That guy...that beautiful young man, whom I was so content to admire from afar at so many past fetes...finally asked me my name last night!
Those long, lingering looks definitely did not go unnoticed by him.

And we even got a chance to chat a little, despite regular interruptions by cock-blockers of both sexes!

As I suspected, he said he's kinda shy and he isn't much of dancer, which disappointed me a little until I asked
"So if I asked you to dance with me...would you?
To which he responded "Well, yeah!" Brutha man ain't too bad either!

Turns out he's leavin' to study soon, so it's a good thing I got to talk to him when I did.

See? My way of flirting may not always be the most obvious, nor may it achieve the fastest results, but I STILL got HIM to approach me first!
And THAT's what I wanted!

A world of seduction can be found in only a glance.

Wow. I just have nothin' but respect for Avril den. At first sight, I thought she was this weird lil' semi-rocker tomboy, but after I paid attention to her lyrics, I can't deny that the girl has a purpose.
Like I told Ana, the girl's lyrics are so real, it's like she's havin' a conversation.

Don't Tell Me - Avril Lavigne

You held my hand and walked me home, I know
Why you gave me the kiss, it was something like this, it made me go oh oh
You wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears, why did you have to go
Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love, guys are so hard to trust

Chorus
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that
Girl the one who gives it all away

Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time
Did you think that it was somethin' I was gonna do, and cry
Don't try to tell me what to do, don't try to tell me what to say
You're better off that way

Don't think that your charm and the fact that your arm is now around my neck
Will get you into my pants, I'll have to kick your ass and make you never forget
I'm gonna ask you to stop, thought I liked you a lot, but I'm really upset
Get outta my head, get off of my bed, yeah that's what I said

Chorus

This guilt trip that you put on me won't mess me up cuz I've done no wrong
Any thoughts of you and me have gone away

Chrous

Better off that way
I'm better off alone anyway

That song right there, is gonna be a positive influence on SO many impressionable young girls.

C.O.T.
Oh, I figured out what the problem with o.b. was: too much friction!
The trick is to smother the damned things with lube! After that, it's smooooooooth sailing!

What IS it with old people??

Grandad: Hmm...I'm all out of orange juice.

*I don't look up from my newspaper as I didn't realise what he was hinting*

Grandad: Yes, I'm definately goin' to need some orange juice.

*I figure it out*

Me: Ok, want me to nip to de supermarket and get some?

*Grandad pretends not to hear me and instead keeps muttering to himself about having no o.j. for tomorrow morning*

*I keep reading my newspaper*

Grandad: Ok, so you'll go for it for me then?
Me: Sure.
Grandad: Wait...what car you drivin'? You have your mother's car?
Me: Um, no, I'd just use yours.
Grandad: No, no. I don't think so. Can't take the chance of gettin' it hit. I'll go for the juice myself.

What the frig was THAT about?? I offer to do HIM a favour, and he responds by insulting my driving skills??

Well, I never!

So I went to the cinema to check out Dawn Of The Dead...and it wasn't bad except for a few predictable moments when a couple of the main characters did something stupid like charge out into a crowd of zombies to save a dog, or hide a pregnant zombie-wife so that those mean non-zombie people wouldn't shoot her.

I STILL prefer 28 Days Later to D.O.T.D. though. Less comedy, more spine-chilling horror! Plus some sporty British accents.

C.O.T.
Well, I've done it again folks, developed one of my ridiculous minor crushes on yet another poor unsuspecting male. This time he's tall, dark and obnoxious. Thank god he has a woman already.

Things That Turn Me Off In A Dude (Especially If He's Trying To Chat Me Up):

1.) Indifference to the law, especially when it concerns his own safety.
Only bothering to put on his seat belt when hefeels like it? What the hell is that about? I hope he gets fined. Twice.

2.) Being an inconsiderate driver period.
Refusing to dim his lights for oncoming traffic tells A LOT about his personality.

3.) Making a habit of abrubtly changing the topic when I'm speaking.
Friggin' hell, this is just so rude and it shows that he really doesn't give a rat's ass what you have to say.

4.) Tryin' to guilt-trip me into callin' him.
Look, if I don't call him, it means that I didn't need to speak to him. Simple. Plus I don't see why I need to call him if he's the one doin' the pursuin'. Geez, I have other things to occupy my time.

5.) Makin' it all about him.
If a fella is tryin' to win me over, good grief, the last thing he should do is lecture me on everything that HE likes, and that HE knows, and that HE does, and that HE wants. It just won't work.
He needs to show ME that he finds me intriguing...that he wants to know about ME. Then, when I notice that I still don't know a damn thing about this guy, I in turn, become fascinated.

6.) Arrogance
Just because I show an interest in him, doesn't mean that he's the smoothest, mack-daddiest, most pimpin'-est playa in the game. No, for all the "skillz" he has, not one of 'em will do a damn thing, unless I'm feelin' that attraction to him from the get-go. Some fellas have this idea that if they "get" the girl, it's due to their irresistable "game".
To which I say no, it's because the girl ALREADY considered him and then decided to let him in...AND because he hasn't screwed up yet.
So he needs to stop feelin' so pleased with himself and get down on his kness and say "Thank you, Ma'am!"

Modesty in a man is SO sexy.

Mmm, this weekend was almost totally uneventful for me. I went almost nowhere, and did almost nothing!
And for once, I'm not disappointed in the least! I pampered myself from the tippety-top, right down to the tippety-bottom.
My family didn't get on each other nerves at all this time, but instead, we coexisted happily and even got in some quality time.
Can you say "Awwwwww."?

In fact, except for being called a liar, I'd say it was one of the most relaxing weekends I've had in a while.
I tellya, unbelievable.
I chalk it up to exam stress tho.

C.O.T.

This new printer we have here in the office is reaaaaallly testing my patience. But y'know what? I reFUSE to let it make me crazy...we just have to understand each other.

Attention Everybody! Don't panic. The following is a pretend-blog.
You know how I roll when I have nothin' to blog about.

Right, so yesterday I had the operation to replace my femur with a titanium alloy rod.
Yup, this baby's gonna be around long after the rest-a me becomes worm-food!
I'm gonna make all my friends start callin' me "Bionic Woman"!

Anyhow, I've been relocated to a public ward at the good ol' QEH, and cheezonbread, in here FULL of interesting characters!

On my right, there's a wrinkly old lady who complains every time I use my laptop, cringing in her bed and mumbling about all the "radar waves" it's givin' off. I ain' sure, but I think she has gall bladder problems.
On my left, there's a young gun-shot victim who thinks he's a real playa, talkin' 'bout "My friend, dem pajamas is fit you real sexy."
Whenever his crew comes to visit, I draw my partition curtain, and pretend to be sleeping. They scare me.

In the bed obliquely opposite to mine, there's this fat, middle-aged red guy dat keeps lookin' at me funny. I haven't heard him say a word since I've been here, and I have no idea wha's wrong with him, but everytime I look up, I catch him staring...THERE! He's doin' it again! Right now, as I type!

Can't wait to go home.

Give me a drinks-free Mardi Gras at BoatYard over a a regular Club Xtreme night, ANY day!!
Love me my open air, casual fetes man!

And let me just say...it's nice to be pursued.

Y'know, there comes a time for one to realise that no matter what ya do, ya can't make someone else care that you exist if they don't.

There've been certain fellas on my msn list that, despite my best efforts to strike up a conversation, never seem to find me any more interesting than a bowl of high-fibre cereal.
I guess I can't be mad at the idiots, after all, I gotta be honest with myself, there are some people on my list that I'd rather not speak to either.

The point is, I'm now ready to do a little MSN house-cleaning. Time to let go of the past, and share out a lil' B & D treatment (Block & Delete).

Yeah yeah, it's really easy for me to say I"m gonna move on and so much harder for me to do it.
One step at a time, I say.
Last week I cleaned out my closet, and all those old clothes I don't wear anymore, I either threw away or put 'em aside for a charity clothes drive.

That right there is a personal achievement.

Hey, maybe I'll clean up my Blog Buddy list too...got bare inactive blogsites 'bout de place man!

It's been a week since my last blog and I'm totally guilt-free.

A long, fabulous Easter weekend will do that for ya: erase all the negativity in your aura!

I tellya, this was the break I needed! Just like a weapon of mass destruction, my ass hit the beach hard!

Yesterday was somethin' else though. Not only did I manage to get that sun-kissed, "island-girl" skin tone, scope out the eye-candy, and socialize with the Lanster, but I ALSO slipped in an aerobic workout! Quite unintentionally, of course.

Yes, while attempting to enjoy a leisurely dip, I was accosted and manhandled by one of my brother's cheeky friends! Well, I never!

Actually, I kind of liked it, but I'd never tell him that. I'd never give him the satisfaction.

Hmm, now how to get him to manhandle me some more...

(Never mind my shoulders still ache from the first assault.)

Something's been on my mind recently, and I kept trying to tell myself that it doesn't bother me, but fuck that, it does.

Even though I told all of 'em well in advance, not ONE of my friends came to check for me at the competition (Lani, you're excused).
That hurt because I was stressed out about it for weeks and I coulda used a friendly face there...y'know...it's always nice to at least think that someone has your back.

Cha, I'm really disappointed in one person in particular. It wasn't too long ago that I found myself accompanying him to everything that interested him.
And now, he never finds the time to show any support whatsoever for something that means a lot to me.

What have we learned this time?: I was born alone and I will die alone. Don't depend on other people too much in the time between.

The Hair Chronicles

In an effort to reduce breakage in my hair, I've started sleeping with a satin scarf around my head. I've heard this works. We'll see.

C.O.T.

Found out that the Push-up King/Pep-Talker from ballroom, can also roll his belly. I've never seen a six-pack ripple like that before. Wow.

C.O.T.

My week's off to a good start!

I jumped outa bed this morning, running around like a chicken without a head, trying to get the garbage out in time for the truck.
I dunno, but I think they've installed new engines in those things. They USED to wake you up at 5:30 in the morning from a block away with that god-awful rumbling and you'd have plenty of time to get the garbage out without being seen in your nightie, but recently they've been cruising silently around the neighborhood, leaving ya to scramble!

So this morning I had to swallow my pride and take the trash out to the garbage men, in my full "Just-Fell-Outa-Bed" glory: nightie, head-tie, scrunched-up sleep-face and everything.

Then the garbage man said "Good morning, beautiful!"
Cha, gotta say, I felt good, even though it came from a guy who sees nothin' but smelly rubbish first thing in the morning.

Can't even say what he looked like...my eyes were still sleep-blurred!

Why couldn't he have apologised?
I put aside MY ego and said I was sorry....why couldn't he? What, he didn't think he did anything wrong?
He friggin' abandoned us 2 weeks before the competition, and suddenly he finds somethin' to bitch about?
And why, in the name of all rhyme and reason, couldn't he have talked to us about it PRIVATELY instead of trying to make it everybody else's business as well?

Maybe I'm the one who's wrong.

In fact, no! I'm NOT wrong! He's too old to be havin' ego trips!

Daana's Reminders: Having more grey hair than black, is NOT necessarily a sign of maturity or wisdom.