It's Sunday night, after b'room practice. I don't feel like goin' out, yet I don't feel much like sleeping either.

I feel like blogging. I'm in a weird kind of mood right now where I feel like opening my soul right here in my little web-nook, and I have to try very hard to restrain myself, and remind myself that other people read this. Maybe I"ll let myself ramble...

C.O.T.
My dance partner's ex-partner is back in BIM on holiday, and she came to class today so I had to share him. I'll admit it...now, once and for all: I do feel threatened by her. Geez, I hate sayinging that, but I also realise that there're benefits to facing your own human weaknesses.

It's not only that she's such a good dancer that bugs me, it's that she is so obviously an outsider and yet she makes no effort to adapt to our customs in class. This is a quality which I both admire and dislike.
She'll go right ahead doin' full-body warm-up stretches in tight short skirts...she'll go right ahead walking past everyone without speaking, heading straight for the furthest corner in the room,... and she'll go right ahead dancing even the crummiest line dance routines as if she's in a Broadway musical.

Maybe one day I'll be that uninhibited.

C.O.T.
I'm tryin' my damndest to keep from developing a crush on Mr. Push-up King. That'd do me no good whatsoever.

For just a fleeting moment, I was thinking about listening to my mischievous Part B who has recently been whispering things like
"If ya can't get your own man, get somebody else's!"
I think I've snapped out of it...for the most part.

Daana's Weekend Escapades

Friday>

I made the long and treacherous journey all the way up to Baku, for the Baje Int'l band launch. Ahhh, I love Crop-Over. I love seeing people dat ya don't see for ages and gettin' bare hugs and kisses!

Saturday>

Riddle: Why did Daana go to BoatYard? Answer: To dance. In the rain.

Good grief! That had to be THE wettest I've ever been in a fete! Despite torrential showers, the Moonshine Foam Fete was bare sport. So much choon....so much foam.
I have to admit, before this, I was feelin' a little off my rhythm, but I redeemed myself completely and got my booty-shakin' groove back!
And I met the most adorable little boy in de fete too. Heheh, playin' he tryin' to outjuk me? God bless his cute little cornrows.

Sunday>

McBrides, baby.
And who should step up in de place but that beautiful young man, who I just love to admire. Be still my heart.
Even though he gave me the brush-off last time, I was still glad to see him. I can be such a sucker for punishment.
Once again he was accompanied by his two bodyguards. I wonder if he pays them....cuz de men were on-duty fa sure!

*Sigh* And I'm still no better at understanding this boy.

My attempts at striking up a conversation with him were met with mostly one-word, lack-luster responses (even when I tried to break the ice with a couple of my corny comments), and yet, for the duration of the night I noticed that he was sneakin' peaks at me. What the heck is up with that boy?
Awright, so he's shy...I GOT that memo...but geez, if this is the problem, this boy takes shyness to a whole 'nother level that is WAY beyond my scope of perception!
He better get a clue.

And that was my weekend. Three nights...three fetes. I was quite the good little party-animal.

My weekend at Time Out In The Gap was just fabulous!
For the most part, I lounged in my room, simultaneously reading, watchin' t.v. and snackin' on peanut butter (yeah, I caved).
Now this may seem mind-numbingly boring to some folks, but to me, the complete, yet all too temporary, privacy was absolutely invigorating! I was completely alone, doin' whatever I wanted to do (which occasionally included bouncing on the queen-sized bed), nobody callin' my name for anything...it was magnificent.

I even went down and chilled by the pool with the tourist peops. I was the only black person there, and I have to admit, I was feelin' somewhat like a bronze goddess in a sea of pale skin.

And as far as I could tell I wasn't treated any differently from any other guests. The receptionist lady was nice.

Secret Agent Naolat pun de case.

Awright, so this weekend I check into one of the Gems of Barbados hotels, and I've made it my mission to see if I, a local, am treated differently to the guests from "over 'n' away".

I plan to be all up in the pool, the gym, and whatever other facilities they may try to hide from me.

This should be fun.

This morning I had a little chat with my family about our electricity bills. I have a little problem with 'em: they're too friggin' high! The bills, not my family.

I've suggested some ways to cut costs in that area, and they'd better not fall on deaf ears, or I will be forced to put my foot down!

Energy-Saving Tips

Minimize the number of times the fridge is opened by taking everything you need, out at the same time. This is tricky at first, but with a little planning, it'll work out.

For rastaman's sake, turn off all t.v.'s, fans, and radio's if you aren't usin' 'em! It's not rocket science, just press the "off" button when you're leavin' the room!

Try ironing everything you need for the week in one go. This'll seem like a humongous drag, but believe me, it'll be easier on your pocket. Or whoever's pocket the bill money comes from.

There's no need to run to the microwave if your food happens to drop half a degree from "burn-your-mouth" temperatures...just eat it! It won't poison you.

I've nominated myself the official Energy Police in my house, and my family WILL respect my authoritaw! (Who got that?)

Father's Day is nearly upon us, and the only gift ideas I have so far are speedo-style swim briefs, and/or a dvd.
Arrrgh! Why must he be so picky? I've learned the hard way about many gifts that my Dad just won't use.

Unsuitable Presents For My Father:
1.) black leather men's tote with shoulder strap
2.) framed "holographic" waterfall scene
3.) any cologne (he's allergic)
4.) cufflinks
5.) voucher for a para-sailing session
6.) any type of jewellery
7.) silk shirts (see #3)
8.) The Complete Works of Edgar Allen Poe
9.) A bunch-a other stuff which I can't recall right now.

Any tools or electronic devices/equiptment that he wants, he just goes out and buys himself without givin' us the slightest hint. Sigh.

I really gotta put some thought into this too, since he already thinks that we like Mum better than him.

Today's Personal Achievement

This morning I refrained from buying a jar of delicious, yet fattening peanut butter, and got 4 delicious, yet boring apples instead.
Whoopee.

C.O.T.

I can't believe I forgot!

Timmy spoke to Lani and me on Saturday night as he left Boatyard!
THE Timmy!
The same one who likes to ride minivans, and share out Courvoisier, and set fire to the backsides of Barbados!

The whole thing went down like this:

Timmy: You girls shouldn't have to walk out here to de car. Ya should have transP!
Me: But de car's right here!
Timmy: So de girls goin' home now den.
Me: Uh, yeh, iz 'bout dat time.

Not the most profound conversation, but still.
He's a lot taller than I imagined too.

I'm going to try to blog everday this week, even if I have nothing of substance to say.

C.O.T.

Occasionally, I find that my judgement of other people's actions may be somewhat harsh, and this tends to temper my own actions, ie. stop me from doin' things that my Part B might want to do.

For example, I refrained from goin' to a football match for the sole purpose of scoping out one-a the players, because if any other chick had done it, I would-a thought her a "man-hungry trick, with too much time on her hands".
Even reading that back I'm thinkin' "Yikes Daanz, tek it easy."

One-a these days I'll try ignoring that nagging little voice in my head (which sounds suspiciously like my father) and just "goin' with the flow"

Okay, I can admit...there IS something I don't quite like about ballroom.

I may have a small problem with the basic rule that the man is s'posed to do all the leading, while the woman does all the following.

Now if ya wanna get dramatic ( and I do, for this point especially), you can expand this to say that the woman must become a puppet on a string and react to the man's every whimsical lead!
Which I actually DO find myself doing since my sadistic dance partner is doing his best to "tame the shrew" on the dance floor. He knows that it irks me, and he enjoys every minute of it, because he knows that I can't really protest!

This is something which offends my sense of feminine independence (if I listen hard enough I can hear a chorus of male schupeses).

I know, I know...I need to get over this, and I will, on the dance floor anyhow.
But at least I can admit it.
They say that's the first step.

C.O.T.

Silly me...I was only fooling myself, I guess. I wasn't sure before, but now I know where we stand. I won't get melodramatic. I'll just move along smartly.
Back to the drawing board.

Right now I feel kinda energetic. Maybe it's the cup of coffee I had about an hour ago...or that I actually got enough sleep last night...or that it's rainy and cool on the outside. Y'know how this weather makes people frisky.
Anyhow, it's a great feeling...quite the opposite from how I felt yesterday, which was hazy and distracted.

C.O.T.

And now, may I present the lyrical stylings of Naolat Kukamunga!

X-Girl by N. Kukamunga

X-girl, X-girl
How I hate your guts.
You sound just like a super-hero
Yes, Champion of the sluts

Faster than a speeding ho
You alway beat me to him.
You wrangle him, entangle him,
Then shift, and leave just ruins.

How did you do that thing you did
That left him so bewitched?
And now, no matter how I try,
Can't seem to scratch his itch.

This doting fool you've left behind,
Can't seem to forget your face,
Even though you've done him wrong.
Such a pity. Such a waste.

He won't trust me because of you,
Ya dirty, triflin' skank
You're the ghost in his head, and the pain in my ass
And since I'm being frank,

I hate that you always get him first
You've read his body like a map
and when I feel I doin' suh'in new
You've always "Been there! Done that!".

Natasha, Jill, Elizabeth...
You have so many names,
But whatever form or shape you take,
It's always the same game.

I see right through your angel act
Doesn't matter what you're called,
To me, you're forever the "X-girl:
Most Hated Bitch Of All"

The End.

Dear Diary,

Last night I found myself in a kind of awkward scenario.

I was liming with a bunch-a peops, including Mr. Push-up King (let's call him P.K. for short, shall we) from previous blogs. His girlfriend was also present as usual and somehow the topic of conversation got around to my personality. And P.K.'s contribution was to start comparing me to his girlfriend, while she was sitting right there!
Listening to him, one would get the impression that I'm the Queen of Light, while she's the Princess of Darkness!
As flattering as that was for me, it still wasn't a cool thing for him to do.

I, of course laughed it off, as did everyone else, but she just kinda glared at him in that "no-nookie-for-you-tonight-buddy" kind of way.

Now this heffer is the jealous sort, and I ALREADY think she finds me annoying as it is, so NOW I get the feeling that I may have to keep my eyes open around her.

Lovely. Just lovely. Now I'm torn between 2 possible courses of action:

1.)Try to avoid talkin' to P.K. more than necessary out of respect for her boundaries, or
2.) Say to hell with her irrational jealousy and ask him to dance next time I see him (my Part B tends to prefer this option).

Oh, what the hell. This is their problem, not mine.

I must say this's been a fairly pleasant weekend, no major drama or anything. But then again...this is me I'm talkin' about. Major drama is just not a part of my life.

I finally went out on that movie date with the weirdo on Friday night. Afterwards I told him that I didn't feel any chemistry between us, and that we didn't seem to have much in common. He seemed cool with that.

However, the unexplained appearance of a hickey-like bruise on my neck the next morning leads me to believe that he may have drugged me at some point during the evening.

Geez, I really hope this is a rash.

Awright, I can't help it...I have GOT to share my thoughts on this.

The Ms. Universe Pageant.

From its title, I would've thought that this pageant would make more sense if it was representative of more universal or diverse standards of beauty.

But I swear, you could swap the heads around on all the contestants and, except for skin colour differences, the audience would be none the wiser! This is NOT diversity. Why are they trying to tell the world that only one body type is beautiful?

And now onto the hair: all the contestants seem to have this "long flowing tresses" thing goin' on...even the ones of African decent, for whom this style is unnaturally obtained. Is this a prerequisite for being considered "Ms.Universe" material?

I'll be behind these pageants when I see some sexy thick girls up there workin' it, alongside their slim sisters.
I'll be behind them when I see some elegant dreadlocks adorning the heads of a couple finalists.
I'll be behind them when I see some more contestants UNDER 5'10", for heaven's sake!


The other point that irks me about these things, is that it really exposes the cruelty in the average John/Jane Doe on-the-street. These girls are up on a pedestal for the whole WORLD to judge...and judged they are! Even the most unlikely people see fit to harshly tear into the contestants' appearances and highlight every perceived flaw.

"Look at she! She teet' too big!"
"You, she reaaal boney, doh!"
"Wait, but how she qualify tuh be in dis ting??"
"Uh-uhhhh, she dress look stink!"

Why are people so harsh? Does it make them feel better to point out the faults in others?
It makes me sick to hear it.

Okay, so I don't think anybody noticed anything different about me yesterday...boob-wise, that is. However, my shoulders are killing me right now, and I haven't figured out for sure if this is bra-related yet. Of course, it could be due to the "Battle Of The Sexes" tug o'war match I was involved in at the picnic yesterday.
My kingdom for a massage.

C.O.T.
Drunk people are so frigging annoying. I think from now on, I'll refuse to be introduced to anyone who's drunk at the time. It's pointless: they invariably make asses of themselves for their first impression, and they won't remember your name 3 minutes after you say it anyway.

*Daana rolls her eyes*

Today I'm goin' to a picnic and roadtesting my new Victoria Secrets strapless push-up bra. It's somewhat padded too. I wonder if anyone'll notice.
Oh, the thrills of new undies!

C.O.T.

I just love watching dancers. They all seem to have this inner peace about them...they're so comfortable with their bodies. They just exude this aura of confidence...as if they all belong to a special club with rules and rituals that ordinary folk can't even begin to understand. Even the way they walk across a room is different.

Most Interesting Observation Of The Week So Far

I've been reading the ingredients of a couple of the cheaper brands of that blue "icy" muscle rub stuff...and I've discovered that a few of them contain nonoxynol-9!
Now why would they put a spermicide in an ointment for achy-muscle relief?
Hmmmmmmmm
Perhaps I have stumbled upon something that runs deeper than anyone can imagine...

C.O.T.

I have to admit, living alone with my brother isn't as miserable as I thought it might be. He's actually more cooperative when the parents aren't around. Who woulda guessed.

I managed to wriggle out of my movie date. Phew.
I DID have a good reason though...I had to help work on some costumes for a performance on Sunday night! I realise that I really need to learn to sew. It would be so handy to be able to do more than just mend socks, hem skirts and attach buttons.
I'd step out de house looking like a black Paris Hilton every frikkin' day, dred! Only not as skinny.

C.O.T.

Starting today, my brother and I have the house to ourselves for the next week! That's right, de parents are off to New Orleans, the home of Mardis Gras! I warned my mother that I better not see her flashin' nuttin' on "Girls Gone Wild: The Over-40's Edition"
The more I think about it I shoulda warned my father too...he's got a rather disturbing exhibitionist streak in him.

Slight C.O.T.

My Dad has his annoying traits, but one thing I gotta admire about the man, is his stoicism! Pain just is NOT an issue for this guy! Last night, while frying some chicken, the oil spattered up and covered his entire hand!
(You know wha's ya whole hand covered in boiling oil???)

Dad didn't even gasp! He just walked quickly over to the sink and said "Somebody get me some ice-water." Meanwhile, Warren and I were running around like chickens without heads tryin' to get the ice for him as fast as we could! I mean, he always plays down any pain he may have, but he impressed the hell outa me that time, boy!
Cha, de same time he got burnt, an oil splatter, about the size of your average saliva golfball, had hit me in de backside, and even THAT little thing, made me squeal!
Props to Dad, a real macho man!

Wow, it's Thursday already...this week went faster than Lil Rick's waist at East Coast last year.

Man, I had such a grand ol' time LAST weekend, that I feel like getting out and being social again THIS weekend too!
Unfortunately, dance practice/performance will be taking up a big chunk of my party/lime schedule. Rats. JUST when I was gettin' the hang of it again.

Interestingly enough, I find myself with a movie date for this Friday night. A little voice inside me keeps whispering " Ammmm, y'know Daanz, this may not be such a good idea." But I can't help myself. After all, I DO wanna see this movie...so what if it's with that weirdo. As long as he doesn't try anything...odd, it should be okay.

C.O.T.

Daana's Tips For Good Livin'

Whenever you're takin' a shower, don't forget to pay special attention to all those oft-ignored nooks and crannies on your body. Ya never can tell where someone is planning on sticking their tongue!

Well...that sure was one heck of a birthday weekend.

The whole thing started on Thursday night. I went bar-hoppin' in the Gap wid my bro and my best friend who oversaw my endrunkenment. I don't think I'll be running THAT route again any time in the near future. I can handle bein' tipsy, but dat "drunk" ting ain' fuh me at all! Too much energy is spent making sure I neither do nor say anything stupid. One thing I've noticed is how much more attractive everyone else seems while under the affluence of incohol.

Friday night, I headed on over to Xtreme with my main mission being to hunt down Mr. Beautiful from last Saturday.
Pretty sad, I'll admit, but still not as sad as what happens later on.
This boy proved to be quite a challenging target. He reFUSED to stay put! All night long de man was walkin' up and down, in and out like he was on a frikkin' tour. And when his ass finally settled on spot for more than 5 minutes, he'd be talkin' to one girl or another. It was quite a draining experience.
Finally, I got to dance with him again...and then...it happened. The man pulled a "save me" manouvre on me!
Y'know, that move where you wanna get away from whoever's talkin'/dancin' with you, and you signal to your friend to save you by pretending to whisper in your ear about something important...

Talk about messin' with my head. I tellya, I just don't GET that dude. And I thought I was lookin' pretty cute that night too. Was he blind? Unfortunately, I still think he's fine. Ah well.

My Saturday turned out to be much better. Here're the highlights:

* Watching 2 yummy-lookin' young tings at de beach, glisten in the sun as they rubbed cocoa butter all over their torsos. Haha! I just love objectifying men!

* Dinner with a certain bunch of S.i.n.ners! Even though I was the only one who had boogie-fever, it was still a nice time! Thanks again Ana!

First of all, since I didn't get to go online yesterday, lemme take this opportunity right now to wish Lani Daisley a very Happy Birthday!! And remember girl, no matter what, you'll always be older than me! :)

C.O.T.

And now...I have something else to report...I...I don't even know how to begin, I'm just so pleased with myself!

First contact has been made, people!

That guy...that beautiful young man, whom I was so content to admire from afar at so many past fetes...finally asked me my name last night!
Those long, lingering looks definitely did not go unnoticed by him.

And we even got a chance to chat a little, despite regular interruptions by cock-blockers of both sexes!

As I suspected, he said he's kinda shy and he isn't much of dancer, which disappointed me a little until I asked
"So if I asked you to dance with me...would you?
To which he responded "Well, yeah!" Brutha man ain't too bad either!

Turns out he's leavin' to study soon, so it's a good thing I got to talk to him when I did.

See? My way of flirting may not always be the most obvious, nor may it achieve the fastest results, but I STILL got HIM to approach me first!
And THAT's what I wanted!

A world of seduction can be found in only a glance.